What I profess isn't pride in my addiction, just acceptance of it and refusal to be shamed for it, which is what you're all trying to foist on me. Drugs are a huge part of my life. To most of you, music is probably equally as big a part. I don't feel that I should have to be derided en masse, ganged up on like in a fucking grade-school cafeteria, just because of that.
I never wanted this for Jeff. If that's the impression you got, far from it. Most of our conversations revolved around how important it was to recognize when the time to stop comes for us addicts--in his case, the revelation that he'd fucked his internal organs all up. When that shit happens, when we "hit bottom," you either gotta stop or you know you're probably killing yourself. I wish more than anything he'd had the presence of mind to heed that warning. I'd like to think that I would, but as I said I don't particularly feel inclined to go on living when I'm not on drugs, so I can't imagine how it would work out. I didn't mean to lump Jeff in with myself, but our boats must be at least a little bit similar otherwise he wouldn't haven't taken that chance that we so thoroughly discussed.
Part of embracing and accepting your addiction is knowing when to lay it down. The people who stay in denial are the ones that are guaranteed to never walk away from it.