sorry dude. You look Amish. You can do one of the following to get on that show
turn into an big angry black man
make yourself really, really gay. Really gay
Turn into a buff, some what handsom meathead jock. get a girlfriend and punch her in the face. break up with her, then get all mushy and you will easily get her back, since she would have to be as dumb if not more so than you. Then beat her again. Then get on the show.
Turn into an incredibly vapid, yet hot slut.
Good luck buddy. I voted for you
Then I will hold you down and spit her percolations all over you until you're as greasy as the day she regrets pushing your big fat ass out her big fat cunt.