Any person requesting my vote for casting on The Real World will need to sign a waiver guaranteeing the following conditions, should she/he be chosen for the program:
1. At least one board member namedrop per episode. This can happen in an offhand manner, yet must be clearly audible on the tape. For example, random mutterance of "Yablonowitz...Yablonowitz," is acceptable as long as the camera is zoomed in on the cast members face, allowing for full lip-reading.
2. At least one guaranteed arrest, and not for something like fighting in the bar or peeing on the wall, I want to see a felony, in real life. IMPORTANT: Do not harm any children or animals.
3. Must wear at least one item of pink clothing or one pink accessory EVERY DAY. Jewelry counts, makeup does not.
4. No sex in the hot tub. It's unsanitary.
5. If at any time any of these conditions are not met, the cast member is to feign a nervous breakdown and demand to be removed from the group home. Said cast member will also be forfeiting any and all rights to do on-air television challenges. Bar tours at US universities exempted.
I've always thought it woudl be funny to get onto one of those shows and then just ruin as many shots as possible by yelling the same thing over and over or only making sense when you talk about 20% of the time.