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Thread: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

  1. #1
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Or, the Omnibus Collection of Daft Punk, Time Slot, Pet Shop Boys Closing the Sahara, Rolling Stones are Playing Saturday Because There's No Way That's The Final Lineup, And Other Such Bullshit.

  2. #2
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Bowie plays the Do Lab.
    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  3. #3
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    PSB better close the Sahara.
    NEW SIG

  4. #4
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I'll get a random act of kindness in the form of a pair of wristbands from someone. And Bowie. And shut the fuck up Tom.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable male, get off my case....

  5. #5
    old school travelfan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    The only reason OutKast wouldn't close out the fest is if Arcade Fire brought out GUESTS. And guests means Bowie.

  6. #6
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Arcade Fire are doing a secret set in the Gobi as the Reflektors.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?

  7. #7
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I'm getting a complimentary Artist pass from Paul Tollett just because he feels bad I can't make it this year.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Robin Thicke will show up with Pharrell Williams to do blurred lines, who will close the Sahara as Skrillex closes the main. Alan Thicke will dance on stage.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  9. #9
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Saturday will be the worst.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Did you not read the part about Alan Thicke dancing on stage? Worth the price of admission alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  11. #11
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Did you not read the part about Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  12. #12
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Muse has to cancel prior to Coachella, so they pull an Outside Lands and books Tenacious D to headline Saturday night.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    Did you not read the part about Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever
    Oh just you wait...
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  14. #14
    Coachella Junkie Ardentbiscuit's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I would guess that Arcade Fire is going to have some kind of synchronized reflector beach balls and they will all be in formal attire.

    OutKast will just have all of their various regular collaborators like Sleepy Brown.

    Muse just have a bigger light show.

  15. #15
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    Muse has to cancel prior to Coachella, so they pull an Outside Lands and books Tenacious D to headline Saturday night.
    Except the D decide they are on the verge of becoming Sarah Jessica Parker's unmentionable cosmetic surgery overdrive, but tonight will be performing as Daft Punk and the spiders from Mars. Saturday is the Coachella's best day Evah.

    Source: consequence of sound and monklish
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable male, get off my case....

  16. #16
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Psychic Friend will be giving me rides on her cart while Ivankay gives me backrubs
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  17. #17
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by koryp View Post
    I'll get a random act of kindness in the form of a pair of wristbands from someone. And Bowie. And shut the fuck up Tom.
    Last year they were stars

  18. #18

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    OutKast, The Knife and The Replacements will all be on the main but will still conflict because they will split the stage in thirds and all play at the same time. case closed everyone wins.

  19. #19
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    Last year they were stars
    Last year, weren't we all really just made from stars. I like hearts better anyway, I've never held a star in my hand.

    I'm also pretty sure Steve will become a multithousandaire selling his patented Daft Punk desert respirator helmets to the droves of fans in attendance for their post Grammy festival performance.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable male, get off my case....

  20. #20
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    The Oasis Dome will have a special setup for the fight of the century

    Tom vs Ron
    With a undercard of
    Suzy vs ??? (from parts unknown)
    knvty in a inflatable kiddie pool filled with baby oil taking on any willing participant

  21. #21

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    10 minutes into Beady Eye's set, as the crowd is starting to thin, Noel walks out, he and Liam hug it out and they play a vintage '97 stripped down 40-minuted Oasis set.

  22. #22
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by grichsgang View Post
    10 minutes into Beady Eye's set, as the crowd is starting to thin, Noel walks out, he and Liam hug it out and they play a vintage '97 stripped down 40-minuted Oasis set.
    And everyone falls asleep out of sheer boredom.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  23. #23
    old school Mr. Fuzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    Arcade Fire are doing a secret set in the Gobi as the Reflektors.
    This would be amazing!
    fuckin' with the lights on

  24. #24

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I yell "play Wonderwall asshole" at least 46 times during Beadyeye's set.

    Wonderwall is not played.

  25. #25

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    And everyone falls asleep out of sheer boredom.
    You and I would (we'd probably both be at NMH or Toy Dolls), but I suspect there might be a few among the 80k that would welcome it.

  26. #26
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    The Heineken Dome is not at Coachella.

    8/29: King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard @ The Rickshaw Stop
    8/29: Jack J @ 222 Hyde
    9/13: Dirtybird BBQ @ Treasure Island
    9/13: Man Man @ The Independent
    9/18: The Acid @ The Chapel
    9/18: Octave One, Solar, Vin Sol @ Mighty
    9/20: Max Graef, Huxley, Glenn Astro @ The Midway
    9/23-27: Decibel Festival
    9/29: Titus Andronicus @ The Chapel

  27. #27

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Daft Punk will play in the Yuma. The amount of people in an enclosed space will become lower than 1p/1ps, violating Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle. This will be the first time/place quantum behavior is observable in humans, a landmark for scientific observation. Unfortunately as everything nearby gravitates towards Daft Punks last live show in over seven years, including the fabric of space/time itself, a black hole of inconceivable proportions will form. Destroying the universe.
    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    The dance tent for adults.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by calnick0 View Post
    Daft Punk will play in the Yuma. The amount of people in an enclosed space will become lower than 1p/1ps, violating Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle. This will be the first time/place quantum behavior is observable in humans, a landmark for scientific observation. Unfortunately as everything nearby gravitates towards Daft Punks last live show in over seven years, including the fabric of space/time itself, a black hole of inconceivable proportions will form. Destroying the universe.
    You're an awful, awful human being.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  29. #29
    Member SoHungry310's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Hotshot will make an appearance.
    In regards to Steve Aoki's appearance at future Coachellas:
    Quote Originally Posted by PassiveTheory View Post
    Only if you say his name thrice while in the bathroom at night with the lights turned out.

  30. #30
    Member Kindoy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    danny devito hologram
    crab fries

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