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Thread: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

  1. #121
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Where the shit have you been? I could fucking hit you you've been gone so long.
    He is proving he has life outside of the board.
    Translation


    Swans @ Terminal West 03/28/15
    Drive like Jehu @ The Glass House 04/08/15
    Electric Wizard @ Slims 04/17/15
    Acid Mother Temple @ BOTM 04/18/15
    Faith No More @ the Warfield 04/20/15
    John Zorn @ UCLA 05/02/15
    Will Bulter @ Slims 05/26/15
    Neutral Milk Hotel @ Pappy & Harriets 05/30/15
    Mariah Carey @ Caesars palace 06/11/14


    Last.fm
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Fuck you.

  2. #122
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    No he doesn't. He's married. His life is over.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  3. #123
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Your life isnt over just because you get married.
    Translation


    Swans @ Terminal West 03/28/15
    Drive like Jehu @ The Glass House 04/08/15
    Electric Wizard @ Slims 04/17/15
    Acid Mother Temple @ BOTM 04/18/15
    Faith No More @ the Warfield 04/20/15
    John Zorn @ UCLA 05/02/15
    Will Bulter @ Slims 05/26/15
    Neutral Milk Hotel @ Pappy & Harriets 05/30/15
    Mariah Carey @ Caesars palace 06/11/14


    Last.fm
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Fuck you.

  4. #124
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    How the fuck would you know?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  5. #125
    Coachella Junkie greghead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    I've definitely jerked off to Marilyn Monroe's Playboy spread, she was fucking hot. The only difference between that shot Bryan posted and current stuff of similar style is color photography.
    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    No Taj Mahal or Ry Cooder? Fuck this thread.

  6. #126
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Two threads of Monroe. Aren't we enlightened?

  7. #127
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Greg, you are a goddamn liar. I haven't jerked off to a still image since i was
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  8. #128
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    "...since I was boasting about my sexual internet exploits a few hours ago, and accidentally premed my jeans."

  9. #129
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    How the fuck would you know?
    Well i am assuming but I'm pretty damn sure posting on a thread about masterbation in any sort historical factor and has taken the time with degree of debating has a dull life which is less my idea of a marriage life.
    Translation


    Swans @ Terminal West 03/28/15
    Drive like Jehu @ The Glass House 04/08/15
    Electric Wizard @ Slims 04/17/15
    Acid Mother Temple @ BOTM 04/18/15
    Faith No More @ the Warfield 04/20/15
    John Zorn @ UCLA 05/02/15
    Will Bulter @ Slims 05/26/15
    Neutral Milk Hotel @ Pappy & Harriets 05/30/15
    Mariah Carey @ Caesars palace 06/11/14


    Last.fm
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Fuck you.

  10. #130
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Well i am assuming but I'm pretty damn sure posting on a thread about masterbation in any sort historical factor and has taken the time with degree of debating has a dull life which is less my idea of a marriage life.
    ...
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  11. #131
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Frame that.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  12. #132
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    At least there's one person who definitely makes less sense than Marilyn Monroe.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  13. #133
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Well i am assuming but I'm pretty damn sure posting on a thread about masterbation in any sort historical factor and has taken the time with degree of debating has a dull life which is less my idea of a marriage life.
    Read three times. Still makes zero sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?

  14. #134
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Allow me to translate --

    He's saying that MJA only masturbates to Patricia Heaton from the first 3 seasons of Everybody Loves Raymond now that he's married.

    4/17: Swans, Angel Olsen
    4/18: Lee Coombs, Aphrodite @ Public Works
    4/24-26: Stagecoach
    5/1: Giegling Showcase @ Oakland
    5/2: Sleater-Kinney @ The Masonic
    5/3: Four Tet B2B Floating Points @ Public Works
    5/28: Refused, White Lung @ GAMH
    5/30: Neutral Milk Hotel @ Pappy & Harriet's
    6/2: Kiasmos ft. Olafur Arnalds, Rival Consoles @ The Independent

  15. #135
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    How many months did it take you to become fluent in Zachese?
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?

  16. #136
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Guedi, I'm just laying this out there right now: 1000 dollars for a week's worth of his sex-related texts.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  17. #137
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    is just your ass goes al round nd sometimes i can help myself
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  18. #138
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    i caming
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  19. #139
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    I rubbed one out to GB in Gue's clothes, but I'm probably the only one.

  20. #140
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Why were you wearing Guedi's clothes?


    I can't fucking believe you're an English teacher.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  21. #141
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Who is the most masturbated-to man in history?

    Ron Jeremy, right?

  22. #142
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    After me, yeah, probably Ron.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  23. #143
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Damon Albarn.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    So it turns out Jesus is a LOT like cr***

  24. #144
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Who is the most masturbated-to man in history?

    Ron Jeremy, right?
    I doubt it. I mean, I like fat disgusting dudes and even I've never jerked it to him. The guy whose been most accidentally climaxed to while focus was trying to be paid to a female by straight guys, I wouldn't be surprised though.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  25. #145
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    That last sentence was positively getbetteresque, Patrick. Nice.

  26. #146
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Man - currently is probably Ryan Gosling, but of all time would have to be Tom Selleck

  27. #147
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Mack, before you post some other picture to show how well referenced you are--have you ever jerked off to Marilyn Monroe? Yes or no, counselor.
    I figured the fact that I had a picture handy would be evidence enough. Sure, I found it on the internet, but still.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  28. #148

    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Michelangelo's David statue or Wilt Chamberlain.
    I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member...

  29. #149
    Coachella Junkie greghead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Greg, you are a goddamn liar. I haven't jerked off to a still image since i was
    You're right, you got me. It was actually Bette Midler.
    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    No Taj Mahal or Ry Cooder? Fuck this thread.

  30. #150
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who is the Most Masturbated-To Woman in History?

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Damon Albarn.
    How about the most masturbated-to pigs or dogs?
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

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