25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

[Mike Litoris]

Protip: If you have to poop in the port o potties, do it early in the morning. Anytime after 11, and it turns into a poop sauna.

[Necie]

13. don't be the clown - don't dress to be 'seen' ....go to the show....don't try to be the show. This is my personal opinion....some people feel the need to be looked at and have to be the center of attention....I advise don't. If our crew rolled up and were meeting someone and they were clowned up...we'd ditch em. It's like going to an NFL game, don't face paint.

I agreed with everything except this. If part of ones festival experience is to dress up in shit that others consider outlandish/weird/"clowny", as long as it's not affecting you, what's the point in commenting on it? I think a better way to phrase this is to say something to the effect of "If you're going to go all out/dress up, ensure that you are able to move freely, will not overheat/freeze, and will NOT become a physical or visual obstacle to those standing around/behind you."

*shrugs* The kind of people who are going to dress up probably wouldn't want to hang out with a group of people who don't want them around simply because they decided that dressing up is how THEY totally immerse themselves into a festival. :-) Enjoy your Coachella, as I will certainly enjoy mine!

[Shaxspear]

Don't sit anywhere near the fences by the washroom areas. With the long lines, people piss on and around those fences all night long.

[ENluv12]

Don't sit anywhere near the fences by the washroom areas. With the long lines, people piss on and around those fences all night long.

Same with the hill at the back of the main stage. I saw + or - 10 people try to sit where someone had JUST peed within about 20 minutes.

[SepaGroove]

I agreed with everything except this. If part of ones festival experience is to dress up in shit that others consider outlandish/weird/"clowny", as long as it's not affecting you, what's the point in commenting on it? I think a better way to phrase this is to say something to the effect of "If you're going to go all out/dress up, ensure that you are able to move freely, will not overheat/freeze, and will NOT become a physical or visual obstacle to those standing around/behind you."

*shrugs* The kind of people who are going to dress up probably wouldn't want to hang out with a group of people who don't want them around simply because they decided that dressing up is how THEY totally immerse themselves into a festival. :-) Enjoy your Coachella, as I will certainly enjoy mine!

I bet you're going to wear some hideously obnoxious outfit to Coachella this year.

[MsPiggy]

There is always free water stations so bring your own reusable bottle. Make sure it can clip onto your bag or clothes so you aren't lugging it around and don't lose it

[alysiarenee]

if you go early enough you can catch them right after they've just been cleaned. WORTH IT!

[alysiarenee]

I agreed with everything except this. If part of ones festival experience is to dress up in shit that others consider outlandish/weird/"clowny", as long as it's not affecting you, what's the point in commenting on it? I think a better way to phrase this is to say something to the effect of "If you're going to go all out/dress up, ensure that you are able to move freely, will not overheat/freeze, and will NOT become a physical or visual obstacle to those standing around/behind you."

*shrugs* The kind of people who are going to dress up probably wouldn't want to hang out with a group of people who don't want them around simply because they decided that dressing up is how THEY totally immerse themselves into a festival. :-) Enjoy your Coachella, as I will certainly enjoy mine!

Agreed. Do whatever you want as long as you're not getting in anyone's way or preventing them from having fun. Last year there were two girls standing in the front of a stage putting on fake eyelashes. I don't care that they wore them, but they were standing in a great spot putting on fucking eyelashes.

[dekelou]

People who have gotten lockers before, how bad is the crowd when you actually get the locker on Friday?

There's hardly ever a line. Get your merch early and stash it.

[Necie]

I bet you're going to wear some hideously obnoxious outfit to Coachella this year.

You're damn right I am, and holy FUCK I'm going to have a great time not giving a fuck about anything except my own good time! :-)

[mrjhsm]

2012 was my second Coachella, and I went weekend 2, which means I saw 106 degree heat on Saturday. The one thing that saved mine and all my friends asses was a thing called a Frog Tog. It's a towel/fabric thing that keeps moisture locked in. Basically, I would buy a powerade from the carts on a hot day and ask if I could dunk my Tog into their ice water for a tip. They always said yes. It would be ice cold and stay cool for 4 hours. This thing is a MUST. Seriously, you won't regret buying it. You can find them at the Wal Mart on the way in.

[alysiarenee]

You're damn right I am, and holy FUCK I'm going to have a great time not giving a fuck about anything except my own good time! :-)

as you should!

[EllaL]

do you think its worth getting a locker even if you have onsite camping?

[alysiarenee]

do you think its worth getting a locker even if you have onsite camping?

I always camp and never rent a locker. Just don't bring in things you don't need. (Do you really need your camera, phone, hand sanitizer, baby wipes, spray bottle, water bottle, fan, Kleenex, extra batteries, a small pharmacy and face paint at all times?) As long as you get there at a reasonable time you'll be camped close enough to go back during the day if you need anything.

[fatbastard]

1. don't sell drugs to anyone. Either share or just keep em' ....Cops are out and about. If you even say you want $5 you are going to jail...no get out of jail free cards.
The cops at Coachella catch so many people selling....reality is if you gonna sell....this little post ain't gonna stop ya.
The #1 rule the cops have is to catch people selling within & keep people safe

2. Lockers WILL sell out - ...nice thing is you can leave a lot of the stuff in your locker all day then track back once a day to get it....then leave all the stuff you don't need there for the morning.
I can fit all this junk listed here in a backpack that fits easily into the smallest locker they sell. The medium locker will easily fit 2 full sized totally packed backpacks.

3. Don't bring your good sunglasses - odds are you'll lose them either dancing, drinking, stumbling or all the above at some moment. Buy some cheap sunglasses and bring a back up pair as you are likely to lose at least one pair.

4. Hat - have one

5. Good comfy shoes - ladies no one is going to look at your feet and you are gonna walk at least 3-4 miles every day...be ready and wear your best athletic shoes you got...if you have flip flops people will be stepping on your toes....expect it.

6. Sunscreen and more sunscreen - plan on applying at least twice a day....I laugh my ass off at people on Saturday whom are already burnt...they are hurting come Saturday afternoon and they still have a day and half to go....I see many just giving up and going back to the tents because they are burnt

6B. Aloe - bring it and use it every night....even with sunscreen you are gonna get some mild burn.

7. Vitamins - take one every morning or lunch ...when ever you can stomach it.

8. Asprin - if you are gonna be parting...plan on a lot of asprin.... I take 3 b4 bed every night...wake up loving life

9. Immodium - take it if you need it or not....it'll keep you away from the port-o-poty. One per day.
9B - if you have allergies bring Claritin.

10. Bring cold weather gear...even if the forcast says it's gonna be 115 degrees. At night the temp will drop down and you'll want a long sleeve shirt and pants. The cold effect is magnified because you are burnt....it's funny to see people shivering that didn't plan on it being cold at night. Every year I hear 'I didn't think it'd get this c-c-c-cold.' Add to the list THIN GLOVES. Keeps your hands warm and you don't have to stuff your hands in your pockets come night fall.

11. Bring a scarf or face mask - the last two years it's been great and we didn't need them as the wind was down, but for majority of the years the wind blows hard (insert joke) and the dust is freaking unreal...those that have been here have seen that it'll be the worst dust storm you've ever seen in your life....without the scarf your gonna be coughing up dust chunks all night long. I go as far as to bring clear glasses to keep the dust out of my eyes. I didn't use them the last two years, but took them anyway.

12. Ear Plugs - while concerts are awesome permanent hearing damage isn't. There are good sets out there cheap - you won't look dumb and you can hear everything well. If you are one of those ' I ain't wearing ear plugs' expect your ears to ring for 3 days after the festival - even if you are not close to the speakers....you got yourself some permanent damage.

13. don't be the clown - don't dress to be 'seen' ....go to the show....don't try to be the show. This is my personal opinion....some people feel the need to be looked at and have to be the center of attention....I advise don't. If our crew rolled up and were meeting someone and they were clowned up...we'd ditch em. It's like going to an NFL game, don't face paint. (added) if you gonna dress up as the clown, don't wear shit that's gonna block other peoples view of the stage (i.e. super large hats). I still think you should know that you are going to the show....you are not the show. People that have that 'look at me, look at me' attitude need psychological assistance.

14. when the lineup comes out...open it up on one screen then open itunes in another. Listen to every band and rate them. It'll be a lot easier with that cheat sheet when the lineup times come out to decide who you want to see. You'll find a few bands you've never heard of and once you see them...odds are you may become a fan.

15. take time to yourself. Don't be hitched with your group.....venture out on your own. It'll be some of the best times you have...guaranteed. I take off on my own every year for a few hours.

16. People watching at Coachella is far and away some of the best you'll get. I enjoy having a pint and watching all the different individuals.

17. don't be the idiot people are babysitting

18. leave your damn phone in your locker or off. you don't need to tweet every thing you do. try talking to someone as you wait for a band to start rather than stare into a f'n screen. Also, don't be the douche video taping the concert. Have fun and jam....you can find the entire concert you saw online via youtube when you get home....someone a lot closer did it....allow him to be the fool who tried to stand still while everyone else was partying. If you bring an iPad and video tape a show you should be kicked in your teeth. It blocks peoples view - at night it's too f'n bright and distracting. I hope someone runs past you and takes and and keeps on going...as you'll never find them amungst the masses.

19. Have fun!

20. if driving: have an extra cooler with drinks and goodies as it's very common that it'll take an hour or more to get out of the festival....you will sit in one spot for 15 min. then move 6 feet and sit again for 15 min.

21. Expect to have other peoples sweat all over you. There is NO PERSONAL SPACE when you go to see any of the stage shows. Get rid of any idea of personal space you currently have. You will be shoulder to shoulder with masses of people....but have fun, jump around and have a good time. I remember my first Coachella (personal space story) I was fairly close to the stage and as time was getting closer to the show more and more people walked up to the are I was in. The closed in on me and it got so close that a guy got right next to me - actually touching me shoulder to shoulder - I said, "dude" (thinking I had some personal space) -after standing there for a second I looked around and thought 'it's gonna be like this all weekend....get used to it). I got used to it - had fun - and was better off expecting it the remainder of that weekend and every year since. It's the exchange of sweat!

22. Guys don't grope the girl dancing in front of you.....not cool.

23. "State Farm" - be a good neighbor - say Hi...you may get a new friend.

24. If you are standing by people that are uncool....simply move to another spot....don't feel connected to that one spot. Move.

25. If you see someone doing something way uncool...call em out on it. EX. at Cage the Elephant people were body surfing. Three meat heads - large roided up high school students came into the area by us. They were having fun. problem was they had never participated in body surfing and when people were moved up to them they tried to catapult the person to the next level. 2 people fell pretty bad...then a skinny dude came accross and the biggest of them really pushed him hard. Guy went way up and went crashing down on people and was headed face first to the ground. He ended up ok. I went over to them and said 'what's up' I told them the object of body surfing is to hand them off to the next person....don't catapult them. Think of it like a waiter with a tray...hand them off.' They said 'OOOOooooo...didn't know that.' They were cool the rest of the time helping people that were body surfing....they just didn't know any better. Another example is at one stage two young idiots were picking up water bottles at the back of the crowd and chucking them into the middle of the crowd. People were getting bombed. They thought it was funny. I told them they were fucking lame and they took off... Moral of the story....step up.

26. Chapstick / Blistex - goes along with the sunscreen - your lips will get burnt and dried out...carry it with ya.

27. Tissues - take a few- with all the dust it beats sniffling hour after hour...and no one wants to see snot rockets

28. car park app - you'll thank me a 1000 x's if you just follow this one and only this one. When you leave the festival you will be messed up. Trying to remember where your car is at is a lot harder than you can imagine. First off you came in during the day...it's now night....there is no lighting in the parking lots and every car is covered in dust....so they all look the same. You will also have to walk a long distance and through other parking lots to get to the festival. MAKE THIS THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU PARK...open the app and mark your cars position. Do it every day. It'll save you a fucking ton of time and a hell of a lot of heat...and you can shut up the drunk friend who is saying 'na dude the car is over there --->' I've seen and heard more people lost in the parking lots than I can count. Also heard a bunch of stories of people who slept on the ground because they were so messed up they couldn't find their car. Even if you have a camp spot I'd use this app....so that no matter how messed up I got I can always find my way back. I have one that puts me within 2 feet of my car, has arrows pointing the way and everything. (doesn't mean I'm the one driving)

29. Be ready for the early shows the next day - don't be the person the crew is waiting on because you got too fucked up the night before. Coachella is a marathon....not a sprint...re read that. If you go and get trashed you are going to miss out. If you have someone in your crew too fucked up....fuck em...take off and have fun....tell them to meet up with you at X spot later....don't feel you have to babysit them....again venturing off on your own at shows is a ton of fun.

30. Plan on not going to work on Monday...your mind and body will be T-T-t-t-trashed. You are gonna need one day to recover. To those of you who make it to work/school monday. I go, but I'm almost worthless.

This has me thinking about the fields right now. Thanks for taking me there.

[kerby14]

Addition:

Walkie Talkies are the best form of communication. For like 29.99 you can buy a three pack with 4 tuning (ie 10.13 wave setting) and has a feature can page the others. You can have your own channel and talk with your friends as long as everyone stays charged. You want something with at least a 5-mile radius.


Mods:

34. Earplugs. *also a great way to sleep at night if your campground is partying.

lol til other people on the same frequency as you tell you to come somewhere none of your friends will be, plus

Added bonus: you look like a fucking tool while using a walkie talkie on the polo fields trying to find your friends by the churro stand.

You look like even more of a tool walking around looking for service on a cell phone trying to find your friends by the churro stand.

"HELLO!? HELLO!? WHICH CHURRO STAND IS IT BRO? BY THE MOJAVE? BY THE MAIN? HELLO!?

instead, .....

Yes. Timestamp your text messages, have designated spots to meet at, don't be a fucking pussy and freak out if you can't find your friends.

and be prepared so that when things dont go as planned, you can embrace it and have an even better time than you imagined

[Gigger]

Watch at least one sunrise.

[LockNes]

Disagree with #13...It's a festival. Be wild, dress crazy, dye your hair purple, dance around in the camp ground with a stereo on your shoulder and start a fuckin conga line. If you aren't here to have fun, don't fuckin come!

[CBPodge]

2012 was my second Coachella, and I went weekend 2, which means I saw 106 degree heat on Saturday. The one thing that saved mine and all my friends asses was a thing called a Frog Tog. It's a towel/fabric thing that keeps moisture locked in. Basically, I would buy a powerade from the carts on a hot day and ask if I could dunk my Tog into their ice water for a tip. They always said yes. It would be ice cold and stay cool for 4 hours. This thing is a MUST. Seriously, you won't regret buying it. You can find them at the Wal Mart on the way in.

This sounds like magic. I distrust it, and distrust you.

Disagree with #13...It's a festival. Be wild, dress crazy, dye your hair purple, dance around in the camp ground with a stereo on your shoulder and start a fuckin conga line. If you aren't here to have fun, don't fuckin come!

But try not to have so much fun on any day other than the last that you ruin the next one!

There is always free water stations so bring your own reusable bottle. Make sure it can clip onto your bag or clothes so you aren't lugging it around and don't lose it

Or just do what I did last year, and convince your friend to take his bag in full of empty water bottles. Queue up once, 10 bottles of water, none of the carrying it around nonsense.

[alysiarenee]

Watch at least one sunrise.

!!! can't be beat

[threeve]

Or just do what I did last year, and convince your friend to take his bag in full of empty water bottles. Queue up once, 10 bottles of water, none of the carrying it around nonsense.

last year i was told at security that i could only have one nalgene bottle.

[artisticcreator]

You're damn right I am, and holy FUCK I'm going to have a great time not giving a fuck about anything except my own good time! :-)

Awesome! Dress for success and fun!

[artisticcreator]

If it looks cold or rainy, you can get cheap disposable ponchos that will keep you warm going to the car.

Get a locker and share it with friends. The medium will hold allot of stuff for 3 or 4 people. And it's cheaper to share.
Let one person keep the key in a safe spot. Pass it around and it will disappear along with your deposit.

[kerby14]

how much space should you allot per person if you share it 3-4 ways?

[JayXMonsta]

Great list will bookmark if I forgot Benadryl i would be so angry lol and I bet I would have that grass is gonna make me so ichy

[ENluv12]

how much space should you allot per person if you share it 3-4 ways?

Last year for coldchella we shared a locker with 4 people and had way more than enough space with a change of clothes, merch, typical supplies (baby wipes, tp, etc) a towel, and a change of shoes.

[laurbn]

21. Expect to have other peoples sweat all over you. There is NO PERSONAL SPACE when you go to see any of the stage shows. Get rid of any idea of personal space you currently have. You will be shoulder to shoulder with masses of people....but have fun, jump around and have a good time. I remember my first Coachella (personal space story) I was fairly close to the stage and as time was getting closer to the show more and more people walked up to the are I was in. The closed in on me and it got so close that a guy got right next to me - actually touching me shoulder to shoulder - I said, "dude" (thinking I had some personal space) -after standing there for a second I looked around and thought 'it's gonna be like this all weekend....get used to it). I got used to it - had fun - and was better off expecting it the remainder of that weekend and every year since. It's the exchange of sweat!

THIS. my biggest pet peeve is people getting offended if we bump and you get my sweat on you. it's hot and crowded. be prepared.

[tigermilkboy]

If you car camp, don't decide to turn on your car and sit in a nice AC cooled car. Yes, it is nice to feel cool but your neighbors are getting choked.

[alysiarenee]

THIS. my biggest pet peeve is people getting offended if we bump and you get my sweat on you. it's hot and crowded. be prepared.

her second biggest pet peeve is bitches expecting personal space to apply their fake eyelashes.

[Jemima]

No matter how cute she is please don't put her on your shoulders. SURE, she can see but it just pisses off everyone who is now staring at the back of a bitch-pole. So annoying.[/QUOTE]

love this one!!