My family was displeased about me sharing a story at the dinner table that began with "One time when I was in the slammer..." and then later I told my mother she was a "hoarding freak."
Oh it's just a fat fucking cops shoving their faces with donuts for half an hour instead of letting me out at the time I was told I would be released story.
DUI on a labor day weekend when I was 18. Actually my favorite part of that story is that I used my one phone call at 4 AM to call my best friend and had like a three minute conversation with her before I was like oh by the way come pick me up in the morning I'm in jail.
You are so adorable, Gue.