2013 Fake Poster Thread

[theklein25]

I bet people said about the Killers too and look where they fucking ended up!

[ocbruin84]

WEZZER

[geonotgio]

[travelfan]

Blur is not big enough to headline in America. Nobody here knows Blur songs. Everybody knows Song #2, except nobody knows it is Blur and people just know it as the "woooh woooh" song and think it is from a car commercial. They would get first sub out of respect.

[Grant]

you need to work on your billing

[nbvcide]

I wonder what Ivy has to say to Ben Folds Five being on the fourth line...

what did she have to say about them being on the sixth line on the Bonnaroo poster?

[nbvcide]

[apostle2]

what did she have to say about them being on the sixth line on the Bonnaroo poster?

Hope this is a joke.

[nick5745]

Lil Wayne will NEVER play Coachella, fuck that

[icedKeg]

+1 for Os Mutantes

[nbvcide]

Lil Wayne will NEVER play Coachella, fuck that

you're right. that would be like Eminem playing. oh wait.


lolz speaking of bonnaroo..

[H_is_O]

ELTON JOHN WOULD DEFINITIVELY BE A HEADLINE, AND PLEASE REMOVE NO DOUBT

[nbvcide]

He would only headline if he was playing a headlining set. If he was only gonna do 50min-1hr15, then no, he wouldn't. (and he would be cheaper*ahem*i mean, less expensive for GV to get)

[GuyInTucson]

what did she have to say about them being on the sixth line on the Bonnaroo poster?

Shut the fuck up.

[TomAz]

Eddie Vedder third line, under the Bravery. David Byrne, third line, under fun. Apparently the world did not exist prior to 2005.

[nbvcide]

Eddie Vedder third line, under the Bravery. David Byrne, third line, under fun. Apparently the world did not exist prior to 2005.

Really?! you're gonna tell me you've never noticed Coachella booking legends below hipster bands with 1 or 2 albums? especially solo acts? Look, tell me the last time the act that played the Outdoor at sunset that was on the first 2 lines, cuz i'm fairly certain it's never happened. Outdoor sunset acts are usually 3rd or even 4th lines, so the booking fits.

Solo acts are never billed as high as the group they are most known for:
Pulp subheadlined, but Jarvis Cocker was on the, you guessed it, third line. (not to mention Outdoor sunset)
Gorillaz headlined, Blur was 2nd line, but Damon Albarn's The Good The Bad & The Queen was yup, third line.
Faith No More subheadlined, but Mike Patton was on the 5th line
Rage Against The Machine headlined, but Zach's One Day As A Lion was 4th line (& Tom Morello 6th).
Oasis headlined, but Noel Gallagher was 2nd line (under Bon Iver and David Guetta)
Bright Eyes subheadlined, but Conor Oberst was 3rd line

MIA over Chem Bros, Madness third line under M83 and Amon Tobin, Buzzcocks 5th line after A$AP Rocky, Erykah Badu third line under Steve Angello, Duran Duran 2nd line under The Strokes, Sven Vath third line under Axwell, Air & Happy Mondays 2nd line over Willie Nelson & Crowded House & the Roots, Vampire Weekend billed 3rd over the Specials and Echo & the Bunnymen and Johnny Rotten's Public Image Ltd, MGMT over Devo, Lupe Fiasco 3rd line over Public Enemy's 4th line, Booker T billed 5th line under Turbonegro, Mumford & Sons billed 2nd line, over the London Suede & Big Audio Dynamite & Erykah Badu & Bright Eyes. Is Throbbing Gristle bigger than X? No. But it's a bigger get (even if it proved to not be a draw, at all).

Jeff Mangum third line, under Miike Snow
Lauryn Hill third line, under Interpol
Noel Gallagher under Bon Iver
Les Claypool 5th line, under Major Lazer, Dirty Projectors, Gossip
Paul Weller (of The Jam) 3rd line, under Lupe Fiasco and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Bob Mould (of Husker Du) 6th line, under Para One & Surkin and the Bloody Beetroots
all solo artists known for the bands they used to perform with, all billed low.

Leonard Cohen, 3rd line (under Franz Ferdinand). Is Eddie Vedder solo or even David Bryne bigger than Cohen? No, i wouldn't say so. You could make the case that Vedder & Byrne are bigger than the solo acts listed above (i would disagree), and I would counter that the acts listed higher than Vedder & Byrne are bigger than those acts that were listed ABOVE the above solo acts. Not to mention that they'd all be bigger draws (if not gets) than Vedder & Byrne. Be honest, how many there would give a fuck about Vedder's solo album? Or David Byrne's solo work? Everyone there would be waiting for those 2 or 3 Pearl Jam/Talking Heads songs and you know it. And the whole board would bitch how awful the set was if they didn't.

GIL SCOTT HERON 6TH LINE AFTER THE WHITEST BOY ALIVE, LA ROUX, DJ LANCE ROCK, DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN, PROXY, STEVE PORTER, LUCERO AND RA RA RIOT.

[nbvcide]

it's not just Coachella.

Bonnaroo:
Jack Johnson billed over Robert Plant, Phil Lesh, Allman Brothers, Willie Nelson, and BB King
Yeah Yeah Yeahs & Andrew Bird above Merle Haggard
Skrillex and Aziz Ansari (the guy from Parks & Rec) over Alice Cooper
Widespread Panic over White Stripes
they billed The Strokes and Mumford & Sons on the 3rd line the same year Strokes co-headlined Coachella
(billed 12th overall at roo, 4th at chella)
of course, they billed David Bryne above Snoop Dogg (who co-headlined Coachella), Al Green, Elvis Costello. which gives even more reason to bill him lower.
Black Keys (as a subheadliner) billed above Neil Young (and also Buffalo Springfield)
and they billed the Beach Boys under that band that does that 'Creep' song..

Lollapalooza:
The Killers over Beastie Boys and over Jane's Addiction twice
Kings of Leon over Lou Reed
Ben Harper over Iggy & the Stooges
Snow Patrol over Patti Smith


i could go on and on and on...

[TickleMeElmo]

Whenever I see a poster with the wrong font, I just assume it's complete shit.

[nick5745]

you're right. that would be like Eminem playing. oh wait.


lolz speaking of bonnaroo..

except lil wayne is complete garbage lyrically and vocally...

and eminem is not...

so no, it wouldnt be like that at all, sorry

[Phunkevil]

Eminem also didn't headline. In fact, he wasn't billed at all. So, implying that Lil Wayne would be booked because Eminem played for a total of 12 minutes at another artist's set is ridiculous.

EDIT* Also, Bonnaroo ≠ Coachella.

[ialvarado2]

What the fuck's wrong with you man? That poster is wrong on so many levels.

[ialvarado2]

Look, tell me the last time the act that played the Outdoor at sunset that was on the first 2 lines, cuz i'm fairly certain it's never happened.

The National, 2011. Outdoor at 7:25 pm.

Love and Rockets, 2008. Outdoor at 7:30 pm.

Was it kind of darkish when those sets started?

I didn't went to 2007, but the Decemberists played the Outdoor from 6:20 to 7:10. Not sure if that would be sunset.

[ialvarado2]

Solo acts are never billed as high as the group they are most known for:

Jack White would be a big exception, but he's been touring a lot this year so I don't see him playing Coachella next year.

[nbvcide]

lolz

and i'm the one who doesn't know what he's talking about..

[Newro7ic]

The National, 2011. Outdoor at 7:25 pm.

Love and Rockets, 2008. Outdoor at 7:30 pm.

Was it kind of darkish when those sets started?

I didn't went to 2007, but the Decemberists played the Outdoor from 6:20 to 7:10. Not sure if that would be sunset.

The National was sunset. Didn't watch Love & Rockets. Sun was very much still up for The Decemberists.

[nbvcide]

Whenever I see a poster with the wrong font, I just assume it's complete shit.

you can't change the font on the auto-poster thing.

[Boourns]

Wrong font, wrong dates, wrong number of acts per day. Yet people won't stop using the damn thing.

[nick5745]

Wrong font, wrong dates, wrong number of acts per day. Yet people won't stop using the damn thing.

provide a better template or shut the fuck up

also...why are you demanding a legitimate looking one when this is a FAKE poster thread? jesus christ just let people have their fun

[VOLVOX17]

provide a better template or shut the fuck up

also...why are you demanding a legitimate looking one when this is a FAKE poster thread? jesus christ just let people have their fun

HEAR HEAR!!!!!

[travelfan]

To make a (semi) realistic poster...

1. Download a free graphic design program, I used Gimp.
2. Drop a Coachella poster of your choice into the program. Use the paint brush to brush out all text, and if the poster is multi-colored (like 2012), use a gradient brush and go line by line, selecting colors that are in the back of each line of font. It might look a little janky, but when you put text over it you won't really notice.
3. Bring the poster into iPhoto. Change the tone, exposure, etc. of the blank poster until you get the color and vibe you are looking for.
4. Next, use Word. Drop the edited photo in, and use WordArt boxes to write text on top of the Coachella photo. Use the Eurostile font, play with different sizes for different billed names, and use the "circle" from Symbols to make the dot between names.

There you have it. Took me only a couple hours over a week to make mine, and I had never used a graphic design program before so most of that time was spent figuring out how to do certain things. If you have, it should be child's play. I was surprised how simple it was.