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Thread: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

  1. #1
    old school travelfan's Avatar
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    Default 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    It has begun. Really? Whatever, let us begin another year of discussing poor billing decisions, practicing our shocked faces for when Daft Punk is on the real lineup, and pointing out how they spelled Armin van Buuren's name wrong.

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  2. #2
    Member Larry Farnsworth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    Quote Originally Posted by baily View Post
    Eat a dick on that or did I make too much sense for your mind to take

  3. #3
    old school travelfan's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth View Post
    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    You might want to remove this one before all the purists freak out.

    On another note, whoever made this one clearly scanned the board because it's pretty much whatever acts were on the first page of the Rumors forum this past week.

    Also, this is from the Monklish blog comments. Fight me.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Argh. To much pop.

  5. #5
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    if the real one even resembled that a little bit i'd sell my tickets in an instant.

    May 15-17 - Psycho California
    June 6 - The Rolling Stones
    June 10 - Melvins
    June 20 - Blur
    June 24-28 - Glastonbury
    July 18 - Death Grips?
    July 26 - Faith No More
    September 25 - Kraftwerk

  6. #6
    old school casey's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    I love fake poster time. Everyone gets so up in arms.
    Quote Originally Posted by Newro7ic View Post
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    my name is casey. i love pavement and i want to pet every dog in the world.

  7. #7
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth View Post
    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    I guess it is possible for the Sahara lineup to be as embarrassing as this year's was. Yikes.

    So much rubbish, but there's enough worth seeing to make me consider it. If Lush did another show somewhere doable, I'd just go to that instead.
    4/8 Ride @ The Roxy, 4/10 St. Vincent @ The Cosmopolitan, 4/14 Barry Manilow @ Staples Center, 5/2 Desert Daze, 5/8-10 Levitation, 5/16 The Juan Maclean @ The Regent, 6/10 Emmy the Great @ Hotel Cafe, 6/12 Emmy the Great @ Hotel Utah

  8. #8

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Personally, I share the sentiments of some. The lineup has few and far between acts that excite. The color is nice though...
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Shut it down.

  9. #9
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth View Post
    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    You remove Sasha and Digweed from that list, sir.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    LOL to Kool Keith being that high!

  11. #11
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    That's what I was thinking^^
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  12. #12
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    I wonder what Ivy has to say to Ben Folds Five being on the fourth line...
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Under closer inspection, there's quite a lot I would want to see. But of those 40 acts, only a few would generate any true excitement. Enough for me to attend, but I would opt for a European festival and a solo Lush show if that was doable.
    4/8 Ride @ The Roxy, 4/10 St. Vincent @ The Cosmopolitan, 4/14 Barry Manilow @ Staples Center, 5/2 Desert Daze, 5/8-10 Levitation, 5/16 The Juan Maclean @ The Regent, 6/10 Emmy the Great @ Hotel Cafe, 6/12 Emmy the Great @ Hotel Utah

  14. #14
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Boourns View Post
    Under closer inspection, there's quite a lot I would want to see. But of those 40 acts, only a few would generate any true excitement. Enough for me to attend, but I would opt for a European festival and a solo Lush show if that was doable.

    Yeah there are a few gut-wrenching names on there, but in between those, I found a lot that I would definitely see. I am just a short drive up I-10 though, so I would hold on to my pass for sure for this.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  15. #15
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Yeah, total gut-wrenching face-palmers.

    I have a policy to not attend an event that features the black keys or skrillex. Almost broke it this year for pulp, and the combination of lush/daft punk/bat for lashes/mono would probably get me there.
    4/8 Ride @ The Roxy, 4/10 St. Vincent @ The Cosmopolitan, 4/14 Barry Manilow @ Staples Center, 5/2 Desert Daze, 5/8-10 Levitation, 5/16 The Juan Maclean @ The Regent, 6/10 Emmy the Great @ Hotel Cafe, 6/12 Emmy the Great @ Hotel Utah

  16. #16
    old school citizenerased's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Danger would not be that high but I wouldn't mind.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    This is fairly reasonable. Headliners include a mega-superstar who may or may not “fit” Coachella, a rare act everyone’s wanted for years, and someone on Friday who lots of people will call a lazy booking. Undercard has 2-3 rare acts/reunions per day, lots of indie rock, lots of repeat performers, and a Sahara lineup everyone will hate.

    I guess I would be happy with this lineup. Not thrilled, but there’s enough worth seeing to make it worth the money and trip to the desert.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    I don't see Goldenvoice stooping that low and booking... Beyonce.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    I don't see Goldenvoice stooping that low and booking... Beyonce.
    She has headlined Glastonbury already so it's not really stooping low at all. I mean, it's not Incubus low...
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  20. #20
    Member Larry Farnsworth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by travelfan View Post
    You might want to remove this one before all the purists freak out.
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    You remove Sasha and Digweed from that list, sir.
    My only experience with them was Sasha at Bonnaroo in 2006. I wasn't a fan. That said, if they were the "big" EDM name playing after a headliner on Friday night, I wouldn't hate it on the level of all those others. Mea culpa.

    Is there a fake poster generator somewhere?
    Quote Originally Posted by baily View Post
    Eat a dick on that or did I make too much sense for your mind to take

  21. #21
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    i'm too lazy to look, but yeah there's one in the 2012 poster thread.

    May 15-17 - Psycho California
    June 6 - The Rolling Stones
    June 10 - Melvins
    June 20 - Blur
    June 24-28 - Glastonbury
    July 18 - Death Grips?
    July 26 - Faith No More
    September 25 - Kraftwerk

  22. #22
    old school theklein25's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Alright true enough. If they book Queens of the Stone Age to go against her then I'm cool with it

  23. #23
    old school travelfan's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Meh, I didn't think this one was that bad, Daft Punk obviously is enough to get me there, and in terms of "life list"/rare acts that people gush over, you've got: Culture Club, Aphex Twin, Lush, The Stone Roses, Fiona Apple, Sasha/Digweed, Pet Shop Boys, Al Green, Ray Davies. And that's from just the top three lines. Awful Sahara. I am praying they at least throw some 2ManyDJs/Boys Noize acts in there, mainstream enough but still good. But let's be real, this is probably close to realistic in terms of the mainstream/Pitchfork/music nerd ratio.

    Cannot wait for the following fake poster cliches:
    1. Overly stacked-chella
    2. LMFAO as a subheadliner-chella
    3. Music purist's wet dream-chella

    Bring 'em on.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Also, of course, #4: Used the wrong font-chella.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    WOOO PET SHOP BOYS

    Oh, wait, this isn't real by a mile. And seriously--too fucking soon for this shit. Cant we just wait until it's a bit closer? At least we can pretend that there's a chance it might be real when the festival is a mere 6 months off versus 10.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
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  26. #26

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    This is way too early, at least last years fake was around november.

  27. #27
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by 808HiLife View Post
    This is way too early, at least last years fake was around november.

    There were loads before that.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    They're fake posters. Who cares?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    And to be fair to fikus, violent strangulation is one of his better qualities.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Being dead is literally the only way anyone on the planet could give less of a shit about you. You look like Farrah Fawcett's melted corpse.

  29. #29
    Coachella Junkie paulb's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Fake poster season is the best part of the year! Right behind the actual lineup being announced.... Who doesnt like daydreaming about seeing Fugazi, The Knife, Daft Punk, Blur all on the same day!?
    Upcoming Shows:
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    Lollapalooza: 8/1 @ Grant Park

  30. #30
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Take away Beyonce and a few others and this is an amazing lineup.

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