i love new york

[mob roulette]

not showboating here, just giving an update.

SIX FUCKING EPISODES AND I STILL HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

ok so it's a competiton but it's like there's no rules. the only criteria is to keep that crazy bitch happy but then she flips out like twice an episode anyway. and they seem to introduce all of these peripheral characters to the show all the time that are incredibly IMPORTANT for exactly five minutes and then they're gone. and then i can't figure out if two of the brothers are actual brothers or just "brothers". and then i can't figure out what the crazy bitchs's mom is doing there in the first place. I'M SORRY MISS JACKSON BUT I AM FOR REEEEEAL! and then are these their real names or what? tango? chance? are these for fucking real? i don't get the premise, i don't get the characters, i rarely have any idea what anybody is even really TALKING about, i just laugh at the random shit that comes out of their mouths.

the point is this. i have rarely, if ever, watched anything this long and still been so unintentionally bewildered and still had such a good fucking time. it's AMAZING. exhibit a:

homeboy just said, "my record label this, my record label that, sometimes i rappa this, sometimes i rappa that"

WHAT? WTF???????? i fucking LOVE this shit. it's CRAAAAZY. crazy stupid too. i almost don't want the explanations of what's what here but please...go ahead.

best show ever for all the wrong reasons? perhaps.

an accidental masterpiece? hells YES.

ok discuss.

(also not a PA or street teaming, btw. just fascinated. also i'm not just sitting in front of the tv all goddamned day, somebody tivo'd them for me. so glad that they did.)

YO. BITCH'S MOM IS BRIBING ONE OF THE DUDES TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW. WITH A FUCKING GOLD CHAIN!!!!! WTF? HAHAHAHAHA.

[J~$$$]

????? I have no clue what this is. Im pulling an Amy on this one.

[jackstraw94086]

that bitch jumped the shark when the white girl spit in her mouth on flavor flav's show.

[Courtney]

I have no idea what you're talking about, which possibly makes this post even more amusing.

[samiksha]

Alright, you asked.

and then i can't figure out if two of the brothers are actual brothers or just "brothers".

they are brothers. they have the same parents.

and then i can't figure out what the crazy bitchs's mom is doing there in the first place.

to give crazy bitch advice to her crazy bitch daughter.

and then are these their real names or what? tango? chance? are these for fucking real?

those aren't their real names. this is something left over from Flavor of Love when he gave those girls names because it was easier to remember "New York" and "Nipples" than to remember their real names.

YO. BITCH'S MOM IS BRIBING ONE OF THE DUDES TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW. WITH A FUCKING GOLD CHAIN!!!!! WTF? HAHAHAHAHA.

i think you're getting confused. the mom offered him $10,000 to leave the show. the chain is what New York gives to the guys she wants to stick around.

are we clear? okay good.

i love this show a lot.

[FakePlasticMe]

Yes, I too have become strangely hypnotized by this phenomenon. I have no idea what is going on. Apparently, New York is a dumb bitch with really fake eyelashes and her mother is some sort of preacher. These ghetto men are competing for her permanent adoration...I don't know. It's almost as horrible as watching the Surreal Life.

[samiksha]

she also has some pretty amazing undergarments. the difference between her tits with and without them is like night and day.

[tricorne]

What channel is this on? I feel like I might be missing some amazing phenomenon that will come up in an obscure pop culture conversation in 20 years.

Or else the opportunity to laugh my ass off. Either or.

[mob roulette]

Yes, I too have become strangely hypnotized by this phenomenon. I have no idea what is going on. Apparently, New York is a dumb bitch with really fake eyelashes and her mother is some sort of preacher. These ghetto men are competing for her permanent adoration...I don't know. It's almost as horrible as watching the Surreal Life.

that's what i mean. the prize is new york? there's no cash or anything involved? if you win, do you get to keep the house or what? i mean, otherwise what's the point? real brothers would have been like "yo, fuck this shit already. let's just tag team her and bounce. i'm hungry yo."

i mean wtf? are they hoping to launch an acting career here or something? i don't get the motivation to compete at all.

[samiksha]

you get to be on TV and you get free booze and you get to fuck off for a few months and if you're lucky you get to bang her at the end.

[samiksha]

ALTHOUGH, i was trying to figure out if she has banged any of these guys already and if so how many is she banging? or has she banged over the season?

[mob roulette]

YEAH. cuz why else would you stay that long? brothers still gotta work. i think one of them said he had a kid so child support to be paid yes? in theory anyway...

no racist jokes please.

[samiksha]

she's gonna pick that guy. the guy with the kid. its almost impossible to predict tho cuz she's so cracked out.

[mjanosik]

the show is complete ass

[psychic friend]

anyone gonna watch the "flavor of love girls go to charm school"? that shitty looks crazier than I lOve New York

[SubBass49]

ugh...all these shows make me want to vomit...it's like you can actually WITNESS the de-evolution of humanity in a single episode...

To me it's like Jerry Springer's show & Judge Joe Brown had an illegitimate love child that smoked crack and was a gold digger.

[bballarl]

I love I Love New York. It's a trainwreck. That is what this shit is good for.

[CheersDarlin]

Did someone win yet?

[mob roulette]

i don't get HOW you win is the problem. you get to be in a permanent relationship with her? some prize.

[samiksha]

anyone gonna watch the "flavor of love girls go to charm school"? that shitty looks crazier than I lOve New York

i'm confused about how that show will operate. i always assumed the girls on flavor of love were acting a lot more crazy and bitchy and violent than they really are and might actually be semi normal in real life. so it doesnt seem like a real challenge for them to act like decent human beings. also, you wait air time of course, so you're gonna act like a crazy bitch, but if you act TOO crazy it'll get your ass kicked off the show.

[SojuGorae]

You're analyzing too much. Watch, laugh at the circus show, and turn off the tv is what they're going for.

[full on idle]

This thread puts me back on team Mob Roullette.

[BklynBomb]

that bitch jumped the shark when the white girl spit in her mouth on flavor flav's show.

that was probably one of my favorite scenes in recent reality slop tv history. nuttin beats those slo-mo shots LMAO

[mob roulette]

new york i love you_lcd soundystem (flav's catch a brick ho remix)

hot to death yo.

[starbright777]

This show will end when NY finds Jesus

[SojuGorae]

This show will end when NY finds Jesus

I want to be saved and find Jesus too.

[roberto73]

This show will end when NY finds Jesus

I wonder if she's checked under the couch cushions yet. That's where my sunglasses were yesterday.

[tricorne]

This show will end when NY finds Jesus

Spin off?

[samiksha]

she reminds me of a some sort of combination of lamb chop and miss piggy

[mob roulette]

she reminds me of a some sort of combination of lamb chop and miss piggy

good call. she bleats like a goddamned BILLY goat too. i think you're onto something here.