I spend my free time usually at home, with a friend at a restaurant/bar, at school or at concerts.
eventually, you'll get one of these:
I wouldn't say the quality of matches has been any higher, but my views shot up a bunch when I first got the email (back in December). I checked with my girlfriends, and every single one of us received this, so I think it's a way of keeping girls coming back to the site, haha.We just detected that you're now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.
We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it's working!
To celebrate, we've adjusted your OkCupid experience:
You'll see more attractive people in your match results.
This won't affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But we'll recommend more attractive people to you. You'll also appear more often to other attractive people.
Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don't let this go to your head.
Hahaaa. That's amazing. Flattery will get you everywhere, internet.
The Alberta government recently started an STI awareness campaign entitled "plentyofsyph.com." It's pretty hilarious. Also we have, apparently, the highest level of STDs and STIs in the country. I myself blame all the seasonal workers in Banff and the rig pigs up in Ft. McMurray. Also, the website plentoffish.com got pretty mad, understandably, with the Alberta government to which Alberta replied, basically, "fuck you."
I really do understand the hesitation to go out with someone you've met at a bar, but I think if realistically your social life is that you go out to a lot of shows, go to bars with friends, etc, then those have to be valid places to look for someone to date. After all, he's going to be interested in the same social activities as you.
This isn't fair, since I've never met you, and perhaps you're very different in person.... but I would guess it's attitude. Please try not to take that as a dig -- I'm not trying to be mean. You come across as... at worst, negative and critical, ... at best.. standoffish. You're a very pretty girl, but I really doubt that you seem approachable at all.But see, the problem is no men want to talk to me. I go out, I see a ton of girls get hit on and talked to. I get nothing. It's depressing as hell. I don't know what's wrong.
Pretty sure it's the winning combo of socially awkward + unattractive.
EDIT: Yeah, I'm not an approachable person. People scare me.
Something I just thought of that I haven't seen anyone bring up is location. I think where you live and where you are dating has a lot to do with how much play you get. For example when I lived in the Bay area Berkeley / San Francisco, I had no problem getting women to go on dates with me. Some of them told me that I was the only guy they met recently who had just the right amount of aggressive pursuit. I wasn't afraid to walk up and talk to them about whatever. This also happened in Seattle. Apparently LA / So Cal guys are more forward than men from other parts of the state or country.This struck me as news because I don't feel I do anything extra for attention. Now that I'm back in LA I approach women the same way I always have and no woman worth while wants to even talk to me.
Behemoth & Cannibal Corpse - Mohawk - 1/30
Eric Prydz - Vulcan Gas Company - 2/14
Austin Psych Fest (Levitation) - 5/8 - 5/10
Havent seen face of Kat. Just hair,body and boots.
Seen pics of the others and not scared away.
They All prob get laid a lot and date a lot.
Kat, I think you're having a hard time understanding that people cannot read your mind and know WHY you seem uncomfortable in social settings. How is a guy supposed to know that your behavior is because you feel insecure and awkward? The vast majority of the times, standoffish body language is going to be interpreted as being uninterested. I am absolutely certain your looks are not the problem.
In all honesty, you can't be self loathing. I know it's difficult coming out of a relationship especially when you have been rejected, but if you don't like yourself you aren't going to get anyone to like you. Pity will garner some attention but eventually people get tired of it and it's probably not what you are really seeking anyways.
The White Stripes 9/18
I'm curious how these profile sites are setup. Someone post a screen shot of theirs already. You can even hide all the info, I just kinda want to fill one out.
Kat, I think most women are pretty hard on themselves at some level or another, whether or not they reveal that to the outside world.
If I honestly evaluate myself, I think I'm pretty but I don't think I'm going to be walking down the Victoria's Secret catwalk anytime soon. I think I have great cheekbones and great boobs and most importantly am super awesome on the inside, but I also think that I could stand to lose quite a bit of weight and could probably also work on being more socially outgoing.
But really, I think all of the above is probably secondary to whether I am putting out a happy, approachable vibe when I meet people.
I just don't like the idea of leading someone on for love when I don't feel it in my heart as something permanent. I'm also focused on getting my career moving so I can support a wifey and kids. I'd rather buy a house in LA right now rather than focus on the final lady.
So I recently rejoined OKc and it seems the selectiOn of women is better, but the same things happen. I send a witty, articulate message. I let them know what I enjoyed about their profile, interest and comment on their writing style. I leave questions that pertain to interest and pick at their brains a bit. No messages back. Only photos I have up are of me on set witha funny taxidermied prop and the pic I posted of me on the toilet naked reading a vice (it's in the nude pic thread). I hate how many girls put up their Headshots. They are bad Headshots too. Alot of women in online dating seem to want a dark tall man who is at least 6'. Being 5'8 I am "too short" for most women of the Internet.
I'll keep up the profile for another month or two, I leave information on it so that a smart gal can learn more about me. Basically require her to read my shit. I dont state anymore that I'm a huge weed smoker, but inh questions for okcupid, it's pretty obvious of my stance on drugs.
Now gentlemen of average/slim/fit/athletic size - do you have overweight gals as the only ones who are down to meet hit you up?! I seem to always get bombarded by the girls who just aren't in my preferred size range barking up my tree. This also happens in bars. I've got no problem with being friends with em, but not boyfriend/girlfriend. I always think of the nursery rhyme "Jack Sprat would eat no fat, his wife would eat no lean"
I still want to carry my gal to bed when she's passed out cold, not try and pull her up comedically.
I've met people off the Internet for a few years, one of my best friends today randomly messaged me on aim ten years ago because we both enjoyed MSI. So I'm not afraid to meet folks off the net, but ive determined fromy experiences that as weird as I think I am at times. The Internet contains far more bizarre beings.
Another gal I dated off of CL (yes CL) started off as "strictly platonic" and we smoked and hung out together, then she came onto me & no single 25 YO guy really says no to a girl who is attractive and wants to be friends with benefits. Then after a month she made it clear she wanted me for herself. Then why start off saying we are friends w/ benefits? She also wouldn't shave her Boosh. Sorry girls, I can't go downtown in the jungle for life.
I'm Hoping this latest round of ok Cupid fairs off well. It's very hard finding someone on your level in LA who can keep up with their own lives and yours as well.
All this bein said, I think we all want what you want Courtney. The initial physical, mental & lifestyle requirements seem to cock block us all.
Watch how easy this is.
Mugwog- your sexy as fuck and I like your style. Can we date and see where it goes?
I definitely think similarities in music taste have an effect on the success of a relationship. Going to shows together and discovering and recommending music together becomes part of your growing relationship. It's also a matter of whether or not you're comfortable with that person to be yourself and display the best of your personality. If you're hiding who you truly are or love about yourself with someone, the battle is already lost. And that is my success, I never have to hide or be anything I don't want to be happy in my relationship. And since some of you know me I'll stop here ;-)
Random list of shows I'll never remember to edit
Mugwog, demonstrating first hand exactly why the guys on online dating sites are awful.
Politics. How important to you is a similar view?
Everyone keeps mentioning body language. I mean, I dunno how to know what it is I'm doing exactly that people are misinterpreting? Maybe someone needs to do a PI-type investigation and watch me in a social setting and then sit me down the next day and tell me everything I did wrong. Sigh
EDIT EDIT: A few people on this board have met me in person. I'm not a horrible human being, and when I'm comfortable with a person, I will be the most loyal and giving friend you'll have. I give myself up to people too easily once I know they're not going to fuck me over. For whatever reason though, strangers scare the living fuck out of me. I feel like every new person I meet is running through an inner monologue in their heads that goes something like, "Oh my god, who is this weird awkward girl? And why is she so ugly? I wish she would stop talking to me. Ugh, she is so weird."
Last edited by kitt kat; 02-06-2012 at 03:24 PM.