I miss your friendship *** -- you were such a fascinatingly kind person. I liked you on so many levels that you probably never knew because of that alone. I haven't been able to meet many people since I've moved here. And even though you probably feel like you couldn't face me after disappearing, I would very much like to be your friend someday.
Dating is messy. I got hurt. You probably did too. It happens. I wanted to be angry at you. But I'm really not. I forgave you when I sent your birthday present. What can I say I'm a stupidly forgiving soul. Damn brain chemicals and the bullshit feelings they create.
But seriously, this is silly. I'm a good person. And so are you. And you don't want to date me. I'm very ok with that. There's no reason to block me or shut me out. I mean, unless I did something really stupid? Trust me, I'm wracked my brain for weeks trying to fill in the blanks. And the more I've thought about it, I found nothing. I did learn a lot from you and this experience. And I'm betting you learned a lot from me. If anything, I hope I helped you get your groove back a bit. You had a bum wing and needed a pick me up. I'm actually kind of honored and proud you picked me to be your first partner after such a long period of self-imposed celibacy. It does reaffirm my awesome oddly.
So I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. Because, I would very much like you in my life as a friend. I don't know how to convey my raw honesty about this, but it's true. I don't think I'd be able to hang out or whatever just yet, but it would be great to know you don't hate me or whatever. And it would be way cool to have a movie going buddy. Or someone to check out cool art with in the future.
Besides, I really want to pick your brain about dog adoption. And I have so many questions about insects. I actually wrote a list!
Like can any of them see in infrared? Or what's the average life span of a cockroach. And what's the latest belief on the sentience of ants and colonies. And do any insects live completely underwater? This is the stuff I think about!
So, unless I did something really stupid and I'm clueless about it, and you noped me out of your life for good because of it, I hope you'll consider it. Or at least tell me to fuck off or at least tell me what stupid shit I did, as I'm not a fan of doing things that hurt people -- and ultimately, come on, I don't deserve to be vanished on, you know that. And frankly, it would make me very happy to have you 100% completely as a platonic friend and nothing more. Like stone cold seriously. No cuddles. Nothing remotely line blurring. I can't let you in that far again.
We can even swear a pact of secrecy about our prior shenanigans and pretend it never happened.
So what do you say? All is forgiven, fresh start, just friends?
I mean, that's like way better than having to live with all that past messiness anyway.
And I predict in 3, 2, 1... you'll block me. But jeezus lizard, wtf ***, I want to believe you are better than that ... namely because doing this kind of stuff is shitty and it makes you into the person who did all that unfair yelling at you as a child -- it makes you mean and abusive. And that's not ok. Sorry, but that's what a friend would tell you. And that's what I want to be to you.