It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[Courtney]

This is where you can talk about the sort of scary crazy people you meet while online dating or otherwise attempting to break out of singledom. And those of you who are happily in relationships can post about your relationships too. I suppose. As long as you don't gloat about it too much. Because then I might punch you.

[Courtney]

I recently joined an online dating site. I get around 5-10 messages per day, but it's very rare that it's actually something I am interested in responding to. It tends to break down into one or more of four categories, with quite a bit of overlap:

(1) Men whose primary profile photo is shirtless or otherwise douchey
(2) Men who write very short messages with very poor grammar and no attempt at personalization
(3) Men who attempt to elicit a response through shock value
(4) Men who are just fucking insane

I'm wondering if I attract these lovely specimens of humanity particularly through some strange honing beacon, or if this is in fact a representative cross-section of the online dating public.

[GuyInTucson]

So you're saying the internet hasn't changed much over the past decade when it comes to dating?

[nathanfairchild]

Men on dating sites will almost always be creepy.

[icedKeg]

I got a girl who lives with me
I got a girl she smells so sweetly

[Courtney]

My logic is that I am awesome and not creepy and am on a dating site, so it is possible that there is at least one or two others out there with similar attributes. But I am starting to think that I would do better to just stake out the local university bookstore for hours on end in a search of dates.

[locachica73]

Courtney, I think that is just the majority of guys on dating sites. I ran into that same issue. I even put specific requirements into my profile of what not to do when contacting me. I felt like I was being super bitchy about it, that it would scare guys off, but it actually worked for the most part. There were still the few that just messaged without reading the profile but then I didn't feel so bad about not contacting them in return.

[Courtney]

I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

[GuyInTucson]

My logic is that I am awesome and not creepy and am on a dating site, so it is possible that there is at least one or two others out there with similar attributes. But I am starting to think that I would do better to just stake out the local university bookstore for hours on end in a search of dates.

You'll find more "normal" individuals than you would have 10-15 years ago. Internet dating is much more common than it used to be. You may encounter your fair share of lunatics, but I think your chances of finding someone worthy of a date are pretty good.

[scenicworld]

I actually got a well written, well thought out message from a guy that doesn't come across as creepy or pervy on OKC last night. He even had a shirt on for all of his profile pics. Color me shocked!

[Pixiessp]

I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

[chairmenmeow47]

ha, that's funny. i hate emailing and want to meet as soon as possible. i'm not trying to be fast, i just want to cut to the chase and meet so we can see if we like each other. i hate telling my life story via email. conversation is much more natural.

[Down Rodeo]

I actually got a well written, well thought out message from a guy that doesn't come across as creepy or pervy on OKC last night. He even had a shirt on for all of his profile pics. Color me shocked!

I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

[yardbird]

I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

This is killing me right now.
I've been seeing a girl for a while that is trying to jump straight into a relationship with me. I have to keep my foot on the brakes to slow things down.
She is a sweet girl and very low maintenance but she is in her mid 30s and her clock is ticking. it's basically ruining our simple low maintenance thing we have right now. I want to run for the hills.

[marooko]

have you contacted anyone, or looked for someone to contact?

[chairmenmeow47]

I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

show us your pic.

[marooko]

hahaha.

I'm an absolute square. I'm lucky enough to have been approached, which really makes things easy. With all the shitbags out there, how do you approach a gal in public and have a legitimate chance? So glad I'm not in this boat anymore. I wish you all the best of luck.

[Pixiessp]

Ivy, I can't think of a time where I didn't move fast. Way too fast for the most part. It usually meant I didn't give myself enough time to get to know the person.
I'm trying to change my stripes. Only thing is I seem to be taking it to extremes. I might be dragging out the "get to know you" process a bit too much.

[downingthief]

I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

[nathanfairchild]

I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

have you considered putting this on your profile? most guys would love this.

[chairmenmeow47]

have you considered putting this on your profile? most guys would love this.

obviously not

This is killing me right now.
I've been seeing a girl for a while that is trying to jump straight into a relationship with me. I have to keep my foot on the brakes to slow things down.
She is a sweet girl and very low maintenance but she is in her mid 30s and her clock is ticking. it's basically ruining our simple low maintenance thing we have right now. I want to run for the hills.

[scenicworld]

I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

I see just the opposite. I'm the one that wants to move slowly while the other party wants to hurry up and meet after the initial message.

I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

I replied to his message even though he doesn't immediately come across as my type. My profile is also listed to seek friends, so I always try to reply to messages that seem genuine even if I don't find the guy attractive or if he doesn't appear to be my type.

if you aren't getting replies, I would try asking questions. Guys seem to have lost the art of conversation a while ago and I find many of them are really good at answering questions but never ask anything so the conversation drops off as a result. after you answer her questions or tell her about yourself, as her some questions as an invitation to reply.

[yardbird]

LOL

The problem I am having is she want to jump into a relationship without all the extra perks Courtney listed.
If it was just about "Awesome Sex" and not bugging the shit about each other, I wouldn't have a problem.

[fatbastard]

This thread has major potential.

[zircona1]

Does Internet dating actually work?

I tried eHarmony and match.com years ago and both didn't lead to anything. Which ones do you all recommend?

[HandBanana]

This title could also be for a thread about bating.

[captncrzy]

I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

Q: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?



















































A: A U-haul.

[Pixiessp]

Not this one. Not anymore anyway. Whew!

[chiapet]

5-10 messages per day?! I have felt lucky to get 5-10 messages per week...

So I've had an online dating profile for years, that I never bothered to fill out. I joined to take tests with my friends and also preview the awful girls that my friend gets matched with and then asks out. But a couple of weeks ago, I filled out my profile and now the weird messages have started to come in.

So far, I've gotten about 15 messages. Several of them were so pervy/creepy that I deleted them and blocked them. A couple of them had no real profile and real thought put into their messages ("hi, do you want to get a drink" type messages with nothing else). So I deleted those. I replied to all of the others. Even when I felt they were unattractive, or probably not very interesting to me. We'll see what happens. ALSO, after some encouragement from some boardies, I started sending messages to guys I feel are really attractive and interesting even though they are clearly out of my league. Can't hurt, right? At worst, they'll ignore my messages.

I've decided I'm going to go on dates with anyone who asks and is like... not completely boring or creepy sounding. To the extent that I have time. If a lot of guys ask, I'll have to limit it. I don't think that's going to be a problem. :P

(PS I went on my first online dating date ever on Friday. It was awful and I couldn't wait to get rid of him. But the rest of the dates probably won't be THAT bad.... right?)

[faxman75]

I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

Are you willing to move to Phoenix for about 5 years to do this? Following that, I will consider where you would like to move. I am crazy and creepy but I have a turntable, an apartment that's doubles as a gallery for your profession and hobbies, and also some beer. You can even let me know in advance which magazines you will require and I can get the subscriptions coming in advance of your arrival so you aren't bored when you first get here.

I'm sure the sex will be awesome as well. At least it is when I do it by myself so...i'm fairly confident this would all work. Finally, I do 70-80% of my ranting on facebook so in person, it's much less annoying.