"I can understand people being curious," Gordon says when I ask her about all the attention she’s gotten since the split. "I’m curious myself. What’s going to happen now?"
It’s late afternoon on an unforgivingly cold winter day in New York City. Gordon arrives a few minutes early at Sant Ambroeus, the understated West Village restaurant she chose for our meeting. She’s wearing eyeliner, a black-and-white-striped sweaterdress, and cognac-brown boots. I find myself dissecting her look so I can copy it later; such is the immediacy of her style. It would be rude to say Gordon doesn’t look her age, which is 59. That’s a line reserved for those who are desperately trying to appear young. There is nothing desperate about Kim Gordon. When the subject of dating comes up, I’m not surprised to hear that younger men are vying for her attention, though the couple is not yet divorced.
"We have all these books, records, and art and are getting it all assessed; that’s what is taking so long," she says after ordering a glass of rosť. But both have moved on. Among her suitors are a restaurateur, an architect, and an actor. "It’s just weird," Gordon says of navigating new romance. "I can’t tell what’s normal." And Moore has regularly been seen with the same woman, fueling the rumor that his affair helped doom their marriage. (Thurston Moore declined a request for an interview.) "We seemed to have a normal relationship inside of a crazy world," Gordon says of her marriage. "And in fact, it ended in a kind of normal way—midlife crisis, starstruck woman."
Some years ago, a woman Gordon declines to name became a part of the Sonic Youth world, first as the girlfriend of an erstwhile band member and later as a partner on a literary project with Moore.
Eventually, Gordon discovered a text message and confronted him about having an affair. They went to counseling, but he kept seeing the other woman. "We never got to the point where we could just get rid of her so I could decide what I wanted to do," Gordon says. "Thurston was carrying on this whole double life with her. He was really like a lost soul."
Moore moved out. Gordon stayed home and listened to a lot of hip-hop. "Rap music is really good when you’re traumatized,"