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Thread: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

  1. #211
    LOLocaust Survivor
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Live or Memorex – If a prisoner is Live they have something otherwise they are Memorex and do not.

  2. #212
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    maybe when all of our penpals get out we should have them all come to coachella and take a group picture in front of the Sahara
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  3. #213
    Coachella Junkie M Sparks's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Buck Rogers Time
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Live or Memorex
    Something tells me this prison slang was compiled from the original Scared Straight. Are there any Carter or Saturday Night Fever references?

  4. #214
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    One of my dad old cellmates has the best prison stories, I would say my dad but I always think he's exaggerating . This one time I guess they found out you could smoke ants and get high from it. So they collected a bunch of ants in a paper bag and they took some bible papers so they could roll the ants up into a joint.They were being dumb though because it wasn't the certain type of ant.
    Translation

    Last.fm






    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw94086 View Post
    I want to punch that woman.

  5. #215
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    I'm so torn. On the one hand, I love this and I actually want to follow through. On the other hand, I'm not totally sure I want a shirtless gloved murderer knowing my address.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  6. #216
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    I'm using a P.O. box and a bastardized version of my last name designed to look like a clerical error if the USPS should question the incoming mail against the registration on it for any reason. I've always wanted one, anyway. Now I have an excuse.
    Last edited by Hannahrain; 07-30-2011 at 02:40 PM.

  7. #217
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    my chick has been locked up for so long she wont know how to use the internet. Plus I'm moving in 13 months and she will still be in jail
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  8. #218
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.

  9. #219
    Beefy Soft Taco TommyboyUNM's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I'm so torn. On the one hand, I love this and I actually want to follow through. On the other hand, I'm not totally sure I want a shirtless gloved murderer knowing my address.
    At risk of you not being serious and me ruining the joke, I'm about 99.9999999% sure that they just give the inmates the letter (after reading the letter themselves) without the envelope that has your address.

  10. #220
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    It's a penpal service. You have to give them your address for it to work.

  11. #221
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    I'm not getting a PO box just to write to convicts. Damnit.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  12. #222
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    6) Will the inmate be given my mailing address?

    Because inmates do not have access to the Internet, they must correspond through postal mail and therefore require a physical address. The inmate is given whatever address you provide so he/she can respond to your letter. You do not have to give your address if you are willing to get a P.O. Box. In most cities, P.O. Boxes usually cost approximately $24.00 annually. Also, your local church will almost always let you use their address. Churches tend to be very supportive of inmates maintaining contact with the outside world. Be sure to stop in or give them a call before doing this. When using a P.O. Box or church address, it may be possible to correspond with an inmate using only your first name. Prison policies vary on this, and you would need to contact the prison directly before doing this. Another option is to use your post office's General Delivery service. Please contact your local post office directly for additional information about this service.
    Is there a church nearby?

  13. #223
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Or this:

    General Delivery

    Get your mail even if you’re on the road, new to town, or between permanent addresses.
    Mail addressed to you at General Delivery will be held at the area’s main Post Office for up to 30 days. All you have to do is pick it up.

    General Delivery is a great choice if you don’t have a permanent address.
    People can send you mail by using the town name and ZIP Code™, like this…

    JOHN DOE
    GENERAL DELIVERY
    ANYTOWN NY 12345-9999

    In medium to large cities with multiple ZIP Codes, you’ll want to make sure senders use the ZIP Code for the area’s main Post Office. The ZIP+4 extension 9999 indicates general delivery.

    To find the main Post Office in an area, speak to any Post Office associate or call 1-800-ASK-USPS (1-800-275-8777).

    Once you’re settled, forward your mail to your new address. Just complete and turn in a change of address form or change your address online.
    Though that would require your full legal name.

  14. #224
    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Bobert, meet Jennifer Gray.

    Preposterously attractive, this teenage murderer is eighteen years into a long sentence with potential parole in 2013. Jennifer is smart, devoted, and sincere and loves world cultures, traveling, and adventures of all sorts. She's looking for a lasting friendship with a like-minded, self-assured individual who enjoys a challenge. And also the attractive thing again because. I mean.

    Thnx Hannah!! She's hot.

  15. #225
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.
    ahahah
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  16. #226
    Beefy Soft Taco TommyboyUNM's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I'm not getting a PO box just to write to convicts. Damnit.
    Me either. It seems very unnecessary for the inmates to have your address. I'm disappointed.

  17. #227
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    It's not a personal courier service. It's regular mail. Why the hell would it be handled specially?

  18. #228
    Beefy Soft Taco TommyboyUNM's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Because they're fucking criminals with criminal impulses. It's not unreasonable for people to not want their addresses made known to these people. That's why I thought that maybe someone at the prison would just give the inmate the letter, after the envelope is inspected. I refuse to believe you can just mail something to an inmate without it being inspected first.

  19. #229
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    The prison inspects it, but it's not like we're writing through some sort of giant good-will penpal infrastructure. It's just regular mail. I think the assumption is that people who are uncomfortable will use one of the three alternate methods listed, two of which are free of charge, and people who are uncomfortable and aren't willing to use one of those alternate methods probably don't generally go seeking out incarcerated penpals in the first place.

  20. #230
    Beefy Soft Taco TommyboyUNM's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    It's regular mail. Why the hell would it be handled specially?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    The prison inspects it...
    ....


    I don't know, I'm not even sure what we're arguing. I'm gonna draft a letter, but we'll see about mailing it.

  21. #231
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    I meant differently from the other prison mail, which is inspected and then passed on in full.

  22. #232
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    i thought about doing a PO Box but the chances of me checking it just for this person are very slim.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  23. #233
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post

    Yo, Homie! See? What you guys need here is direction and insight before you run off all willy-nilly looking for new friends to play spell-check with... I'm offering to use me as a guide, God dammit! *lip smack* That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Remember, I've had the fervor before... I haz cage experience! Trust me, while you guys still had that child-like innocence about you, I was hangin' out in the Big House waxing my cell floor with liquid wax and a maxi pad!

    Did you know that if you say " fervor before" 3 times really fast, it sounds like furburger? lol
    Anyway...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Beverly, meet Verlene Pickett.

    Blah blah blah, some words about Verlene.

    The more I study Verlene's features, I've realized that, while she has lips that are better matched to say, a gas pump, the longer you look into her eyes, the more you realize that she probably doesn't take "no" for an answer very well. I mean, for reals, she's been *down since 2003 for Grand Larceny and gets released in November of this year... I'm getting the feeling that perhaps my home-girl, HR is trying to set-up my demise from the board by hooking me up with Verlene, the seed sucker!

    And, here's a tid-bit of slang info... *down: Locked away as punishment while being forced to co-exist in a habitat that is better suited for say, unruly hamsters and street vermin.
    "Who is this doing this synthetic type of Alpha Beta psychedelic funkin'?"
    CHEMICAL BROTHERS




  24. #234
    LOLocaust Survivor
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.

  25. #235
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    what the fuck is wrong with you BD?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  26. #236
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by caco0283 View Post
    what the fuck is wrong with you BD?
    People keep paying attention to her, validating the idea that she has anything worthwhile to contribute to the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  27. #237
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    That last post of hers just crossed the line. I know I'm one to talk but....come on now...FUCK
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  28. #238
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.
    Quote Originally Posted by caco0283 View Post
    what the fuck is wrong with you BD?
    "Who is this doing this synthetic type of Alpha Beta psychedelic funkin'?"
    CHEMICAL BROTHERS




  29. #239
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    Wait...should I be cautious of using my own address if my pal has a life sentence and won't be getting out any time soon? Is the fear that they might have someone else contact you?
    2/21: Weyes Blood, Half Waif, 20 Minute Loop, Young Moon @ Swedish American Hall
    2/22: Uniform, Black Marble, Mall Walk, Blank Square @ Starline Social Club
    2/23: Hot Toddies, Great Apes, Brasil
    2/23: Japanese Breakfast, Miya Folick, Dante Elephante, Flying Circles @ Rickshaw Stop
    2/23: Julien Baker @GAMH
    2/24: OCD, Trash Vampire, Phosphene
    2/24: This Will Destroy You, Emma Ruth Rundle @ The Independent
    2/24: Dr. Rubenstein, Erika, Christina Chatfield @ Monarch

  30. #240
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: HR's Caged Fervorô Prison Penpal Matchmaking Service

    And no, it's not your punctuation. Punctation is the least of your nonsensical awkwardly racist rambling worries.
    2/21: Weyes Blood, Half Waif, 20 Minute Loop, Young Moon @ Swedish American Hall
    2/22: Uniform, Black Marble, Mall Walk, Blank Square @ Starline Social Club
    2/23: Hot Toddies, Great Apes, Brasil
    2/23: Japanese Breakfast, Miya Folick, Dante Elephante, Flying Circles @ Rickshaw Stop
    2/23: Julien Baker @GAMH
    2/24: OCD, Trash Vampire, Phosphene
    2/24: This Will Destroy You, Emma Ruth Rundle @ The Independent
    2/24: Dr. Rubenstein, Erika, Christina Chatfield @ Monarch

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