Page 41 of 85 FirstFirst ... 3637383940414243444546 ... LastLast
Results 1,201 to 1,230 of 2546

Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #1201
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    15,771

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by footixy View Post
    Why don't girls come with manuals nowadays...

    At least a courtesy "welcome to my vagina" email would do
    Girls quit coming with manuals when they realized that all that stimulation was smearing the print off the pages...What good is a manual if you can't learn anything past page 3?
    Anything with E becomes a dance party. My vacuum cleaner becomes a dance party on E
    VIRILE
    Quick question, has anyone else here actually held a fetus? They're not very cute.
    KORY

  2. #1202
    Coachella Junkie stinkbutt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    10,389

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    lick her butthole too Icey
    DREAM BIGGER

  3. #1203
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,039

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    thus spake stinkbutt.

  4. #1204
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    15,771

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    thus spake stinkbutt.
    Tom, is your sex life as archaic as your introduction for Captain Flatulence?
    Anything with E becomes a dance party. My vacuum cleaner becomes a dance party on E
    VIRILE
    Quick question, has anyone else here actually held a fetus? They're not very cute.
    KORY

  5. #1205
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Arizzzona
    Posts
    41,722

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Learn how to use your fingers too, Icey.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    So it turns out Jesus is a LOT like cr***

  6. #1206
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    the Bay Area
    Posts
    12,508

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Icey, going forward, learn how to eat pussy and learn how to do it enthusiastically. Much of it is just reading body language, really. Shouldn't be too difficult. The ladies will appreciate it, though.
    And don't take your cues from porn on how to do it. Don't act like you've been deprived of food for days and all of a sudden a nice sandwich is handed to you to go to town on.

  7. #1207
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    13,994

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    And don't take your cues from porn on how to do it. Don't act like you've been deprived of food for days and all of a sudden a nice sandwich is handed to you to go to town on.
    I was trying to come up with a way to say something like this, but everything I came up with was creating disturbing images.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  8. #1208
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,039

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    Tom, is your sex life as archaic as your introduction for Captain Flatulence?
    Me grab woman hair drag to cave. Me take woman. Unga bunga.

  9. #1209
    Member footixy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Fresh Snow
    Posts
    2,303

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Frat bro style

  10. #1210
    Member LiquidL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    579

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    I can't do the math. How many years?
    That's lame. Why don't you stand up for yourself for a change?
    2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012: II, 2013: I, 2014: I, 2015: I

  11. #1211
    Member LiquidL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    579

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt View Post
    lick her butthole too Icey
    Good advice. Also cream inside her.
    2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012: II, 2013: I, 2014: I, 2015: I

  12. #1212
    old school ocbruin84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,104

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Cologne on your junk: good or bad idea?
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Hey here's an idea. You know those people who are desperately poor, down on their luck, uneducated, abused, and generally ill-equipped for life? Let's make fun of them.

  13. #1213
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    11,892

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by xuclarockerx View Post
    Cologne on your junk: good or bad idea?
    ... Are you fucking serious?

    First, stop wearing Cologne period. Deodorant and that's it. Secondly, spray Cologne on your arm and then lick that spot. Now tell me the answer to your question.

  14. #1214
    old school xanman86's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    4,789

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    (Relevant part happens about a minute in)


    Facebook // Twitter // Blog // Tumblr // Instagram
    Coachella: 04,06,07,09,10,11,12(1&2),13(1&2),14(1&2),15(1&2)
    Upcoming shows
    The Jesus and Mary Chain 5/16, Spoon 5/28, Neutral Milk Hotel 6/1, Sufjan Stevens 6/5&6, Charli XCX & Bleachers 7/23, Death Grips 7/25, Taylor Swift 8/14
    Events
    SDCC 7/9-12/2015, Outside Lands 8/7-9/2015

  15. #1215
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Rustin' in Tustin
    Posts
    22,203

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by xuclarockerx View Post
    Cologne on your junk: good or bad idea?
    Bad idea. If smell is a concern, take a shower!

  16. #1216
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    15,771

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Me grab woman hair drag to cave. Me take woman. Unga bunga.
    Way to get my arrector pili muscles all aroused and then ruining the moment by suggesting unga bunga, Tom.


    Quote Originally Posted by xuclarockerx View Post
    Cologne on your junk: good or bad idea?
    Cologne tastes like shit. Try mouthwash instead.
    Anything with E becomes a dance party. My vacuum cleaner becomes a dance party on E
    VIRILE
    Quick question, has anyone else here actually held a fetus? They're not very cute.
    KORY

  17. #1217
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    A thematic narrative
    Posts
    2,730

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    And don't take your cues from porn on how to do it. Don't act like you've been deprived of food for days and all of a sudden a nice sandwich is handed to you to go to town on.
    Right.

    And when I said "enthusiastically," I meant that they should be aware that you really like doing it.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?

  18. #1218
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,039

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    First, stop wearing Cologne period. Deodorant and that's it.
    Surprising wisdom from a jersey boy.

  19. #1219

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Thanks for all the helpful replies!

  20. #1220
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Citty upon a Hille
    Posts
    15,979

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    In general: keep expectations low, and don't treat it like some extremely emotionally charged life-changing event. It's just sex, and it probably won't be very good.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  21. #1221
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    13,994

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    It will get better though, MUCH BETTER.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  22. #1222
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,039

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Icey, these women are incorrect. Your first time, it probably won't be very good for her. But it's going to be fucking amazing for you. trust me on this.

  23. #1223
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    13,994

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    OK, Tom probably makes a good point, again.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  24. #1224
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Citty upon a Hille
    Posts
    15,979

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah, you'll blow your wad and she'll stifle a sigh.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  25. #1225
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Citty upon a Hille
    Posts
    15,979

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Or not, if she doesn't like you.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  26. #1226
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    nomad's land
    Posts
    10,466

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Yeah, you'll blow your wad and she'll stifle a sigh.
    sounds like time for round 2.

    alternately, a few shots of vodka will help you out in this department.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    If moles had subways, molestation wouldn't be one of the creepiest words there is ....
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Eat don't chat ...When I figure out what windlowless is, I'll respond .
    i hear voices in my head and they keep caaaaallin' me

  27. #1227
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Duluth Minnesota
    Posts
    9,194

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Any way you can do this on http://tinychat.com/coachella
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  28. #1228
    old school ods..'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    5,472

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    american pie style
    5/9 - Suishou No Fune (水晶の舟) - The Empty Gallery - HK
    6/7 - NHK'Koyxeи / Mark Fell - The Empty Gallery - HK

  29. #1229
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    15,771

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Icey, these women are incorrect. Your first time, it probably won't be very good for her. But it's going to be fucking amazing for you. trust me on this.
    I'm thinking that Icey's probably got a shit ton of amazing that he's been hoarding all these years... Maybe take afew minutes before the big event to release some of that amazing on his own in order to avoid...

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Yeah, you'll blow your wad and she'll stifle a sigh.
    Well... THIS...... It happens. Probably more so than any of these guys will admit to around here. And, considering the frustration that all those little sperm have pent up while waiting for IceMan to give it up, I wouldn't be surprised if they were already lined up at the exit ready to bail... Think of it as crowd control.
    Anything with E becomes a dance party. My vacuum cleaner becomes a dance party on E
    VIRILE
    Quick question, has anyone else here actually held a fetus? They're not very cute.
    KORY

  30. #1230

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Oh, don't worry, she has already laughed at me.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 63
    Last Post: 05-03-2013, 05:11 PM
  2. The Coachella Message Board Thread Index Thread
    By SoulDischarge in forum Misc. Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 06-30-2011, 07:35 PM
  3. OFFICIAL "LET'S COMPLAIN ABOUT REPEAT THREADS" THREAD THREAD
    By Dr. Lufs-al-ot in forum Line Up/Artists
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-26-2010, 07:12 PM
  4. The Official "I was in no way affected by the adds thread" thread
    By unknowndrummer66 in forum Line Up/Artists
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-09-2009, 06:15 PM
  5. Replies: 22
    Last Post: 11-05-2008, 09:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •