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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #1111
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Changing gears here, any tips for how to not be completely terrible on one's first time? I mean it's gonna happen anyway, but maybe someone will say something useful. If not, it should still be fun.
    ... Should i even bother?

  2. #1112
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Ask the Cocoa Lounge http://www.cocoalounge.org/

  3. #1113
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Find a corpse to practice on.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  4. #1114
    Member LiquidL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Changing gears here, any tips for how to not be completely terrible on one's first time? I mean it's gonna happen anyway, but maybe someone will say something useful. If not, it should still be fun.
    Make sure you take your chastity belt off so it doesn't get in the way.
    2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012: II, 2013: I, 2014: I, 2015: I

  5. #1115
    old school ocbruin84's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt View Post
    Has any of you guys ever put one of your balls (or both) in a girl's snizz?
    Booyah?
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Hey here's an idea. You know those people who are desperately poor, down on their luck, uneducated, abused, and generally ill-equipped for life? Let's make fun of them.

  6. #1116
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Changing gears here, any tips for how to not be completely terrible on one's first time? I mean it's gonna happen anyway, but maybe someone will say something useful. If not, it should still be fun.

    It's more like art than it is golf. It's also not going to be your call, most likely, so no need to make a plan.

  7. #1117
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Cum in her face and then slap her when you're done, tell her the lord is ashamed.

  8. #1118
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Pleeeeease set a stopwatch before insertion and stop it immediately after ejaculation for your first time, Icey. Please, please, please, please, please.
    12/2: Terry Malts @ The Hideout
    12/10: Tama Sumo, Dorisburg, Prins Thomas @ Public Works
    12/11: Moderat @ The Fox Oakland
    12/12: Prism Tats @ Brick and Mortar
    12:17-18: Day for Night
    12/22: Get Real @ The Midway
    1/19: Woods @ Sweetwater Music Hall


    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    God is very clearly a toaster.

  9. #1119

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Pleeeeease set a stopwatch before insertion and stop it immediately after ejaculation for your first time, Icey. Please, please, please, please, please.
    lol. if past history is any indication, I won't finish
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

  10. #1120
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Go bareback raw; you'll finish.

    Also, don't be afraid of lube/spit.

  11. #1121

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    First part's not gonna happen bro
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

  12. #1122
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Icey, they love it when you spontaneously stick it in their ass.

  13. #1123
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    lol. if past history is any indication, I won't finish
    FAKE IT
    12/2: Terry Malts @ The Hideout
    12/10: Tama Sumo, Dorisburg, Prins Thomas @ Public Works
    12/11: Moderat @ The Fox Oakland
    12/12: Prism Tats @ Brick and Mortar
    12:17-18: Day for Night
    12/22: Get Real @ The Midway
    1/19: Woods @ Sweetwater Music Hall


    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    God is very clearly a toaster.

  14. #1124

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by VigoTheCarpathian View Post
    Icey, they love it when you spontaneously stick it in their ass.
    I had a friend do this to his casual fuck buddy once. They had a pretty good thing going for well over a year. After that, they never talked again. Funny story though.
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

  15. #1125
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    First part's not gonna happen bro
    Then it's almost pointless.

  16. #1126
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    First part's not gonna happen bro
    Trust me. That is EXACTLY what you want to happen.

  17. #1127
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Neighborhood Creep View Post
    Then it's almost pointless.
    Like trying to play tennis with the racquet cover still on.

  18. #1128
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah bro.

  19. #1129

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah, I'm not going to ask her to go on birth control before the first time we ever fuck. Not happening.
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

  20. #1130
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ods.. View Post
    Like trying to play tennis with the racquet cover still on.
    It's worth the risk. That wetness... that wetness...

  21. #1131
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    So are you dating someone, or just wishful thinking right now?

  22. #1132
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Yeah, I'm not going to ask her to go on birth control before the first time we ever fuck. Not happening.
    Don't worry, she doesn't want it anymore than you. Tell her to take a plan B the next morning after you hit it again.

  23. #1133

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah I've been seeing someone for about three months.
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

  24. #1134
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Lulululul make her pay for half

    Edit: for plan b

  25. #1135
    old school xanman86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    lol. if past history is any indication, I won't finish
    Not sure if this story has been told already but care to elaborate?

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  26. #1136

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Meaning a HJ or BJ has never made me cum
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

  27. #1137
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I always thought supre was the only virgin on this board

  28. #1138
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Hand jobs aren't real things.

    Practice fucking her mouth.

  29. #1139
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    How do you know she isn't already on birth control?
    12/2: Terry Malts @ The Hideout
    12/10: Tama Sumo, Dorisburg, Prins Thomas @ Public Works
    12/11: Moderat @ The Fox Oakland
    12/12: Prism Tats @ Brick and Mortar
    12:17-18: Day for Night
    12/22: Get Real @ The Midway
    1/19: Woods @ Sweetwater Music Hall


    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    God is very clearly a toaster.

  30. #1140

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Well this has been fun. Onto something new. I'm not going to update you fuckers when it happens.
    [SIZE=2]April 9th - The Residents at the Regent Theater
    April 23rd - Parov Stelar at Club Nokia
    May 2nd - Tortoise at the Teragram Ballroom
    May 6th -*Sunn O)))*at the Regent Theater
    May 7th - Melvins, Melt Banana at the Troubadour
    May 16th - Brötzmann/Adasiewicz/Edwards/Noble at Zebulon
    ATP Iceland, July 1-3, 2016*
    FYF Fest, August 27-28, 2016*/SIZE]

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