What's the consensus on hitting on couples? If you sense there could be interest, do you make the first move or let them? Also, what's the consensus on inconspicuously copping an "accidental" feel in the middle of a sweaty dancefloor if you think the guy next to you is interested? Creepy? Hot? Dangerous?
Damn, is this not the friendliest thread on the board?!
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dustin, I'm an absolute Coachella fanatic (although I'm guessing this doesn't separate me from the crowd here). Went to the very first Coachella in 1999 when I was 18. This'll be my 10th year in attendance (I'm 29 now).
I've been on this board for years, though I've been on the quiet side, and haven't put in the effort to make friends.
In previous years, I've attended Coachella with up to 26 friends. This year, due to the fast sellout and most of my friends being broke-ass mofos, I'm going with 2 people (if you don't count my Mom who's coming for her 4th year - she just LOVES the Scissor Sisters). So I've got a vested interest in making a few friends here before April. So hey everyone, looking forward to getting to know you guys
But on the copping a feel part, thats something ive become a little more tuned to. There have been so many times where I think back in retrospect and realize that YEAH that guy was totally into me. Like I said before, im much more confident than ive ever been in my life but stuff like this still makes me so shy. So many times I wanna be slick and try and make a move but just kinda choke at the last minute. I really need to work on that.
At Sea of Dreams this year I spent most of my time at the Oppulent Temple where the whole dance floor was one big sweaty orgy thanks to all the break beats. But anyone, I noticed this one guy that was super cute and I was totally checking him out. Cut to later on and I find myself in the same open area as him and we're both dancing. Something about the way we were positioned with this space between us, just felt so awkward. This time im really checking him out and he is absolutely not looking at me but I can tell that he is from his peripheral vision. I tell myself "ok, just go with it", and we start dancing slowly getting closer to each other (he's not actually looking at me the whole time remember, which I think threw me off a bit). We finally get to each other and then I kinda choke and dont know what to do! He sticks his ass out just slightly and I start dancing on him for like a second and then he disappears.
Determined, Im going through the crowd and out of nowhere he's right in front of me again. Without thinking I get his attention and this is what REALLY threw me off, the moment I got his attention he looked straight at me in my face for the first time and said "whats up" (but it was all really intense). I choked again and said something stupid like "how are you" (UGH!!!), he replies "Fine" with a smile and leaves into the crowd again.
I see him one more time in the night, I go up to him but this time its awkward because it looks like he's either with people or theres another guy trying to do the same thing. I go up to him and again he sticks his ass out just slightly, we dance for a second and then he disappears again.
There are two morals to this story. Number one is I have to be more dominant sometimes in these situations, I just *know* that if I was more forceful he would have been mine (he totally wanted it. I could tell). Number 2 is LSD really fucks with your head.
/COOL STORY GIRL
On getting felt up by someone youre not into, I feel like the best thing to do is just be nice about it. Like dont be rude or make it weird (unless the gay is an a-hole obviously), this way theres good karma and if the unfortunate situation occurs where you dance on someone that doesnt want it (cant fathom that happening though), they wont make you feel embarrassed about it. Or at least soften the blow.
Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
Re: Threesomes. My gay friends make fun of me for this, but I've never had one. I mean, let's face it. A threesome is... what? 2nd base for most gay men? I'm in my late 20s too. Up until now it's never interested me. Always been more interested in a one-on-one connection, but I have to admit I'm thinking about it a bit these days. Or even more than 3. Ha. If only Grace Jones was playing this year.
Regarding hitting on couples, i would let them make the first move. whenever i've been attracted to a couple, there's always one that i like over the other so i would just rather not go down that route cuz i'd feel like a homewrecker if i tried making the first move.
there are very few couples (friends) that i've known where they is absolutely zero jealously when the play together/play separately, so whenever i've been hit on by a couple i usually feel like they'll end up in a fight or something, so i never close the deal...
Regarding getting hit on when i'm out WITH my BF is a totally different story, lol. we've been hit on a few times when it's obvious we're together and we think it's cute, but the guys are usually more flirty with one or the other. My BF is 100% against ever having a 3-way (I've offered...i'm such a slut...lol), but he does enjoy the flirting.
Now regarding "accidental" gropes on the dancefloor, while it's not my style, i'm not against it. depends on the atmosphere (is everyone hot/sweaty/horny? then yes!), are you in the middle of a douchey str8 crowd? then no.
Crush (& co-worker) walks into work to shop on day off.
Self, once again, freezes around crush and says as little as possible without seeming like an asshole.
Crush continues shopping.
Self has never seen crush outside of work clothes.
Self likes what he sees.
Originally Posted by stinkbutt
I'd be hard pressed to think of any gay couple I know that is monogamous.
I'm probably the most monogamous out of them (Not totally monogamous but I don't look for anything, except during the occasional bear weekend in SF).
I wasn't always like that though. Had some pretty crazy times and hosted a few wild parties back when I was boozing a lot. 3 ways, 4 ways, I-lost-count-how-many-ways.
It was fun (what I remember) and have few regrets in that department, but the boozing started getting in the way. That part I don't miss. Hangovers get so much worse in your 30s and 40s, btw.
Anyone else (besides Sbessiso and Patrick) here into the whole bear/chub scene?
I always see lots of them at Coachella.
Last edited by CrimesceneCookie; 01-30-2011 at 03:38 AM.
This is why we straight people are really upset with the gay community. You all don't realize how lucky you have it. When i was single It was literally like a 1 in 500 chance that we find people who are into threesomes, increases that number and it's like hitting the lotto. For yall it's a Thursday night.
Yeah. That part is a pretty sweet score. Dudes are fucking whores and it's great. Anyone have plans Thursday?
Ive only somewhat recently accepted that my label is (i guess) a bear, but im not about that. Im just a regular gay guy first and foremost and dont identify with a "scene". Maybe thats my problem. Plus I like ALL kinds of guys.
Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
We call those "beartards".
Believe me I have plenty of issues with them as well (most of them might as well be drag queens). I'm not a "bear" nor would I call myself one if I fit the profile, but I still like certain kinds of them.
The bear weekend in SF next month (once you get past the beartards) is pretty fun though... 4 days of partying. Haven't missed one since 1995 and this is the final year of it.
And femme dudes are wonderful to have as girlfriends. I had a few of those back home in Miami and I really miss my circle. We would laugh, pretend we're Beyonce, laugh some more, cuddle but it wouldnt be sexual which I really enjoyed. But yeah, never to date or fuck haha
Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
So... new topic. Thoughts on sexual racism? I get into heated debates with some friends on this one, but I'm kind of shocked at how accepted sexual racism is in our "community". Few phrases make my skin crawl more than "Sorry, no offense, but no blacks/asians/etc" or "It's just a preference". I understand that many boys have grown up in homogenized upper middle class white neighborhoods and up until recently the media's representation of a gay man has been whiter than snow but I just don't understand how anyone can cut himself off from all the beauty in the world and say... Nope! I only do white guys. Open your eyes! Or am I wrong??
Last edited by RageAgainstTheAoki; 01-30-2011 at 01:26 PM.
You can't help whom you're attracted to.
Hang on guys. I'm not saying you have to be into an ugly black dude or a homely South Asian. What I have a problem with is guys who dismiss an entire race of people outright. They literally have an embargo on an entire race. I find that patently offensive. Having a slight preference one way or another is not the same thing.
So this is going to be my very first Coachella!!!! And ya, im stoked beyond belief! Anyway i'm coming down from Vancouver Canada, but i dont really know anyone else who is coming (actually my dad bought our tix - he's kind of a rocker, so its all good) anyway im sure i'll want some time sans family, so i'd love to meet some new peeps down there......you can find me on facebook - McKenzie McMillan in Vancouver Canada
k well hope to see you in april!
I used to not really like asians then I moved out here and Holy Hell It's Asian Twink City!!!! You should see some of the honest-to-god jailbait that rides the bus. wait, what were we talking about again?
Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
Come on. That's a ridiculous argument. Are you suggesting that we're genetically predisposed to only find one particular race attractive in the same way that you and I have our respective sexual orientations?
As I acknowledged, we all have preferences. That's not what I'm talking about. This is about something I see all the time on gay dating/hook-up sites and out in the gayborhoods; an outright dismissal of an entire race of people. Maybe this is different for young gay men. For many of us our sex lives are key parts of our identities. I find these exclusionary behaviors really sad.
I'll admit that "sexual racism" is a potentially inflammatory term but from my perspective this is nothing but closed minded gay men who can't get past their white-washed childhoods and a media (and porn) landscape that tells them white men are the highest form of beauty.
Last edited by RageAgainstTheAoki; 01-30-2011 at 04:26 PM.
I'm amused when I see people apologize for expressing their racial or color preference.
Also, I have never accused any of you of this type of behavior. The majority of guys I've been with have been white and that's partly a product of where I grew up (middle class/upper-middle class San Diego suburbs). How many times do I have to say it? There'a a clear difference between a preference or living in a majority white neighborhood and outright declaring "I will never even consider looking at black/asian/latino guy."
Whatever. I'm clearly whistling in the wind here.
Last edited by RageAgainstTheAoki; 01-30-2011 at 05:54 PM.