i have a smiliar story:
the other day i was in the grocery store, perusing the magazines like i usually do. and i'm just getting into the good part of the new seventeen magazine and this fucking guy bumps into me on accident. i'm standing there like "this fucking guy didn't just bump into me" and then the guy says "hey, sorry for bumping you into you dude." and i'm like "yeah, you're GONNA fucking be sorry, fucking guy. i was just getting to the makeup tips part and you fucking interrupted me." then i assumed my ass kicking crane stance and shouted out "prepare to be attacked, you fucking guy!!" and right as i'm swinging to hit him, the fucking guy cheapshots me out of nowhere and then he does some crazy ass monkey judo move that consisted of him shoving me in the chest and i fall into the magazine rack and tumble to the floor. so i'm sitting on the floor, thinking to myself "man, this guy's probably been trained by a ninja or something!!" but then i think "naw, dax. you're a fucking souljah! get up and wreck this guy's day!!"
so i jump up and i shout "NOW I WILL PUNCH YOU!!" and without warning me, he moves out of the way and i trip on my feet and fall face forward into one of the cakes they had on display. then the guy was all like "look kid, are you done yet?" and i'm like "oh, i'm done alright." (but i wasn't done at all!!! i'm such a trickster!!)
then he started walking away and i grabbed a can of soup and threw it at the back of his head and yelled out "don't fuck with d-tizzle, biyatch!!" and ran away.
i totally fucking pwned that guy