Bro Relativity Theory – The amount of Bros remains constant during the festival but may seem different based on your location. It seemed like they were everywhere on Friday night but not so much for the rest of the festival. So I was thinking the Vampire Weekend and Jay-Z sets that I was at were a magnet for them and made it seem like Coachella was overrun with Bros. Acts on later days like Hot Chip and Devo drew a different segment of the crowd which had relatively less Bros, even though the overall amount at the festival was the same, so it was all relative to my position in the festival. Acts like Coheed and maybe Tiesto (although I would have loved to catch him if not for Devo) drew them away from the rest of the festival.
Law of Douchebag Inertia – Bros at rest tend to stay at rest or passed out, Bros in motion tend to stay in motion shoving and cutting unless an external force is applied to them
Law of Bro Pack Clumping - Every particle of Bro in the universe attracts every other particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of the masses of the Bros/Bimbos and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.