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Thread: Dreams...

  1. #1081
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Cool. Please let me know if I'm ever on your mind a lot, so I can be extra careful.
    Will do Gunz.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  2. #1082
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Cleaning our Harry Potter closet today, I found this old gem from May 25, 1999:

    I'm behind the camera in an interview with the stars of the latest Star Wars movie, but the only person besides George Lucas who I can remember is "the man who plays Jar Jar Binks, Ahmed Best!" And we soon begin to pan across the ridiculously massive line and as we get towards the end of it, I'm coming up behind the people (I'm no longer manning the camera) and whispering things in their ears.
    The whole thing takes place on a stage out in a forest or something, an area with trees, maybe Mt. Lemmon, but it's really isolated from everything else. And it's suddenly turned into a sort of MTV Spring Break type thing, where each contestant is asked to do some sort of goofy act.
    Meanwhile, I'm trying to get some semblance of a "groove" on with a girl but my attention's diverted from that when they start talking about everybody getting naked. Actually, looking at the people's asses, they all have an N, U, D, or E embroidered in white on their ass. They're not all in order (meaning each four people in a row don't spell out N-U-D-E), and the DJ of the event says, "You don't want to grow a crack in your ass too soon after you've gotten married. Let your spouse enjoy it for at least a little while." At this, I begin to fret because I've already got a buttcrack. I'm third in line, right to left, and apparently the letter on your ass determines how much of a crack you've got. And I'm looking at the ass on the first girl in line and she's got either an N or a U, I can't recall, and I'm supposed to go to her apartment with her, it's decided, where she'll take a shower and dry off with a towel and I'll be able to see how much of a crack is on her ass.

    But now as everyone's dispersing, I'm staying with David Spade. We're gonna go to his house and somewhere else on Saturday, but it's Thursday and I say I can't go because I gotta work Saturday afternoon. (In my dreaming mind, I know I'm lying 'cause I don't have the hotel job anymore, thank you very much, Kino.) He then starts mocking me, saying, "Oh, but that's the best part!" in a really whiny voice.
    As we're standing outside of the nice, white two-storey house on a sunny spring day, I ask him what he's gonna have me do, and he replies, "I'm gonna have you stroking your ivory shaft. You'll be flooding your hose." And in my head, I imagine myself masturbating on some anonymous bedroom's bed, and I soon start coming and it's erupting out of my dick like silly string. We then enter the house and go into the bedroom, me and David Spade, and the room belongs to Keanu Reeves, and there's a poster of him up on the wall in a scene from The Matrix. Underneath his figure, there's something like an odometer, counting the money that Keanu's making off the movie, and it's up to $18 million. To make me laugh, D.S. says, imitating Keanu, "All right! $56!!" I chuckle at this as his earnings hit $18.9 million.
    Then D.S. is inside the poster, which is no longer of Keanu in The Matrix nor in 1-D, unrolling drawings and announcing them like Mean Gene Okerlund. I'm supposed to cheer and applaud accordingly. The last one is Cyclops.

    As I look at the shelf on the wall, I see a monster doll, black or brown, that is a Marilyn Manson product, and I know Ian stole it from Bubba. And Ian's on the bed now, not D.S., and we're in his (dark) room, though it also is in his girlfriend's parents' house. We're waiting for her to come in but she breezes past the room to go into her big sister's. Ian, getting impatient and wanting to scare her, leaves the room and hides in a closet in the hall. I then get excited and hide behind a dresser. As soon as Ian's girlfriend enters the room, though, I figure, "What's the point?" and leave my hiding place. She goes to the dresser I was just behind and starts combing her wet hair as she looks in the mirror. I comment on her resemblance to Sarah Polley (in actuality, it's Katie Holmes) and she doubts that. So I go into the hall and look for Ian, asking him, "Have you seen Dawson's Creek?"
    "No."
    "Party of Five?"
    "No."
    How 'bout that movie She's All That?"
    "Yeah."
    "You know that girl in there? Sarah Polley?"
    "Uh-huh."
    "Don't you think she looks like her?" He guesses so as we look at her.

    She's got a tongue ring, with the piercing coming out beneath her jaw. She's working on my tongue ring, but I'm apart from me (she's working on my head, which is detached from my body, even as my body has a head of its own and I'm using it to talk to Ian about some bullshit). Finally, she's done with my tongue ring but she hands me the stud; it's not in the piercing. And there're three pieces of metal in my mouth. When I ask her what they are, she says not to let anything happen to them because they're really important flashlights to install my stud.
    Last edited by Somewhat Damaged; 08-09-2014 at 12:59 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    I was informed yesterday that Devin came into existence when someone dared God to create a gayer, less intimidating Andy Milonakis.

  3. #1083
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Sounds like someone was rather sexually frustrated at the time and questioning their artistic integrity, but the part I find most interesting is all the separation of body and mind. Was 1999 a good year or a bad year?

  4. #1084
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    It was day 20 of me being in a mental hospital, so it was definitely a bad time in a bad year. The drugs they had me on made it impossible to orgasm. I tried jerking off a few times in the 58 days that I was there, even going so far as to spirit away a Rolling Stone with Britney Spears on the cover (who I was not attracted to AT ALL at the time; wasn't till "Toxic" that I thought she was wank material) to try to get some relief, but that was always to no avail.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    I was informed yesterday that Devin came into existence when someone dared God to create a gayer, less intimidating Andy Milonakis.

  5. #1085
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Wait, do you write your dreams down?
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  6. #1086
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    A lot of people do.

  7. #1087
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    A lot of jerkoffs do.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  8. #1088
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Quote Originally Posted by Somewhat Damaged View Post
    It was day 20 of me being in a mental hospital, so it was definitely a bad time in a bad year. The drugs they had me on made it impossible to orgasm. I tried jerking off a few times in the 58 days that I was there, even going so far as to spirit away a Rolling Stone with Britney Spears on the cover (who I was not attracted to AT ALL at the time; wasn't till "Toxic" that I thought she was wank material) to try to get some relief, but that was always to no avail.
    Do you happen to remember the color of socks they gave you?
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  9. #1089
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    I don't typically write my dreams down. At the time, there wasn't a whole helluva lot else to do with my day. Eat, take meds, stare out window, read magazines, group counseling, sleep.

    I don't think they gave me socks, Henry. I recall being given white slippers that were kind of one-size-fits-all but I have big feet so they barely fit and I walked around barefooted most of the time.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    I was informed yesterday that Devin came into existence when someone dared God to create a gayer, less intimidating Andy Milonakis.

  10. #1090
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Did they strip you down and check all your special spots?

  11. #1091
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Thunder only happens when it's raining.

  12. #1092
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?

  13. #1093
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    I don't think you thought that one through, Jen

  14. #1094
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Quote Originally Posted by Somewhat Damaged View Post
    I don't typically write my dreams down. At the time, there wasn't a whole helluva lot else to do with my day. Eat, take meds, stare out window, read magazines, group counseling, sleep.

    I don't think they gave me socks, Henry. I recall being given white slippers that were kind of one-size-fits-all but I have big feet so they barely fit and I walked around barefooted most of the time.
    It's usually white with the blue grips or brown with the darker brown grips.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  15. #1095
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    I dreamt Wednesday night that Oprah Winfrey and I were driving in a black Cadillac thru a hilly back road somewhere in upper state Washington. A song from Lou Rawls was on the stereo. She was driving and I was in the passenger seat. We had just come from a writing workshop that she led. I was one of 12 people in the room. She was explaining how I had no chance at writing since I was a bad reader. We simply carried the conversation from the room, into the car, then up a long driveway into a large home. I asked to use the restroom. She yelled out the directions to the restroom while she went to a different part of the house to change clothes. I walked into a large room with yellow colored tiles on the floor. On the right side of the room was a wall of glass looking out into a forest of trees. On the far left hand of the room was a sunken tub. Straight in front of me was something that looked either like a sink or a urinal. To the right was a similar device. I was not sure which one to use. I walked towards the device on the right, dropped my pants to my knees and started to pee. I was looking outside towards the forest and I could hear that song from Lou Rawls playing throughout the house.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  16. #1096
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    What Rawls song was it?

    You're looking for direction in your professional/artistic endeavors. You may be a bit too dependent on what people think, but the glass wall implies that you're willing to listen to others and won't take things too personally. All the tubs indicate that you have choices.

  17. #1097
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    I did not know the song.

    I also neglected to mention that she said it was OK to take a shower if I wanted.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  18. #1098
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    I had a dream last night that I was being haunted by a creature that looked much like Keith Flint, the lead singer of Prodigy. He/it was called Lehigh Louie. He would take over people’s bodies and make them do terrible things. I would try to warn people, but nobody would listen. I received a wheel game mysteriously, kind of like the one in Life. We discovered that it had powers to protect us based on where the needle landed. Then Lehigh Louie began to take on shapes of demented versions of Alice in Wonderland characters. We had to destroy them before they took over another person’s body. They seemed to be focused on getting to me, and I was struggling to protect myself. I would feel like I was slipping under his power, like I was passing out and would try to wake myself up. I would actually wake up from the dream, relieved that it was over, and then I would slip right back into it again.

    It was terrible.

  19. #1099

    Default Re: Dreams...

    Don't worry, it's only so many chemical reactions in your brain.

  20. #1100

    Default Re: Dreams...

    Someone please quantify the neural code for Keith Flint-Scary Ass Caterpillar please.

  21. #1101

    Default Re: Dreams...


  22. #1102
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    I dreamed the other night that I owned a pitbull that was somewhat accomplished for something and President Bill Clinton wanted to be photographed with it. Not sure what the dog had done to become famous or important but I was happy about it at the photo session. Then it turned out I was famous because I'd invented some sort of tally system where you could earn credits, kind of like air miles, that would further increase your chances of reuniting with a long lost love. The more points you earned, the better chance you would have that the person would want to see you or take you back. Of course during the dream I was convinced it was an invention of pure genius.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  23. #1103
    man-homie obzen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    I keep having these dreams where I show up to the campgrounds Wed/Thurs, all party, yet somehow never manage to realize that I don't have my festival wristbands until Friday.

    lol, wtf.

  24. #1104
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    i have had a fever all week and have had very strange dreams. last night i dreamt that i went to sedona with my ex (who i normally go with), IFA, beyonce, and jay-z, oh, and some worthless friend of theirs. we went camping and most of the camping trip consisted of whose turn it was to take a shower. then we went to brunch at this fancy pants place my ex and i went to once. but the worthless friend wanted to leave. so everyone but jay-z and i went to the car. he had a bloody mary and we discussed the pitfalls and highlights of coachella 2010.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  25. #1105

    Default Re: Dreams...

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i have had a fever all week and have had very strange dreams. last night i dreamt that i went to sedona with my ex (who i normally go with), IFA, beyonce, and jay-z, oh, and some worthless friend of theirs. we went camping and most of the camping trip consisted of whose turn it was to take a shower. then we went to brunch at this fancy pants place my ex and i went to once. but the worthless friend wanted to leave. so everyone but jay-z and i went to the car. he had a bloody mary and we discussed the pitfalls and highlights of coachella 2010.
    So unlikely to ever happen, I mean... Jay is totally a mimosa guy....

  26. #1106
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    I dreamed last night I was stranded in Las Vegas with no way to get home and was worried about missing work and losing my job. This was a really unpleasant dream but somehow I knew I was dreaming, so I asked a passerby in my dream to shoot me, so I could wake up. It worked.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  27. #1107
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    I keep having sex dreams about Jack White. But even in the dreams I'm just longing for him and not getting any action. They're more like anxiety dreams.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    So it turns out Jesus is a LOT like cr***

  28. #1108
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    Ladies, I can only help you so much.

  29. #1109
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    I had a dream that someone sold me their Coachella ticket for $100, so I was going through the process of trying to find Coachella clothes, packing my bags, and making the trek to Indio. When I got there it was early, and there were few people around, but the fields had changed, it was a shopping mall with a shitty food court.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  30. #1110
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dreams...

    I think we all know what that means.

    I had a zombie apocalypse dream that scared me so badly that I woke up. I was at the house I grew up in with a group of people (my kids? friends?), and we were trying to remain inconspicuous inside my house. I think we had a couple pets outside, like my childlhood dog and my pet pig. There was a car in the garage, and we were going to venture outside to take my kids to school (??!) or to go find some food at the store, but we were scared of all the zombies wandering around. Somehow we ended up at a multi-story office building with big cube-farms inside and people working. At one point some people were fired and tried to go out one unfortunate door where a lot of zombies were gathered, and so there was a breach at that entrance and zombies got inside, so there was a panic and people stampeded everywhere, and that's when I woke up.
    Quote Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven View Post
    So it turns out Jesus is a LOT like cr***

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