The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[malcolmjamalawesome]

I'll start. This one's annoying because it's one of those really vague ones that's really overdramatic.

"_______ thinks it's sad when people are wreckless with something so fragile..."

Spelling errors included.

P.S. boo fucking hoo.

[obzen]

Analytical disparagment,excellent.

[Gribbz]

"congratulations bob ralston, you cited a UN treaty. but guess what? we dont have a global government, and if the U.S. decides to be the only defender of capitalism then I say screw the rest of the world cuz we already live better than they do and we ...got there by doing what we're doing and they got where they are through socialism. just because the rest of the world governments want to be unrealistic and naive doesnt mean the U.S. has to follow in their self-destructive footsteps"
...

[Still-ill]

"ummmmmmmmm i need to go running now but im super tireeeeeeeeeeeed"

"...i don't know. i'm making this up as i go."

Neither One of these hold any meaning.

[rage patton]

"everyone else knew..why didnt I? some things just blind you and no matter how genuine, sincere, or caring you are, you still dont get the respect you deserve"

How are you even supposed to respond to that?

[BlackSwan]

lolcat?

[menikmati]

"I am, therefore I know... I know, therefore I smile!"

"Holy purple pretty panties Batman!"

"Many of the greatest discoveries of our times will be made by those who, in addition to listening to their hearts and to each other, listen to the rest of the kingdom of life; to the trees, birds, insects, fishes, worms, algae; to the oceans and ...forests and mountains and deserts and skies; to all consciousness that dwells on this planet; to all of life, not man’s fragmentary awareness alone."

"true blood is ON!"

[Boourns]

"God is not a microwave, be patient and listen with both ears and an open heart."

[anti-square]

"Always remember the compliments you receive...FORGET the rude remarks!!"

"I need to go buy a DVD holder mine is just WAY TO SMALL now!"

[SoulDischarge]

God is very clearly a toaster.

[kitt kat]

"God is not a microwave, be patient and listen with both ears and an open heart."

DOES NOT COMPUTE

[Boourns]

God is very clearly a toaster.

"That word is racist! I don't like it!"

[airguitarvet]

____________...I can't believe I ate a whole roasted pig and you weren't there to join me.

[RotationSlimWang]

Great idea for a thread. I'm going to use this primarily to post the annoying updates of people from this board.

[humanoid]

I've hidden so many of my Facebook "friends" because I cannot stand the useless shit that so many of them post on a constant basis...I'm not even sure why I use it

[M Sparks]

I find them kind of fascinating/poetic

wishes there was tequila flavored Nyquil.

does water aerobics in his apartment complex pool just like he was a grandma. Got a problem with that, mofo?

mpoudfakenponmdfgaklfgna;lkn NPAIEJRAIODNFGALTRHOAIDNGLA dkta;ogin ACK! ACK! ACK!

has been short-listed for the Unemployment Prize.

rest in peace, Grand Master Roc Raida. the original beat juggling ninja. you're an icon and an inspiration. (this is a Boardie)

Having lunch at George Washington's House with over 15 ladies, what should I wear? (SO many questions here...)

Come join me in Flagstaff. I wanna be your limousine. Let's dance. (another Boardie)

T Sparks: Have I ever told everyone I know on Facebook how awesome my husband is? Yes i'm bragging. Deal with it. (Sounds like a lucky gal)

has rendered his legs unusable

the crib tent will be here in 3 days....Can't I just weld something to keep him in?

finds it sad that Myspace keeps emailing him to remind him that it exists.

lost some respect for Diablo Cody after watching "Jennifer's Body." ... Don't get him wrong, he'd still bang her

Anyone want a baby? Ours is broke!

's cat has bad manners.

I actually befriended a goose.

is one step closer to his dream of becoming a big, strong black man.

[sbessiso]

Time for some CSi Miami! Den Bed tiMe! G'Nite erry1

[rskapcat]

the crib tent will be here in 3 days....Can't I just weld something to keep him in?

^This makes me want to be friends with this person.

One of my friends likes to announce that she is going to bed. Every night. She also likes to post thinly-veiled perv messages to her boyfriend as her status. It's great that she's getting laid on a regular basis...but wall posts exist for a reason.

I deleted a friend's husband because every status update was similar to Gribble's "friend" up there.

[marooko]

I don't know if I'm glad I don't use it, or if I wanna add as many of you and your friends as I can, so I can read more of this crap.

[sbessiso]

"everyone else knew..why didnt I? some things just blind you and no matter how genuine, sincere, or caring you are, you still dont get the respect you deserve"

How are you even supposed to respond to that?

These are always the goddamn worst. The "oh woe is me. pity me. my life sucks. no one loves me. blah blah blah" type of status updates.

Thank the lord for the HIDE feature

[roberto73]

Status updates don't usually bother me. What I've been doing lately, though, is dropping any of my friends who only (or primarily) post quizzes. This is actually turning out to be a decent barometer of how I feel about people. If you post a quiz and I don't immediately drop you from my friends list, it means I actually like you.

[rskapcat]

Ugh...I forgot about another friend who has ceased posting original thoughts. EVERY status update is some inspirational quote. Vomit. It's all the more frustrating because this girl is so snarky & funny, yet she regurgitates "you can do it" slop.

[captncrzy]

"so and so is" ...

I fucking hate that.

[TomAz]

"Many of the greatest discoveries of our times will be made by those who, in addition to listening to their hearts and to each other, listen to the rest of the kingdom of life; to the trees, birds, insects, fishes, worms, algae; to the oceans and ...forests and mountains and deserts and skies; to all consciousness that dwells on this planet; to all of life, not man’s fragmentary awareness alone."

My favorite. Listen to the worms! Listen to the algae!

[SoulDischarge]

The algae sounds like a Kenny G. sax solo. No thanks, algae.

[rage patton]

I thought Kenny G. just played the flute. Shows what I know.

[MissingPerson]

I actually befriended a goose.

I like this a lot.

[luckyface]

Damn, I had a friend from college who turned into a religious nut. She had been posting all of these rah rah God posts. Like really absurd ones. It is like she knew this thread existed and I was about to post them all, because she just deleted her account a couple of days ago.

[justinaqui]

If it's a status update on Facebook, isn't in inherently stupid and meaningless? I don't use the service, so I could be wrong.

[MissingPerson]

Damn, I had a friend from college who turned into a religious nut. She had been posting all of these rah rah God posts. Like really absurd ones. It is like she knew this thread existed and I was about to post them all, because she just deleted her account a couple of days ago.

On the other hand, it could mean that the end is near and she's in on it.

Just something to consider.