As some of you are well aware, Rick (Somewhat Damaged) and I are getting married on November 5, 2010. Neither of us is religious; we want a simple, personal and quick ceremony. However, most of the officiants in our area either only seem to do religious ceremonies or look like douchebags (just do a search on wedding officiants in Phoenix and you’ll see what I mean).
I’ve always thought it would be cool to have someone that knows us (sort of) conduct my wedding ceremony and lead us through our vows. At the same time, I want the people that I’m close with to be guests at our wedding and not have the worry of performing at it. So we figured, why not one of you guys/gals? Better someone we’ve probably gotten into an internet fight with than some bible-banger stranger that does it for money. And since we need to book an officiant so far in advance, we figured we'd look here first.
- Submit a 1000 word (or less) essay on why you should be the one to perform our wedding ceremony next year. You MUST post this essay on the board for public viewing and scrutiny. The due date is October 31, 2009. We will announce the big winnar by November 15, 2009.
- Be willing to do what is necessary in order to perform and/or certify a wedding ceremony in the state of Arizona (the reason that we’re doing this so early is so you have time to go through the necessary steps with the state and block the date on your calendar). I have no idea what this is (you probably just have to get certified with some internet church) so you’ll have to do your own research as well. We will pay for this.
- Write your own ceremony script and submit for approval by August 1, 2010.
- Get yourself out here and back (if you’re from out of town). If you're coming from far away, I can probably help you out with a standby ticket.
- We need to have met you in person before or be willing to spend a little time with us at the festival this year so we can make sure you’re not an asshole.
This essay contest winner will receive:
- Free food and drinks at the wedding and the opportunity to pal around with some elusive boardies (like suprefan)
- A nice hotel room for the night (if you’re coming from out of town)
- The ability to perform future weddings for fun and profit (you know, since you’ll be certified and all)
If you’re already a known guest (you probably know who you are), you probably won’t qualify unless you make a compelling case. We just want to make sure that our guests are able to have fun with no pressure. Also, please know that our wedding is going to kick freaking ass and you’ll have a good time.
Bye for now.