War. Indifference. Treachery. Solitude. Today we celebrate WITS. And by celebrate, I mean we drink alone and pretend to have some sort of camaraderie with those we know are doing the same. Happy motherfucking WITSday, jerks. WITSlife.
War. Indifference. Treachery. Solitude. Today we celebrate WITS. And by celebrate, I mean we drink alone and pretend to have some sort of camaraderie with those we know are doing the same. Happy motherfucking WITSday, jerks. WITSlife.
You know, at least 50% of the cats you see in lolcats today are likely deceased.
Instead of holding doors for people I am going to turn around and push them closed really fast and ensure that the potential recipient of the door-hold sees my actions.
RAPE STOVE
white power?!
Finally a place for me. Lolrus? Been dead for years now. Glitter will give you cancer. The sun has been trying to kill you since the day you were born.
I am going to call in to talk radio and protest Obama's socialist agenda.
I'm just going to hang out right here and make sure you all feel like shit.
I'm going to continue to exist.
Your cat is only two missed feedings away from turning on you and your dog only loves you because it's codependent and has been bred specifically to ignore how bad you suck.
The adorable photo-whore squirrel was probably run over by a car as I was typing this sentence.
(Though I'm glad I wasn't the driver, because I would've been a sobbing mess. Sorry, kids...I tried.)
I bet half of you have HPV and don't even know it.
I am going to delete all of my friends on Facebook, and send them all messages telling them that they know why I did it, and they should watch their back.
I've got a hell of a fucking headache right now. Maybe I'll die.
Your grandpa was probably a pedophile and would't've hugged you if he hadn't been.
White sugar is processed with the bones of dead things.
Siemens, IBM, Hugo Boss, Volkswagon, and Bayer all really really loved the Nazis.
I have a worse pain than that. I guarantee you.
If I die from this you are going to feel pretty goddamn lousy about that statement.
I already feel pretty goddamn lousy.
Also, my doctor says I should be getting 25 to 30 grams of fiber a day in my diet. Do you know how much fiber that is? that's too much fucking fiber is what it is.
Look who's dead:
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75% of the shit you love and think is so cool is made by a person or group of people who hates you, or would, if they could be bothered to give a shit. Most of you were almost abortions.