MJA, I have a lot of questions for you, but I think I'll just find you in the Sahara when you're rolling hard and ask you strange things.
MJA, do you like my hot titties?
Question you wish you'd been asked?
Achievement you're most proud of?
Alternatively: Keeping my skin looking so great.
Or this: http://www.spin.com/articles/best-wo...apalooza-day-1
Tell me about your least and most favourite schoolteachers.
Leaust favorite: 5th Grade. Used to play football way too competitively with us. Pushed us down. Made fun of us. Would lead receivers too much with his passes and they'd run into brick walls and shit. Choked a kid once. Years letter, saw him selling shoes.
Moust Favourite: The aforementioned one that I made out with. Or the one who "accidentally" let us watch "Excalibur" in 3rd grade and we saw a titty.
Robot arms or gills?
I'll answer the shitting one: The answer is nowhere. My old job I had to drive around all day long so I got pretty accustomed to shitting in public places. In fact, I prefer it because that way I'm not befouling my own home. Here are some of my favorite things about shitting in public places:
When there are two stalls and the other person is shitting and you have an informal contest for who does the loudest shit blast.
When you walk into the bathroom and there's one stall but you don't want to walk directly out so you hang around or even pretend to pee at the urinal until the guy comes out, and wait until after he actually washes his hands and leaves and then you can finally go in there.
When there's no toilet paper and you have to use the brown paper towels.
When there's shit just all over the seat. I mean, what happens there? I really can't see someone just hovering over it and moving enough that they spray shit everywhere. My guess is it's a really fat dude who probably has to wipe his ass with a bath towel anyway so his ass is probably always kind of shitty anyway and when he sits down it just gets all over.
Addendum: Who are you people that don't use Wet Wipes after you shit? It's so illogical. When else do you befoul your skin with something and then just use dry paper to get it off? You need some wet stuff in there to break it down. I implore you, people.
The worst job I ever had was detasselling corn. You were in like, junior high, and you'd get up at 5 in the morning and walk through this wet ass corn all day long and pull the little tassel out of the middle of the stalk and then just throw it on the ground. Up and down corn fields all day fucking long. Pulling out tassels. Throwing them. Sweating. And your balls/crotch would always be really sore from doing all of that walking and being all wet and gross.
"Who is this doing this synthetic type of Alpha Beta psychedelic funkin'?"
(Turn and face the strange) Ch-ch-changes Don't want to be a richer man
(Turn and face the strange) Ch-ch-changes Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me But I can't trace time... RIP: DAVID BOWIE
Thank you, MJA!
I do not understand how Americans (not that I can say that anymore since I became a dual citizen last year) only wipe their tushes with dry toilet paper? I don't care how much fiber you get, this is absolutely gross. You're so right, if you had a smear of No. 2 on any other part of your body you would WASH it off. Also, do you know how hard it is to find an apartment with a pre-installed bidet?
Do you do/say/think anything as a young adult that in your childhood/teen years you swore you would never do? As we creep towards our 30s we, inevitably, it seems, start to turn into our parents. What about you? Any such trend?
A girl was once telling me a story, and she said the worst thing is giving head to a guy who just took a shit and doesn't use wipes. Ever since, I've been comitted to wipes.