I love wine, so you'll often find me with a glass of wine. Right now in the balmy summer days, I love a refreshing Vouvray.
During the summer, I also find it difficult to resist a nice vodka tonic with lots and lots of extra lime.
I have a question for you. Who was that in your old avatar?
All these "most", "best", "perfect" questions are very difficult to answer. I can't say there's just one such experience. But, I'll point to a summer wedding I attended. (I've noticed a lot of my memories are tied to the summer season. Hmmm.)
My dear friend April and I went to the wedding for a high school friend. We knew no one but the bride. The wedding was was on a boat that sailed around SD Bay and the reception and after parties were at the Hard Rock Hotel in downtown SD. The Hardrock is ridiculous; the place just screams "bachelor party". We went in to the wedding knowing no one and left with about a dozen phone numbers in our phones. We met so many lovely people and had so much fun. We made total fools of ourselves, got completely sauced, danced for hours and gabbed and gabbed with the most relaxed, fun, easy-going SD people you could imagine. The food was beautiful and the cake was the best wedding (or any) cake I've ever tasted. And I'm VERY picky about cake. The bride's son (5 years old) is a night owl and spent half the night dancing away with us. The cutest and already the most precocious kid you could imagine. At one point, he took his shirt off in the middle of the floor, pushed on his chest (where he must have imagined he had bosoms) and proceeded to tell the entire dance floor that "I have big ones! Just like grandma."
If that wasn't enough, we ended up going to a late night birthday party for a friend of April's after the wedding. The party was going slowly and everyone was sitting glumly and chatting quietly. We came in with this infectious party sprit and the afterglow of a beautiful wedding and just through sheer infectious joy we transformed the mood of the party and everyone had a marvelous time.
I'm also fairly certain that I lost my dignity with the birthday boy that night. Who knows, I haven't drunk that much in my life. I'm told I had a very pleasant time. It's nothing special or unique, but I remember that one fondly.
I'm not fishing for compliments here, but I don't know that I'm "super talented." I know I have to have some talent; they wouldn't have accepted me if I were devoid of talent. But much more importantly, I have potential and they believe that I will benefit from the vigorous training that Juilliard provides. If I were already the complete "super talented" package, there would be no benefit of me giving up four years of my life to classical training in NY.
Here's how it goes:
- You submit your application.
- You get scheduled for an audition in your nearest audition town along with several hundred other applications. (San Francisco in my case.)
- On the audition day you are asked to perform two monologues -- one classical and one contemporary. If you sing, you're also asked to sing 16 bars of a song. Your auditors are faculty of the Drama Division, the Drama Division Dean and reps of the Admissions Office.
- After the morning auditions, a Callback notice is posted. They tell you right then that if you're not called back, you are not being considered for admission.
- I was called back. I return in the afternoon. This time with the 50 other applicants who have been called back from that morning. We do some group exercises lead by one of the drama division professors while being observed by the faculty, the dean and the admissions team.
- We are asked to rehearse and perform a classical and contemporary scene with one of our fellow applicants. (We're given about 30 minutes to memorize the pieces and to stage them.)
- After this, an updated Callback list is posted. Again, if you're not on the list, you're not being considered for admission.
- This is the final callback of the day. The day starts with several hundred. At this stage, you're down to about 30 applicants.
- What they do with each applicant varies. With me, they interviewed me briefly and then had me perform my contemporary monologue again, but this time they wanted me to perform it as though an alien was growing within my stomach and was struggling to break free.
- With that, they sent me on my way. If you've made it to the evening callback it means you are still being considered for admission.
- About two weeks later, you get a notice telling you if you are still being considered for admission. If you are, your presence is requested in NY.
Final Callbacks in NY
- You fly to NY for the final callbacks. You are in a final group of about 40 applicants being considered for the final 20 slots. Your fellow applicants have auditioned in NY, San Francisco, Chicago or London.
- You then basically spend the entire weekend at Juilliard. 12 hours each day.
- You perform alone, with a partner, in groups.
- You attend mock classes in acting, movement, voice, improvisation, acting for the camera and dramatic literature.
- You attend actual Juilliard classes and interact with current students and faculty.
- You get interviewed (and drilled) by representatives of the Drama Division.
- Everything you do the entire weekend -- even your rehearsals -- are closely observed by professors from the Drama Division, the Drama Division Dean, Admissions Officers and the President of Juilliard.
- Basically, it's acting bootcamp. They put you through the ringer, because they want to make sure they have the right group of 20. It was such an exhausting experience. I'd never wanted anything more in my life and when you've made it to the final stretch, you just don't want to miss out on this opportunity, so you have to eye everyone as your competition while still working well with them in an ensemble of actors. It's intense. I saw grown men break down in tears by the third day.
Acceptance or Rejection:
- After that, it's much more like the regular college application experience. You go home for a few weeks and wait for the mail.
- I got the big fat package with a big fat "Yes." Which was thrilling beyond belief, but there was no way I could afford the $30k+ tuition.
- A week later, I got a smaller pack from Juilliard informing me that I'd been awarded a full scholarship. So, problem solved.
Long answer, but you asked.
"Welcome. Your parents have been waiting for you."
Why, you COCKSUCKER! I spent like the last hour and a half trying to get that inspirational poster made, an hour of which was spent trying to just match and achieve friggin' Barbie's natural plastic skin tone, and you just stumble in here all humble like you are, and nonchalantly tell us about Julliard!
I've come to the conclusion now, that after getting to know you the past few days, that you'd almost be like the perfect guy except...
You're a COCKSUCKER!!!
"Who is this doing this synthetic type of Alpha Beta psychedelic funkin'?"
My old avatar was the singer/ lead guitar player for a band that transformed my way of life: Against Me!.(His name was Tom Gabel) Their old stuff is real folk punk and their new stuff is a little poppy, but regardless, its great music and they used to put on some and the best shows I have ever been to (so far).
did you already say brunette, blond, redhead? if not, which comes first? tee. hee.
it's summer, baby.
I fixed your question for you.
I understand preferences; I do. But I have little tolerance for sexual racism, which is still so prevalent in the gay "community". It kind of sickens me that phrases like "no offense, but no black or Asians" are deemed acceptable by a large number of the gheyz. I also read a study recently which indicated that sexual racism was alive and well amongst heterosexuals as well.
There's love in my heart for all. So my answer is: all of the above.
Okay. Confession time. You'll think I'm being silly here, but I'm dead serious about this. I feel so guilty saying this, but it's true. I have never, ever been attracted to an Aboriginal man from Australia. I've actually met quite a few of them and, naturally, seen images of Aboriginal men in the media. And I think they're all ugly as sin. So, yeah, all of the above --just no Aborigines. God, I'm wracked with guilt on this one.
After you become a famous movie star--because you will become a famous movie star--how are you going to fix your first controversial mess of insulting your large Australian Aboriginal fan-base, who will be your biggest fans until TMZ finds this thread? (Assuming Aborigines watch TMZ.)
Jewface, whats your favorite flavor of Otter Pop?
Your choice of soda pop at a children's birthday party when theres no booze?
Whats the desktop image on your computer?
Boxers or briefs?
What would you name your kids if you had 1 boy and 1 girl?
Years attended: ...'08...'09...'10...'11...'12...'13!!
oh and i forgot to ask...
do you like candy corn?
Years attended: ...'08...'09...'10...'11...'12...'13!!
I though pages on the interwebz disappeared after a year. No..?
I'll organize a massive benefit concert at the Sydney Opera House in honor of the Aboriginese. Kylie and Danni Minogue will headline with appearances by Nick Cave and Dame Edna. Naomi Watts and Cate Blanchett will perform live on stage in an all nude one act adaptation of The Hunger directed by Baz Luhrman and Russell Crowe will walk through the audience randomly selecting racist audience members and punching them in the face with an Australian Teleservices rotray dial telephone. The evening will end with all of the above performers returning to the stage in black face to perform a medley of the Australian national anthem and We Are the World. I'll probably make an appearance and do a soft-shoe number to Color Me Badd's 'I Wanna Sex You Up'.
Problem solved. I should be a publicist.
Jewface seriously wins for Boardie of the year for being such a good sport and quite funny with all these questions. Bravo sir. And I bid you good day.
I'm sorry to have to disappoint you all but I have had to turn down JewFace's offer to take over his reign next week. Yes, I know, it would have been nice to have a genuinely entertaining series of answers for a change. My insincere apologies to you all.
JewFace, if you could change your birthday to a different day which would you pick and why?
What is one question you wish someone would have asked but didnt?
(also, please answer that question)
Last edited by Dr. Lufs-al-ot; 08-14-2009 at 05:25 PM.
Sir Isaac Lime:
Assuming, it's my cleaning lady's kid's birthday party, I'd go with Mexican Coca-Cola. In the glass bottle. Made with cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup:
Or, perhaps it's the Italian neighbors' kid's birthday party. In which case, it will have to be San Pellegrino Limonata (so refreshing!):
Or, maybe it's the Brits next door? Then, I'd go with Schwepp's Bitter Lemon. Not as tart as Limonata. Perfect on a hot summer day:
As I recall (I don't really recall; it was so long ago) she was Joan Collins' arch nemesis and her competition for the attention of men. I thought she was fucking fantastic and even more of a glamorous bitch than Joan Collins. And, more to the topic at hand, I thought the name Dominique was ever so chic. So I decided then and there (at age 8, I think) that I would be having twins. The boy would be named Dominic and the girl Dominique. And I planned for this eventuality without one drop of irony. God, I was a ridiculous child.