Get to know your fellow board members....

[djandrews25]

Counting syllables
Is a waste of fucking time
Shove it up your ass

Nice.

[Monklish]

Correction to the TV question: in concept and execution from a writer's perspective, Lost is probably better than both The Sopranos and The Wire, but most of the main characters are absolutely fucking intolerable. As a creative person though I find the way the show has been handled a lot more interesting to examine than those two. A lot of it will depend on how the last season goes. If only they had gotten tolerable actors to play Jack and Kate and didn't write them so fucking stupidly and didn't repeat itself so much it would own.

[Mr. Dylanja]

Top 5 rappers excluding Biggie.

[Monklish]

Em
Pun
ODB just for pure style
Meth
L-Boogie (srsly)
eh, I'm stopping there. I stopped listening to rap around 2001.

[ivankay]

You are the ruler of the world and what you say goes. What do you do to change the ways of the current world's environmental, social, economic and religious approaches to "make" it the kind of world you can tolerate? Anything goes.

[Monklish]

You are the ruler of the world and what you say goes. What do you do to change the ways of the current world's environmental, social, economic and religious approaches to "make" it the kind of world you can tolerate? Anything goes.

Um.... jesus. Way to make it an easy one, eh, Ivankay?

I say it all starts from education. If there's one change I'd really like to make to the world it would be drastically altering the educational system during the formative years. Things like comparative religion, philosophy, logic, sociology, practical science, cultural relativism, and macro and micro-economics would all be required. english classes would focus less on stupid shit like five paragraph essay writing and more on trying to foster an actual love and appreciation for reading and writing in the students. Less grading crap in general, barely any homework. Let the kids get graded on four tests/papers/projects per year, that's it, give them the rest of the time to be taught and absorb.

The only real way to fix the world is to break people of their indoctrinations as much as possible. All maths after basic algebra can be electives and history should largely focus strictly on identifiable trends across multiple eras and societies--broad-view world history--rather than just some American History bullshit. American History can be one year if that and it should work backwards from the present rather than the other way around.

I think if you presented an honest depiction of what happened in American politics and how it affected society over the last 50 years you'd end up with a generation who would be practically impossible to talk into conservative right-wing horseshit. If all students had to fairly evaluate all religions, realize the similarities and differences, I doubt many would actually stay loyal enough to one faith and its dogma to support the crazy shit done in its name. And so on and so forth.

As far as the environment goes, it's gonna get fixed. The biggest concern needs to be making "green" mechanisms cost efficient. But I think that's going to happen naturally.

[ivankay]

Who are the top 10 people currently living who deserve the hardest punch in the face from you? And the top ten who deserve your total adoration?

Deceased people?

Fictional people?

[Monklish]

I dunno, man. First of all, enough with the long list questions. But the only person I'm really particularly motivated to want to punch at the moment is my old friend Sprak who did something he shouldn't have done. Gonna have to wait til my health clears up a bit for that though as he's been known to punch people so hard they regained consciousness before.

As far as adoration goes, besides Ivy of course (not about to forget to throw that in there) I don't believe in idol worship and can't see myself doing it. There are plenty of artists who as artists I love dearly but find boring or annoying as people and am pretty sure I'd end up fucking with if I ever met them in person. I think the only people I could really jive with would be comedians, in which case I suppose Chris Rock, Louis CK, and Patton Oswalt I think I could find an affinity with. I'm not going through all of history.

[ivankay]

i was thinking it was a bit much after i posted it. my apologies.

Maybe it's somewhere here on the boards already, but can you tell the story of the first time you did what you consider "drugs"?

[Monklish]

Not really much of a story. Smoked weed in some woods out behind the Burger King near my high school. Ate two chicken sandwiches. Went back to our friend's house and played Mario Kart. Nothing too eventful.

[locachica73]

At what point and under what circumstances did you realized your parents didn't know everything and were actually fairly full of shit?

[ivankay]

What's your scariest drug story?

Oh, how were sales at the supre store? What were the most popular items?

[Monklish]

At what point and under what circumstances did you realized your parents didn't know everything and were actually fairly full of shit?

I knew my mom was full of shit by a very young age, probably in part because my dad was frequently pointing it out. My dad was never really full of shit except for very few instances. But my mom was (and still is) a relatively dizzy bim, even though she's pretty well educated and came from very smart stock. She says some of the most ridiculous things as if they were fact. I suppose the first incident I can remember where I really started questioning them was this:

7th grade English. We got into a discussion about the first amendment. I raised the question to the teacher why if we supposedly had first amendment rights did I keep getting disciplined by this publicly funded institution for cursing. The teacher said something really dismissive to me, so I hollered out something along the lines of "Look, all I want to know is how come if I have freedom of speech I'm not allowed to say that you're acting like a total fucking cunt right now."

Naturally I got in a lot of trouble, suspended and all that. My mom was ripshit. When my dad got home I explained to him what had happened and he said, "Well of course you got in trouble, though I see your gambit there. You thought they wouldn't discipline you for cursing during a class discussion on freedom of speech. Pretty funny, but dumb." And that was about it as far as Dad was concerned.

Mom though, who worked in the school system (in an elementary school as a librarian) was still furiously upset, and she finally revealed the true reason why later in the night by screaming at me that I was making HER look bad. "How am I supposed to face my co-workers tomorrow with them thinking this is how I raised you?!" She was screaming like a maniac. This is when I realized that mom cared about as much about my education as the teachers did.

What's your scariest drug story?

Oh, how were sales at the supre store? What were the most popular items?

Enough with the drug stories.

i think there were a few buttons sold as those were very cheap, and didn't Jen buy one of the dog shirts? I dunno. Funny actually, I don't know why I never got notified that someone had made a purchase. Maybe I opted out of making any profit off the sales.

[weeklymix]

Is there a particular article of clothing you won't leave home without?

[nbvcide]

Oh, how were sales at the supre store? What were the most popular items?

^haha i asked about one of the items a year or two ago but never heard back

question: Have you randy actually ever met Supre? and, if so, please tell the story again..

[Monklish]

Is there a particular article of clothing you won't leave home without?

... well, some form of dick/ass covering, be it pants or shorts or what have you. Aside from that, fuck a bunch of clothing.

[Monklish]

^haha i asked about one of the items a year or two ago but never heard back

question: Have you randy actually ever met Supre? and, if so, please tell the story again..

Oh jesus christ, it's like some kind of golden rule of the board that if Supre and I are attending the same event the motherfucker ends up next to me. At the Radiohead Hollywood Bowl show he walked right past me as I was coming down the stairs to a walkway and when he started to turn over his left shoulder to look at me I bolted low to his right around him and nearly knocked my friend ahead of him down running away. I'm pretty sure I had him completely convinced he'd just imagined the whole thing until I told the story on here.

Then there was the campgrounds last year, when Ivy and I got into line to check in and sure enough, fucking Supre was somehow right next to us. he said hi, I laughed and said hi, he said something else, I said, "okay, well we're gonna move about five people back now."

And a bunch of people were there for the NIN Vegas misery of having to stand there while he lisped at me.

[Young blood]

How many people from this message board or 1 degree of separation have you slept with?

[Monklish]

How many people from this message board or 1 degree of separation have you slept with?

Ahahahaha, um, no.

[Young blood]

How long before you realize why you left New Jersey in the first place and move again?

[Monklish]

HAAAAAAAA. Oh you fucking cunt. I figure 1-2 years.

[locachica73]

"Look, all I want to know is how come if I have freedom of speech I'm not allowed to say that you're acting like a total fucking cunt right now."

I got called into the principals office for my daughter for a very similar incident.

What are your thoughts on kids? Do you want them eventually? If you do will you be upfront and honest about your past experimentations? Do you think parents should hide this or be honest about it?

[chairmenmeow47]

you've become a famous celebrity and you get caught in some sort of infamous scandal with the media. what's the scandal & how do you get caught?

and prior to my titties entering your life, can you tell us about the one that got away?

[Monklish]

I got called into the principals office for my daughter for a very similar incident.

What are your thoughts on kids? Do you want them eventually? If you do will you be upfront and honest about your past experimentations? Do you think parents should hide this or be honest about it?

Yes to kids, hopefully around five or so years from now, and yes to being upfront. Fuck, I plan to teach my kids how to do drugs so they don't screw it up.

you've become a famous celebrity and you get caught in some sort of infamous scandal with the media. what's the scandal & how do you get caught?

and prior to my titties entering your life, can you tell us about the one that got away?

I probably get caught supplying my kids with drugs.

One that got away... ah, no. They were all cunts anyway. It's a good thing the bitches liked to escape.

[stuporfly]

You recently spent some quality time in a hospital, but let's hear about an illness that didn't result in your seeking traditional health care. Have you ever devised some home remedy for an ailment people might ordinarily see a doctor about? If so, did the publc hair ever grow back properly?

[Monklish]

You recently spent some quality time in a hospital, but let's hear about an illness that didn't result in your seeking traditional health care. Have you ever devised some home remedy for an ailment people might ordinarily see a doctor about? If so, did the publc hair ever grow back properly?

I think I've told this story on here before, but here goes: when I was seventeen or so in the course of one of my many fistfights I happened to break my pinky finger, right at the joint closed to the nail. The nature of the break caused the very tip of my pinky to be bent downward at a sharp angle--keeping with the normal direction fingers go, but couldn't be straightened.

I ignored my mother's warnings to go to a doctor and get it set only to find a week later that this condition had not changed. Tip of pinky still bent weird. My mother took the opportunity to point out that I was a fucking idiot for not getting it set by a doctor in the first place because now when I went in they'd have to re-break it.

Out that night with my friends I relayed her analysis and somewhere along the course of the discussion suggested that I should just re-break it and set it myself. This naturally led to an argument about how I would go about that, the rate of success, and most importantly whether or not I had the balls to dangle the tip of my pinky finger off the edge of a table and whack it with a hammer--the methodology I'd determined to be most effective.

Sadly, the conversation had turned so funny that I felt obliged to go ahead with it. I wish we'd videotaped the shit, as it was pretty hilarious. For one, since it was my right pinky I had to swing the hammer with my left hand which I am not particularly adroit with. This led to me accidentally almost breaking my wrist on the first swing.

When I finally did hit the pinky, it hurt about as much as anything I can remember, so much so that I was hysterically laughing on the ground in tears for a solid fifteen minutes. And it didn't break my finger anyway.

[ivankay]

That's a great story. If that is not the all time worst physical pain you have ever experienced, what was and could you please share the story? If it was, thanks for answering already.

[Monklish]

That's a great story. If that is not the all time worst physical pain you have ever experienced, what was and could you please share the story? If it was, thanks for answering already.

That was pretty up there. Chopped up jalapenos and jalapeno juice rubbed into an open wound was pretty rough as well. I'll try to think of anything else specific I can remember.

[locachica73]

What is the one best piece of advice that you didn't take but looking back wish you would have?

[algunz]

You clearly have a long history of hating English teachers.


What's your script about?