...here is a little morsel to help make this year's Coachella a little easier to swallow. I put this in plain sight to help me appreciate the "free time" I'll have during JJ.

Go ahead, make your own variant! Pick your own headliner!

Other red text ideas:

- Make babies.
- Read a book.
- Call mom. (Tell her you're okay, but the festival's hurt.)
- Spend some quality time with Jesus/Allah/Bono. Ask that next year, you won't have to do this again.