The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

[miscorrections]

I would be pleased to receive a mandolin.

[menikmati]

my dad has a mandolin

[Courtney]

These are the gifts I am thinking of so far:

dad: noise-canceling headphones for his frequent business travel, which he has said he wants
mom: french press, which she has said she wants
sister: pre-loaded mp3 player for the gym

I'm not sure about my grandmother. Friends are easy, they're all set. But I have no idea about the grandmother.

[bballarl]

Get her an alpaca.

[miscorrections]

mom: french press, which she has said she wants
sister: pre-loaded mp3 player for the gym

Those make the best goddamned coffee. Tip: even though they say do a coarse grind, grind the beans extra fine. It's more flavorful.

[Courtney]

Heyyy I worked in coffee shops for three years. I'm all about the french presses and other assorted less useful coffee-related gadgets and opinions.

[miscorrections]

Heyyy I didn't know that.

[Courtney]

I am sort of bitter about it. It has nothing to do with you. I don't drink coffee anymore because it made me crazy but I miss all the associated gadgetry.

[bballarl]

You guys are weird.

[miscorrections]

I just got a job at a coffee shop but I don't know anything about food/coffee service.

[leo01g]

Its always sunny in philadelphia seasons 1 and 2. Its only 30 dollars and its funny as hell.

[tricorne]

These are the gifts I am thinking of so far:

dad: noise-canceling headphones for his frequent business travel, which he has said he wants
mom: french press, which she has said she wants
sister: pre-loaded mp3 player for the gym

I'm not sure about my grandmother. Friends are easy, they're all set. But I have no idea about the grandmother.

Those are really good ideas. Tell us some more about your grandmother and maybe the internet will come up with something.

So far, the things I'm for sure on are:

Mom: Pin-tucked flannel nightgown from LL Bean that she's been wanting for years, a few silver bracelets that I have yet to make, some nice bath/body stuff that she's not self-indulgent enough to buy for herself.

Stepdad: I ordered these little pins that will snap into the back of his golf clubs that have been engraved with his name and phone number in case he loses one. I ordered them last month, because it said they take a month and a half to arrive. I received them two days later.

Grandma: I'm going to make an amber necklace for her similar to the one that we saw at the Hillman Hall in Pgh.

Grandpa: Astronomy book. We all got him a telescope a few years ago for his birthday and he loves it but I'm not entirely sure he knows how to use it.

Aunt and uncle: I have no clue.

Six year old cousin: I'm going to start a charm bracelet for her, with some sweet little silver charms. I'll include one with every present I get her for the next few years, probably.

I also need to come up with some nice house gifts for my stepdad's parents and my great-grandparents. Friends are the easiest, I'll just find something awesome or make jewelry.

[Courtney]

I think knowing about indie music is a bigger prerequisite for coffee shop work than actually knowing about coffee.

[bballarl]

Be sure to wear glasses.

[miscorrections]

I broke mine. Now I have to squint at everything.

[tricorne]

Also, I'm going to get myself a tattoo, and for my coworkers I'm going to make truffles.

[miscorrections]

Whenever I hear about someone getting a tattoo I immediately think 'white trash' and then I remember that I have one and I'm thrown into turmoil.

[bballarl]

Existential crisis.

[psychic friend]

mom - hand written letter, card, twirl a squirrel


dad- thank you note for the money (what else can I get him?)

[tricorne]

Are you on AIM, Corinna? It would be an opportune time.

[miscorrections]

FUCK YOU ANDREW YOU SAID IT BEFORE I COULD

I'm actually on aim right now, Hannah. For once.

[wmgaretjax]

damn, i wish I knew someone cool enough to buy me a french press for christmas.

I don't know what I'm getting other people, but I hope someone will be amazing enough to buy me Skoltz Kolgen's "Silent Room."

I think I'll probably buy my dad that PBS War series, he hasn't seen it yet but keeps mentioning it.

[All That I Am]

My girlfriend told her best friend she wanted a nintendo wii or a promise ring.
I already go her the wii but i'm thinking about getting a cheap promise ring too.
is that wrong?

[Courtney]

So what do you get for a 17 yr old boy for under $30?

gift certificate to a local movie theater? or blockbuster?
magazine subscription?

[All That I Am]

My dad who is hard of hearing wants some high end studio headphones. I guess i'll get him some ok ones and lie about their quality.
I told my mom if she sees something she really wants at about a hundred dollars to buy it because she always asks for the same three things, slippers, a purse and that white diamonds perfume. So i guess she's up late one night drinking and decides it'd be a great idea to order herself like 90 dollars worth of light up plastic grapes bunches. I don't give a fuck at least i don't have to go looking for slippers a purse and white diamonds now.

[gaypalmsprings]

[Courtney]

Those are really good ideas. Tell us some more about your grandmother and maybe the internet will come up with something.

Thanks. You have good gift ideas too. Hmm things about my grandmother? She's 90. She lives in a retirement community near Washington, DC. She used to live on a farm in Vermont. She reads supermarket mystery novels and recently she had some eye surgery so she reads large print books now. She had a cat which recently died. She has been married three times and has outlasted all of them. She is now dating some man who also lives in the retirement community. She is on some social planning committee there. She worked as a Red Cross nurse during WW2, which I'm fairly certain was basically a classy way of saying she a government-hired escort for the troops during their R&R time. She likes self-tanner. She is an eternal optimist. She likes pedicures.

OH YES WIN THANK YOU HANNAH. I think I want to get her a gift certificate for a fancy pedicure.

[rage patton]

I was going to suggest a mandolin... but a pedicure works too.

[Courtney]

damn, i wish I knew someone cool enough to buy me a french press for christmas.

Hang out around me and not only do you get to come to my Mount Eerie house party, but you also get a FRENCH PRESS out of the deal. Pretty much double-winner right there.

[nothingman00]

All I want for Christmas is a really long, boring thread about Radiohead's new album. That's all I want, nothing more, nothing less...










Actually I want more...

I want 12,000 posts on that fucker. I want a tenth of a second, note-by-note breakdown of the whole shindig including the pauses between tracks. I want to know every single misguided lyrical interpretation of every song and I certainly want to know how life altering it is. I want to know what color of shirt, scarve, knickers, sneakers and socks Thom and Johnny-Boy were wearing during each take of each song. Boxers or Briefs? Doublemint or Juicy Fruit (or God Forbid they chew Bubble Tape)? I want to know what Thom's testicles look like after they are pierced with an ice pick. I want each of you to personally fly to Austin and sing Christmas Carols at my doorstep to the tune of the entire "In rainbows" album from start to finish, on repeat, for no less than 121 hours (and no humming... You come with your A-game and if that means clothespins on your nose for full nasal effect, then bring it). I want Thom and Bjork to fuck like Zimbabwean Sun chasers on DMT and I think it should be broadcast on Fox News for the next year, after which we get a reality TV show focusing on the spawn spending its life flitting around like a little woodland tree spirit. I want Ty Webb's real address. I want Don King to stage a goddamn fight between a pussy ass silverback and any run of the mill grizzly (no weapons, neutral setting of course) and settle this mess once and for all. I want all the little hoo's down in hoo-ville to cry themselves a river, then drown in it before that damn Horton comes snooping around. I want someone to come into a school, fully armed and preparing to throw down, and get sucker punched by a 65 pound girl with headgear and a trig book nestled under her armpit before he gets a shot off. I want her to stand defiantly over his slooped body and drive an awkward heal into his ocular cavity. And of course, I would like my rug back... It really tied the room together.