My good friends I am single again and you know what that means....DATING SEASON!!!!!!! On the old board I just always made a new thread on dates that were worth posting about but I'm going to keep it simple and just post here.
First cockblock of this years dating season happened last night. I blame Tenacious D. So this girl I've been hitting on for awhile calls me up and tells me to go to Brus Room last night....I wanted to say yes but I've been getting shitty every night since last Thursday and I wanted to stay home. She ends up telling me that her 4 girlfriends drove down from Kentucky the night before and they are all going to be there. I was fucked on my quiet evening, this girl is a hottie and she has 4 friends with her and her roomate is going out, who is hot too. I was hoping that 2 of the 4 friends from Kentucky were cute. So I ended up going out there with one of my boys. I get some crunk juice in me to get my mode on. Then the girls show up. Lauren the girl I was hitting on walks in showing off her sexy legs in a sexy skirt. Meridith her roommate walks in looking good as hell. Then another girl shows up, nice chest thats about it....then another walks in behind her, she just makes me want to puke. Then two 14 year old girls walk in and they all walk towards us.
I know you are wondering what this has to do with Tenacious D, just be patient. So it turns out that the girl that makes me want to puke is 28 and has a 14 year old daughter and the other girl is her friend. Yes if you do the math she had her daughter at 14. So I start talking to Lauren and things are going well for me, we set up a date for next week but that didn't seem like it was good enough for her. I was getting a "fuck me" vibe from her. Two lady friends of mine walked in and I started talking to them for a bit, then karaoke started and one of my lady friends put my name up for two songs and I didn't even know. So I hear "is skrony Ronnie here? Where's skrony Ronnie?" So everyone starts yelling at me to go on. Its one thing to make a full of yourself around people you dont know, but when you are at a bar every night and you know everyone THAT SUCKS. So I still have no idea what im singing and then I hear the begining of "Killing in the Name Of" Yeah I might look like Zack de la Rocha but I don't sound like him. It was horrible, I hated it but none the less it was fun and everyone was singing along with me so I don't think they notice how bad it was. Then I start to walk away and Frank E. Oke tells me I have one more song. And its Tenacious D "fuck her gently"
When I get done with that song I walk over to Lauren after getting another drink. She's like "i saw you up there and I didn't like that last song you sang. For one you have a dirty mouth and second that girl put that song on for you and you probaly would want to fuck her gently" Needless to say I went home alone that night.
This is going to be a good season