Yea, I was going to say, that doesn't seem very flattering to a bride to be...
My $0.02... a bridal shower is a family & friends event, which should include female family members on the groom's side as well, and might optionally include close female friends of the groom. (I'd say it depends on whether that person is expected to be a close friend to them as a couple). Since many of the attendees may not know each other, you need to have an agenda with planned activities that act as a mixer so people have reason to meet each other and talk, not to mention, something to do to fill time and dead air in case people aren't socializing much. Since family is there, racy games aren't appropriate. Door prizes for games are pretty standard, but they can be small items.
Gifts are expected at a shower. The type of gift really depends on the bride and groom's situation. For example, housewares (especially kitchen stuff) are traditional, but if the bride and groom are already living together or already had their own households, they may not want or need those things. The gifts are for the bride, not the couple. (Kitchenwares were considered "bride's gifts traditionally, since the woman's place is in the kitchen? heh) Some people decide to go with something NOT household related to get away from gender role stereotypes. Lingerie is an option, but you'd have to consider whether you know the bride's tastes (and size) and whether what you'd buy would be appropriate to unwrap in front of her relatives, or her husband to be's relatives. At most showers I've been to, the bride got a lot of small/less expensive kitchen items, tasteful lingerie, and pampering products, while the more expensive stuff was left on the registry for wedding gifts.
Bachelorette party is a friends only event, and totally agree that you should just check the list with the bride. I've been lucky that my friends who got married also more or less told us what they would like to do for their bachelorette party, so all we had to do was schedule it and pay for it. I don't think there is anything you "have to" do, but make sure you know if there is anything the bride really wants or really doesn't want (such as if they are really against having a stripper), and also make sure that whatever you have plans is financially feasible for everyone involved. Other than that, obviously don't let the bride pay for anything.