View Full Version : Parental convincing problems

01-24-2007, 10:00 PM
My friends and I dearly want to attend coachella, but we are having problems convincing them to let us go. My parents main problems are:

Lack of parental supervision
missing a few days of school
Being an extreme distance from home (we hail from Alaska)
Being underage

Now, i have told them about the extensive security at the festival, and that we would be staying at a private campground. Any suggestions?

01-24-2007, 10:08 PM
That is pretty far to be without an adult.. i say that as a parent of two boys. I can understand their worries. Plus where would you stay since you as underage kiddies cant rent a hotel room or stay at the camping and how will you get there. ... parents worry..its our job .

I would try to find someone 18+ whp can be the Adult for you and your crew, maybe then they will let you go.

01-24-2007, 10:15 PM
That is the obvious solution. However, we are all nearly 18, all of us would be 17 by the time the festival goes down. I am honestly considering a hunger strike.

01-24-2007, 10:15 PM
Yes, where will you be staying and how will you be getting there?

I think your parents' concerns are not unreasonable.

01-24-2007, 10:16 PM
must be 18 to camp...sorry

01-24-2007, 10:25 PM
I know my parents concerns are reasonable, and apparently one of my friends has a cousin that lives nearby. Does 18 to camp include private campgrounds? would it be possible for an adult to reserve but not stay with us?

01-24-2007, 10:30 PM
it is quite obvious he wasn't attacking his parents concerns, or judging them as being unreasonable in any way.

I am sure that he understands his parents concerns, I know I do, it is legitimate for an event so large... but take this into consideration:

It's the flippin' Rage reunion! how do you miss something like that? If you are a Rage fan, which I am sure Arvin is (otherwise he wouldn't be spending an 800 dollar air fare ticket to fly from alaska!), then this is kinda a must see event. Since he is so close to being 17 (which is so close to being 18) it seems as though HIS concerns ought to be taken with as much consideration as his parents are.

So! as parents, or maybe from experience, how can you help him convince his own parents that this is a good idea, because it definitely is.

If nothing else... this is for the freaking love of RATM!

01-24-2007, 10:36 PM
If nothing else... this is for the freaking love of RATM!

Yeah 17 year olds really remember RATM at their peak back in the late 90's when they were still in elementary school right?

01-24-2007, 10:40 PM
you should rob a conveniance store and runaway. I had some friends who did something like that to go to a Cure concert out of state.

01-24-2007, 10:45 PM
Yeah 17 year olds really remember RATM at their peak back in the late 90's when they were still in elementary school right?

alright, you fucking ass, that was a totally unnecessary attack.

To suggest that we could only be fans of a band if we were around when they were popular... I guess that means it would be illegitimate for you to be a fan of any band like the beatles, the who, led zeppelin, the doors, or any one of them, and wouldn't kill to see them if you ever got the chance to see them live in a reunion concert, is that right?

That's right, restrict our music to our generations that we belong to, I should only be interested in the music that all the assholes in my school are interested in. I should walk everywhere wearin my XXXL shirts, making sure I have a hand free to keep my pants from falling down cus that is what my musical idols are doing. I didn't realize that RATM belonged to your generation.

Accept my apologies, please, I am really not worthy of your level of commitment to them

01-24-2007, 10:59 PM
Yeah 17 year olds really remember RATM at their peak back in the late 90's when they were still in elementary school right?

Way to be a hoser. Just because we weren't at your maturity level for Rage's peak doesn't mean their message, views and ideals don't manifest themselves in us.

Does that fact that Adagio for strings was composed before the majority of us existed make it any less sad?
Does the fact that The Grapes of Wrath was written during the dust bowl, a national disaster which none of us experienced, make the message less potent?

Suprefan, if you're not going to make helpful comments, then just go away.

Back on topic:

So! as parents, or maybe from experience, how can you help him convince his own parents that this is a good idea, because it definitely is.

01-24-2007, 11:12 PM
Better yet steal an RV! Please don't get yourself all worked up to see one band. Come for the experience of the entire festival.

01-24-2007, 11:45 PM
Driving the 3500 miles to coachella would be near impossible, especially when you factor in the U.S. border

01-25-2007, 12:34 AM
Yeah 17 year olds really remember RATM at their peak back in the late 90's when they were still in elementary school right?

umm.. i just turned 21.. I remember when Bulls On Parade came out.. I was in elementary school.. and I remember them well..

I really love Pink Floyd, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, and other bands that weren't popular at the time I was alive... that doesn't mean I wouldn't KILL to be at one of their shows (yes, I know jim morrison and jimi hendrix are both dead).

01-25-2007, 12:36 AM
Damn... I totally feel for you.. I know how that feels..

01-25-2007, 12:46 AM
No offense arvin, but good luck. Coachella is a little far, maybe you should just hope that RATM stays together and does bumpershoot. But I would try to convince a relative or friends relative that is over 18 to take you guys. Your parents will be more likely to agree. If not, ask them if you can do it to prove you are mature. Act like a saint for the next 2 months, and ask again. There should still be tickets for you, and it wont be 2 short of notice to book a flight. Also to save money, maybe take amtrack. I was looking at going up to bumpershoot, and from Bakersfield to Seattle it was $76 each way.

01-25-2007, 12:58 AM
I'm 28 and have been to several Coachella's over the years.

Last year, I took my 16 year old brother. This year, I'm taking him, now 17, and my 19 year old sister.

If it was up to me, there is no way in HELL I would let them go without me. Sorry, but I think your parents are right on this one.

01-25-2007, 01:34 AM
Well, seeing as there is no train service out of alaska, that option is out. Also, let me reiterate that I know all of my parents points are extremely valid, and i cannot blame them for not wanting me to go. However, there is no harm in trying. As far as money goes, i have plenty left from working last summer, enough to cover the $1000 (rough estimate) cost.
I think my best hopes for an adult to go resides in one of my cousins, who i know is a fan of RHCP and rage, but it looks bleak.

01-25-2007, 01:48 AM
you could fly to seattle, which should be pretty cheap and then take a train down.... thats what I was meaning.

01-25-2007, 01:52 AM
suprefan, you suck.

Don't give up. I convinced my parents when i was 17. We got my dad to rent a hotel in his name and then we checked in with his credit card. They didn't even question us. I wouldn't recommend it, what with the risk and all, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

01-25-2007, 01:58 AM
i was 18 and flew to nyc and saw a 21+ beastie boys show...i was pretty lucky then, but if you arent sure where you are gonna stay or get food, sounds not well planned. Get some info down on whats going on.

01-25-2007, 03:38 AM
Ok, nobody seems to be really trying to give the guy some advice in order to allay his parents(however reasonable) fears.

I went to my first festival(T In The Park) when I was 14, and I camped for the weekend, and at 17, I went away to Greece from the UK for a 2 week holiday with 2 friends.
I think the biggest reassurance my folks had at TITP was that I was in a large group, about 13 of us in total.

So the more of you who can go the better, and actually sit down and do some research on travel arrangements, budgeting etc. Nothing will piss your parents off more if they ask you questions and you say "I don't know". If you have a pretty good amount of info, then your parents might take you seriously about the whole thing and chill a bit.

So have a look about on the messageboard here and find answers to as many questions as you can, but ultimately, your parents WILL worry about you.

Hope this helps

01-25-2007, 03:54 AM
Hey I'm about 18 from the Philippines so it's like farther from Coachella than Alaska...Hehe But I've been allowed to go travel in other countries with 2 friends, all three of us minors, girls, without supervision for 5 days. The last one was two weeks, and just 2 of us.

I think you have to assure your parents, it takes a little tweaking. Show them what the festival is about, let them read some "safe" accounts, experiences. The FAQ about security is a good place to start. Assure them with communication VERY IMPORTANT. Like, calling when you get to your hotel/that ATT service thing. Email is even okay.

If you make the festival this big deal for you I'm sure they can't refuse right? hehe..It works for me..like talking to my 'rents about where I want to go/what I'll be doing there 24/7 so they know you're not just gna get wasted when you get there...


01-25-2007, 04:03 AM
Hey I'm about 18 from the Philippines so it's like farther from Coachella than Alaska...

Just a few miles farther... :D

Are you coming?

01-25-2007, 04:47 AM
Just a few miles farther... :D

Are you coming?

The subject is still under discussion with my parents hehehe...But the more important thing is the visa..I'll find out next month!!! Ahhhh!! But surely my 2 friends and I are all pumped up for the festival! (RATM I didnt think I'll have this chance!!!)

01-25-2007, 09:14 AM
I've got a 14 year old son and I can see going down there with him bringing a friend or two and letting them roam freely inside the grounds. It's a pretty safe environment inside. As a parent I would guess the bigger concern is when you're in transit and not inside the Polo grounds. That's what I would want addressed as a parent.

Parents are generally most concerned about unsupervised situations that are mainly teenagers with other teenagers. The crowd at Coachella is a bit older and pretty chilled out.

01-26-2007, 02:08 AM
Thank you Disco! and GTI_GRL, you guys actually helped.
I think the best way to go about this is to plan for the trip as if i did have parental permission. That way, i will be prepared for a barrage of questions. The Biggest obstacle is finding a place to stay. Do the private campgrounds near Coachella require adults in the party camping, or just to reserve?

01-26-2007, 02:33 AM
last year when i was 17 i wanted to go to london and paris and was really nervous about asking my parents. so before i even mentioned anything to them at all, i planned the whole trip out, got flights and hostel and budget and everything, and then asked them. before they could say no, i went on to show them all the research i did and i guess they were impressed cos they let me go.

coachella is sort of a late bday/xmas present for me so yay. but i'm guessing your parents are more worried about safety/alcohol/drugs than the money issue, seeing as how you can pay your own way, right? you should mention to them that coachella is actually pretty strict on drinking/drugs and you can only drink in a specific area anyway. i agree with someone up there who said you should show them the FAQ cos it showed that this is a very organised and safe event.

as for missing school (im missing school too) you can say something about how you've been doing so well lately (err i hope you have) and whatnot and it's going to be the end of the term anyway so there wont even be much to do in class, etc.etc.

the bigger obstacle i see is the fact that you wont be able to camp and hotels are expensive and you'd need to drive from hotel to festival anyway. when you say private campgrounds, if you mean onsite campgrounds, every camper must be 18+, and they check ID when you check in.

anyway i hope you get to go.

01-26-2007, 07:08 AM
Did your parents go to woodstock? Are they from the free love era? explain that this is that time for you on a much smaller less tripping scale. of all the festivals ive been to. this is the most relaxed and full of overall love out there. If all else fails beg beg and beg.

01-26-2007, 08:42 AM
again where are you staying? Camping is 18+.....I'm not saying security and counslers checks everybody's ID....but its possible they may, and you'll be outta luck.

01-26-2007, 09:07 AM
"Fuck you I wont do what you tell me."

01-26-2007, 09:10 AM
Try to get one or 2 parents to go--I take my kids every year---I have a great time and there are lots of older fans there--Some of the bands are from your parents time. They could roam around or hang with you.A short vacation in Palm Springs --sounds great for Alaskans in spring. No matter how trustworthy you guys are it is good to have an adult just in case.The festival is safe and there is not a lot of drinking going on what with the separate areas and security. Some of my friends kids take the bus from LA for a day trip and I am there just in case but no one ever needed any help!

01-26-2007, 09:34 AM
i agree. my brother and his wife take their son, which is ridiculous cause he's 3 going on 4 (hyper nightmare at this age).

my first coachella i was 19, going on 20 the week after, and i took my older sister to the festival to avoid the parental concerns while i was AT the festival (cause they think i'll get killed or something). what made this work was that my parents tagged along. you know, you would think it would be lame to pretty much go with your whole family but it was awesome. my parents love making that trip and hope to make it again this year. i think that should be your way of convincing them. a nice, relaxing, family vacation for them to do what they want and for you to go to the festival. you said you're turning 17 before the festival, right? make it a birthday trip. a gift of accompanying you and letting you go. trust me, it's a compromise that's soooo worth it.

do what you're going to do. plan it as if you had consent, but factor in money that you and your parents could split and see what they think about it.

hope that helped.

01-26-2007, 09:50 AM
I agree - ask one or both of them to go.

Barbara, the ninja
01-26-2007, 09:55 AM
I'll be 18 by the time of the festival, so I'm just going to leave Thursday night and when my mom calls me, I'm just going to say that I'm at a huge concert and I'll be back in 3 days.

There's nothing she can do right??

01-26-2007, 09:56 AM
I seriously hope you guys make it, just do some serious brown nosing and trip planning. You at 17 will have soooooo much fun, it will be such an intense and novel experience. Not that I won't have a kick ass time, but I just remember getting way far off on my own for the first time (Indonesia for 3 months @ 18yrs old) I want that kind of experience back.

01-26-2007, 09:59 AM
Tell your Parents to come with. Its Palm Springs Sun, relaxation, golf, spas, pools....&RAGE!!!!!!

01-26-2007, 10:03 AM
seriously! they'll enjoy themselves while you're having the time of your life at the show. that's the best option, in my opinion anyway.

01-26-2007, 10:22 AM
^ Good points. Have you tried seeing if they'd be interested in attending? I've seen plenty of parents attend concerts and festivals w/ their kids -- they enjoyed it as well, without being overbearing -- and I'm envious as mine never bothered. Also, it might be good to ask any other adults your parents may know (relatives? close friends?) who might consider going and watching over you and your friends. Just an idea.

01-26-2007, 11:05 AM
Convience one of your parents to bring you to the festival - they might even enjoy it. Regarding the stupid comment by the guy about 17 year olds not really knowing RATM - look at all the young kids who were there for the Pixies 2 years back. I doubt any of them were at Pixies shows when I was back in the 90's but who gives a f*ck they are obviously fans now and were there to support their heros.

01-26-2007, 11:17 AM
Yes, I think a good solution for any groups of underage kids from out of town is to bring an adult. Because, between lodging and transport, you're going to need someone who is 18+ (and 25+ would be better for car rentals).

Hell, if the Police are added to the lineup, I'm going to totally end up going with my parents. It's not so bad... they even sometimes pay for stuff!

Chris Ruiz
01-26-2007, 11:39 AM
you know, i say just wait until you're 18. coachella is great, and I'm sure you could get away with coming down now, finding a place to stay, and things COULD work out... but it'll be a REALLLLLLLL hassle.

Just wait. All in due time my little grasshopper...

01-26-2007, 11:41 AM
best of luck - i have pretty cool parents and i know that back in the highschool days they never would have gone for that. :)

01-26-2007, 11:42 AM
you know, i say just wait until you're 18. coachella is great, and I'm sure you could get away with coming down now, finding a place to stay, and things COULD work out... but it'll be a REALLLLLLLL hassle.

Just wait. All in due time my little grasshopper...

I agree. When I was your age my parents wouldn't let me go and now that I am older I know why. But you really need to wait until your 18. Then you can do whatever you want!

01-26-2007, 02:50 PM
i still say dont give up! this is goign to be legendary!! dont miss it just cos your parents said no. but then again i am a firm believer of seizing the day and not letting opportunities pass you by.

01-26-2007, 02:58 PM
O.K. mom & dad. Iv'e been to pretty much all of the major festivals in the U.S. & Coachella is the most underage friendly festival by far. The local authorities and security of the event really do a good job of keeping this event clean and taking care of anyone who doesn't need to be there. If your parenting skills have worked then you won't have to worry about your childred doing the wrong things with the wrong people. They just need to use the buddy system & watchout for one another to have a safe time & great experience. If you have any questions mom & dad I will be glad to answer them truthfully as I'm an honest person.

01-26-2007, 02:58 PM
Get one of your parents to go with. They probably would have a good time.

01-26-2007, 04:03 PM
just wait wait wait.
i agree, coachella is very underage friendly... but that's not all that is in this equation. getting over here... the new passport laws... the money...

if a problem came about, there might be a change you'd have to have your parents bail you out of it... and that would be god awful.

... taking a road trip from another state is one thing, but your hailing pretty far....