View Full Version : Linus and Lucy review your records

mob roulette
03-11-2008, 10:23 PM
We'll get back to Big Jim (http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15190&page=5) in a minute. I want to be fair. In the meantime, please enjoy.

me: well okay let's begin. this first track is called "pots & pans"
friend: I've hit play
me: yes me too. i like that chimey guitar
friend: “all across the laaaand”. here comes the drums.
me: is this that guy that rips up stuffed animals? oh, good drums.
friend: yes, apparently
me: i saw them a long time ago and he was like apeshit crazy. climbing the rafters.
friend: he was brilliant on conan. he ripped off like 12 different t shirts
me: awesome. this sort of sounds like arcade fire if they were an actual rock band. this first song anyway.
friend: my head cannot stay still
me: oh snaps. this shit rocks right here. track twoooooooo.
friend: owwwwwwwwwww
me: "the equestrian"
friend: fucking drums. THEFUCKINGDRUMS.
me: I can't understand a word he's saying though. jackrabbits? what?
friend: “before I call you to my stable for a little mouth to mouth”
me: awesome
friend: I can't type fast enough
me: awesome
friend: <- actively snapping
me: this is a really good track
friend: ready?
me: “easy now easy now”
friend: ready?
me: yes. OH SHIT. rewind that shit.
friend: saying
me: that drummer should take a bow. "i've got blisters on me fingers!!!" Srsly.
friend: this reminds me of the strokes
me: track 3 is called "the year before the year 2000". yeah I know. a little. I hear it.
friend: the vocals during the chorus
me: yeah i hear it
friend: everybody please keep trying
me: is that processed or is that just his voice?
friend: it's a specific mic thing that they use, the Strokes. Flaming Lips do it too
me: yeah i know they do. track 4. I like this guitar. very wire. very gang of four etc. what's this called?
friend: “Patty Lee”. s'got the southern rock vocals
me: I’m like swiveling my hips. Its fairly hot
friend: I'll say. THIS ONE'S FOR THE LADAYS.
me: right? it totally reminds me of something else. peggy lee? fever? i want to snap my fingers in time. it grooves
friend: “back before babylon, shit was cool, now we all got our saddles n we drive to school”
me: i see like girls in the balcony doing the pony or the swim or something
friend: oh jesus
me: these are pretty good lyrics
friend: the swim?
me: you know the up and down with the snap. what is that?
friend: next track is my favorite
me: ok. here comes.
friend: snap * snap * snap
me: do they use that angular guitar sound on every song? it's kind of nice.
friend: I don't know, this is just a good, a great rock song “the world may seem cruel/
the world it may hate us/ in time, we will show the world why the world made us/TRIUMPH!
me: really?
friend: “a good drift takes drive”
me: i'm not really feeling this one for some reason
friend: you can't make me love this less. Sorry.
me: it sounds like they're trying to do someone else. this doesn't rock as hard
friend: you say that about every new band
me: they are not new. but yes you are right
friend: they are newer than 1980
me: don't you fucking hall and the oates me
friend: “before I was a cliff I was a canyon”
me: this song sucks too. “before I was a prince, I was a swan?” two words. of. montreal.
friend: bullshit
me: why are they being so fey when they obvs rock so hard? just give it to us.
friend: you can't be so one dimensional
me: you can extoll for awhile. this one's all yours.
friend : just at least wait for “Kiss Kiss Is Getting Old”. You will like that one.
me: okay
friend: this isn't fun. I feel bad.
me: no i like it. should we skip ahead?
friend: we gotta do something that you like, so I can balance out your criticism
me: Okay. But say something nice about this group before we move on
friend: this album was on my top ten of 2007
me: ahahaha
friend: fuck you
me: no go ahead. i'm kidding.
friend did not receive your chat.
friend: (not really)
me: ahahaha. "raging in the plague age". i like this one. back on track.
friend: yeah?
me: johnny rotten ova here. little bit.
friend: sigh
me: the way he stretches out "you". come on. really?
friend: because Johnny Rotten's definitely the only one that's ever done that in rock music. think of how loud this would be live and how live this would be loud
me: no I feel it. But i don't think i like the mix is all. Wow it's true. i have become an elitist snob
friend: no, you have become old and ornery
me: this isn't 1981. this reminds me of PiL.
friend: I'd like to read your top ten of 2007
me: okay. later, i promise
friend: ok just give this one a chance
me: i like this one so far
friend: it's very traditionally rock
me: it's a girl singing? oh wait there he is.
friend: yes a girl
me: okay. is that the chick from Deerhoof?
friend: no. but surely this meets your 90s alt rock sensibilities?
me: i just said “chick” too. sorry. yes yes it does. a bit. reminds me of like tsunami, marcy mays, that whole thing. you have no idea what i'm talking about, do you?
friend: of course not
me: uh huh. well that's why i like you
friend: cause this is old
me: you make me feel smart about dumb shit
friend: you're going to hate this song and I fully love it.
me: yet strangely not so far. okay now i hate it. 15 seconds in too. land speed record.
friend: context has a lot to do with ranking. time. you know?
me: i like exactly 50 percent of this record so far. that's a pretty good average. and yes, i know what you mean. how a record sits with you.
friend: you come and go.
me: but remember this is rock journalism. we have to make snap decisions here.
friend: I'm not good at rock journalism. you are though.
me: you're doing great. i hate this song too. Hey Lucy?
friend: “you got your mommy's menopause, you got your daddy's "save us alls",won't you come and meet me in the present tense?”
me: that's a good lyric. hey Lucy? why don't you spend our last few remaining minutes here extolling this record's virtues? i'm listening.
friend: “are you burned so bad?” I love that, it's so sarcastic. Like get over it. That's what I like about this song
me: these are all very good lyrics i will say that. covered in scratches from what? “Lowest Bitter.” That's clever.
friend: “when you let bitterness get in your heart, get in your home/it will destroy your soul”
me: i do like this song very much. i just don't like the chorus as much as the verses
friend: “we burn but we don't turn to coal”
me: but when they get to the chorus they're just doing that bay area punk thing. rancid, op ivy, etc.
friend: sigh

So yeah. Suggestions welcome.

03-11-2008, 10:24 PM
no one is going to read any of this!!!! D:

03-11-2008, 10:29 PM
it's true.

mob roulette
03-11-2008, 10:48 PM
I am strangely not concerned with your opinions. Just trying to do my part here. Let's push things forward.

03-11-2008, 11:17 PM
uhh...what is this? I didn't review anything.

Cpt. Funkaho
03-11-2008, 11:21 PM
I read the whole thing while listening to 30-second track samples of the songs in question. It's better in that context.

I also found it fun trying to read everything you wrote about a song before the 30 seconds was up.