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algunz
05-29-2013, 01:14 PM
Then it may be worth it to find a different venue.

ENluv12
05-29-2013, 01:16 PM
yeah I am looking into a few other ones. I am just bitching I guess. I know why people get stressed over this shit, I haven't even booked anything and I am getting annoyed with ppl.

locachica73
05-29-2013, 01:20 PM
That's got to be a hard thing to do. I have planned big parties before but it was for a company function and there was a committee. To try to do all of that on you own must be hard.

I have never gone to a really big wedding, the weddings I have had to stand in were either at a church (ew) or someone's back yard. So even though it was expensive, it wasn't $70/person expensive. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around that.

Azzah1977
05-29-2013, 01:20 PM
You are totally going to be fine:) My two nieces are getting married in the next couple of months and they were so stressed out before they started booking things. Once you get a hang of it, it's all smooth sailing from there:)

beckamarsch
05-29-2013, 01:24 PM
You are totally going to be fine:) My two nieces are getting married in the next couple of months and they were so stressed out before they started booking things. Once you get a hang of it, it's all smooth sailing from there:)

You will be fine :)

ENluv12
05-29-2013, 01:35 PM
Thanks guys, I think once we decide on a venue and a caterer it will be smooth sailing for the most part. It's just that initial bump in the road.

TomAz
05-29-2013, 02:44 PM
My two nieces are getting married

is that legal now

psychic friend
05-29-2013, 03:20 PM
is that legal now

lol

amyzzz
05-29-2013, 03:22 PM
Only in my bestest sex stories.

djbionik
05-29-2013, 07:39 PM
Ay, How do you tell a girlfriend that the way she talks annoys you so much that you can't stand it anymore?
I have this acquaintance friend who was great to take for her first Coachella because since she's not that into music but always down for a good time, she was a pretty good sidekick with no conflicts... until she gets talking. She either talks like a baby, or sounds like she's reciting Cosmo. It drove me bananas. I had to get her stoned so she'd shut up for a few hours of the day. She's so sensitive that I couldn't find the right words to tell her how much it bugged me.

This year, like other years, she didn't have the money for pre-sale. But this time, I didn't buy her one with mine. Now she's a big Coachella fan, which is great. But now she's asking me about next year and I have no nice words left in me to say "not with that baby-talk, you won't." She thinks I'm bitchy enough that I'm sure I could get away with just saying what I think, watch the tears, hear how mean I am and not hear from her for months before it's ok again. But I'd like to avoid that.

She is the one with the good cooler, afterall.

miscorrections
05-29-2013, 07:45 PM
The best thing to do is obviously to stay friends with people you can't stand. You should also pat yourself on the back for how nice you are by not telling her what you think and definitely use the fuck out of that sweet, sweet cooler.

beckamarsch
05-29-2013, 07:46 PM
Ay, How do you tell a girlfriend that the way she talks annoys you so much that you can't stand it anymore?
I have this acquaintance friend who was great to take for her first Coachella because since she's not that into music but always down for a good time, she was a pretty good sidekick with no conflicts... until she gets talking. She either talks like a baby, or sounds like she's reciting Cosmo. It drove me bananas. I had to get her stoned so she'd shut up for a few hours of the day. She's so sensitive that I couldn't find the right words to tell her how much it bugged me.

This year, like other years, she didn't have the money for pre-sale. But this time, I didn't buy her one with mine. Now she's a big Coachella fan, which is great. But now she's asking me about next year and I have no nice words left in me to say "not with that baby-talk, you won't." She thinks I'm bitchy enough that I'm sure I could get away with just saying what I think, watch the tears, hear how mean I am and not hear from her for months before it's ok again. But I'd like to avoid that.

She is the one with the good cooler, afterall.

Sometimes you have to do what's best for you. If she is someone you really can not stand to b around, then I would just distance myself from her. We can't be friends with everyone.

guedita
05-29-2013, 07:55 PM
I would send an anonymous note.

Written in your blood.

djbionik
05-29-2013, 07:57 PM
I would send an anonymous note.

Written in your blood.

I like this idea better. Coolers are expensive.

ENluv12
05-30-2013, 07:14 AM
Do you guys have any mutual friends, preferably girls that can have the conversation for you? If one of my girl friends told me something like that it would soften the blow.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 07:24 AM
The best alternative to the don't-tell-pat-on-the-back-use-cooler plan is definitely to involve your other friends to tell that horrible bitch what a horrible bitch she is. Friends really, really enjoy doing that for other friends who are just too goshdarn nice to do it themselves.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 07:25 AM
This is also a really difficult problem to solve though so I'm definitely stumped! I can't imagine how unbearable this interminable situation is for you.

ENluv12
05-30-2013, 07:34 AM
If it is a good friend it probably annoys them too. I would do it for my friends if it was that big of a deal.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 07:35 AM
I wouldn't because I wouldn't be friends with spineless babies.

Godspeed
05-30-2013, 07:48 AM
That...reallly... sucks, djb. I have a dude friend who talks a lot and he's insufferable. I can't imagine all the extra baggage that comes with your situation.

First thing is first, though, is she at least hot? If the answer is no, then leave her behind. If the answer is yes, prove it.

guedita
05-30-2013, 07:55 AM
There is no "extra baggage." He hangs out with this acquaintance chick once a year, at Coachella. And he's obviously an insufferable pussy.

Godspeed
05-30-2013, 07:57 AM
There is no "extra baggage." He hangs out with this acquaintance chick once a year, at Coachella. And he's obviously an insufferable pussy.

Crying?
Bitchy?
Baby voice?

That's baggage, no matter how long you deal with it. But yeah.

guedita
05-30-2013, 07:59 AM
Congratulations on your shitty reading comprehension.

She didn't cry -- he thinks she will.

He stated that he thinks she thinks he's bitchy enough to maybe get away with telling her what's on his mind.

He only wants to hang out with her because she has a cooler.

chiapet
05-30-2013, 08:05 AM
I'm pretty sure the "he" in this situation is a "she." Does the passive aggressive approach make more sense when it's a girl being too wimpy to tell her female friend that she's annoying? I think it does. :P

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 08:08 AM
I want to submit the original question to That Bad Advice (thatbadadvice.tumblr.com).

djbionik
05-30-2013, 07:18 PM
Oh that was awesome. You all fail on the reading comprehension test.

1) I thought the avatar of my breasts in a Coachella shirt and that I am posting in here (and have a bunch of times) would indicate that I am a woman. I still get "he, bro, dude, man" all the time. I sorta like that I'm invisible sometimes. I see you all, but you still can't see me!
2) We are acquaintances. We met at a seasonal job and we used to be the last ones standing. I figured she can hang. AND she's the only one I know from that awesome job that now lives in this god forsaken state with me. So really, I see her only a few times a year, (to plan for Coachella) and usually we're drunk. Our only mutual friends are just as annoying. That's why I didn't invite them. My history of company at Coachella is inconsistent. I take whoever seems the most interested.
3) We have had a similar talk where I tell her what's up and she cries and tells me I'm a mean bitch. But not about the baby talk because I didn't notice it so much before. It's true I try not to be so bitchy to people now. I know this is totally the wrong crowd to say it to, but bitchy doesn't look that great on a lot of people.
4) Miscorrections- woah. I think. no, nevermind. wait yeah. nah.. i mean yeah totally. woah.
5) Godspeed- thank you. And that's just one of the things that bug me, I coulda told y'all some other shit but I actively choose to overlook it. Some people just want to have fun, jeez.
6) Her cooler is pretty sweet. It holds ice for like 2 days, has compartments, rolls on everything, AND has cup holders.
7) Problem solved.

Also, Whoever is the bride to be, I got questions for you about vendors and such, particularly about hairstylists.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 07:20 PM
Tell her to fuck off and put a cooler on your registry.

footixy
05-30-2013, 07:26 PM
Oh that was awesome. You all fail on the reading comprehension test.

1) I thought the avatar of my breasts in a Coachella shirt and that I am posting in here (and have a bunch of times) would indicate that I am a woman. I still get "he, bro, dude, man" all the time. I sorta like that I'm invisible sometimes. I see you all, but you still can't see me!


Dude, those are boobs...?

footixy
05-30-2013, 07:27 PM
I always thought you were male due to "DJ Bionik"

djbionik
05-30-2013, 07:29 PM
That...reallly... sucks, djb. I have a dude friend who talks a lot and he's insufferable. I can't imagine all the extra baggage that comes with your situation.

First thing is first, though, is she at least hot? If the answer is no, then leave her behind. If the answer is yes, prove it.

Forgot this one. You're gonna love this Hollywood True Story. She dragged me along to go shopping for Coachella to this mall that's way far away but it has all the big and trendy stores, and wouldn't shut up about how her ultimate goal was to be photographed by a magazine while making me watch her try on the most ridiculous outfits only seen by celebrities in past years. Here's the kicker... she's not hot, not by a long shot. Niether am I, but I don't pretend I am with as much make up as she does. Ay... Worst afternoon ever.
I got so drunk at the mall to try and drown her out that I shot myself in the foot... we had to stay and sober up, so she made me get a manicure with her and hear her blab some more about how she's going for the dripping in black look like stevie nicks and sang the only New Order song she knows... IN BABY VOICE. Now tell me that isn't terrible.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 07:31 PM
Oh my fucking god if you hate your friends that much don't hang out with them. WHY IS THIS EVEN A PROBLEM.

algunz
05-30-2013, 07:32 PM
Is the cooler really worth it?

djbionik
05-30-2013, 07:32 PM
Dude, those are boobs...?

LOL well played. ;)

footixy
05-30-2013, 07:35 PM
you define tolerance miss bionik

getting drunk at the mall? WOW

unit300021
05-30-2013, 07:38 PM
I hate planning a wedding. Vendors are fucking thrives! I finally found a venue I am head over heels in love with and I can afford... well they have preferred vendors that are STUPID EXPENSIVE.

I'm not sure why I stumbled in this thread but my brother is currently in the middle of planning his wedding. he said the date/venue is the hardest part to figure out. Secondly he said he got some advice which he then is telling me has come true. he said that whatever your budget is for your wedding, prepare to actually spend about double it.

scenicworld
05-30-2013, 07:38 PM
well, if the cooler has compartments, I think the choice is obvious!

it really doesn't sound like you like her that much, so I kinda agree that you should just go your separate ways and move on. you don't have to confront her about anything since it's only someone you see casually.

djbionik
05-30-2013, 07:44 PM
Oh my fucking god if you hate your friends that much don't hang out with them. WHY IS THIS EVEN A PROBLEM.

Jesus, because I am human and I try to find good things in everyone. We get along, and when it's just us it's not that bad. It's just that this year I noticed it was worse than ever. Probably because she doesn't mix well with the rest of my friends, so she pulls this shit because she's insecure and has anxiety issues. I get that it's a defense thing- so I don't want to be horribly rude.

But we're not that close, and i made that clear. Like I said, problem solved.

Can laugh about it now? Besides, when this all blows over, I'll ask casually if I can borrow her cooler.

djbionik
05-30-2013, 07:46 PM
you define tolerance miss bionik

getting drunk at the mall? WOW

heheheh (Read: Resourceful) But that time, stupid. Shoulda got high instead.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 07:53 PM
Jesus, because I am human and I try to find good things in everyone.

This compassion and empathy really just shine through your statements about how you can't stand her.

djbionik
05-30-2013, 08:01 PM
I'm not sure why I stumbled in this thread but my brother is currently in the middle of planning his wedding. he said the date/venue is the hardest part to figure out. Secondly he said he got some advice which he then is telling me has come true. he said that whatever your budget is for your wedding, prepare to actually spend about double it.

holy hell. I'm helping my best friend with her wedding and totally noticing that the second you whisper the word "wedding" it's like the vendors get dollar signs in their eyes and start drooling over you.

Anyway, the bride and I have both been seeing the same hairdresser for forever. They've known each other since kindergarten. She's pretty good and only charges $45. But for the wedding, she quoted me $125 for the bride, plus $100 destination fee for traveling the whole 20 minutes to the venue to do it, and then $75 for each of us bridesmaids.
Here's the kicker... all but me have really short hair. The bride shaved her head like 2 months ago, so by the time the wedding hits, it'll only be like 6 inches. wtf is she charging like that for? So what I want to know is 1) what are our options? can we negotiate or is that bad etiquette? I mean, she's my hairdresser too. Not sure I can look her in the face after spending double what I normally pay plus tip on top. and then go in for a trim a few weeks later. 2) Do people just go to a salon with their bridesmaids and then try not to mess it up on the way to the wedding? I suppose we could just pick a competitor and go that route. and 3) are we supposed to help her pay for that shit?

DISCLOSURE: I actually really care about this friend. so go ahead with those snarky comments ladies... go ahead. at least make them funny.

miscorrections
05-30-2013, 08:07 PM
Here is an honest response to the wedding hair question. If the bride needs to have a certain look for the wedding and she is paying for that, go with whatever hairdresser she wants. If she is not paying for it but you really care about her and are willing to jump through the wedding hoops, get your hair did by who she wants. If you all work out that the hair is NOT ultimately the most important thing, go to who you want for what price you deem reasonable or do it yourself.

I've never actually been to a wedding where bridesmaid hairdos were a requirement, let alone participated in one, but that whole situation is a complete judgement call based on the relationships between you, your friend, and the other bridesmaids. Weddings tend to be fraught.

djbionik
05-30-2013, 08:25 PM
yeah, this is my second bridesmaid gig. the last one was for my sister and I was young. I just showed up and everything happened. this time, i'm helping her do a lot of work. it's nuts. It makes me want to elope. I think hair shouldn't be that big of a deal since really- they all have above shoulder hair, the whole thing sounds pretty dumb to me. I am the only one with a problem! hahah I have super thick, hard to style long hair. hahah so the questions are mostly selfish, but a true problem for the bride. she's pretty pissed about the quotes. I think I'll just convince her to spend the money elsewhere, start clipping some hair photos, and get practicing. Maybe I'll call up my coachella friend with all her hair and make up advice and expertise. hahahahahah ooh that's terribly mean. I just totally lol'd.

guedita
05-30-2013, 08:27 PM
Yeah -- you should probably ask your friend outright if she expects the bridesmaids to pay to get their hair done. Communicating about who is paying for what and what she expects/wants/hopes for before agreeing to something and then having your eyes fall out of your head when you get stuck with an unexpected bill is the best course of action here.

FWIW those prices seem a bit ridiculous. Also, why wouldn't you all be able to transport yourselves from the salon to the wedding? What will the hairstyles entail?

unit300021
05-30-2013, 08:31 PM
holy hell. I'm helping my best friend with her wedding and totally noticing that the second you whisper the word "wedding" it's like the vendors get dollar signs in their eyes and start drooling over you.

Yeah I'm not a female so I can't help with the hair deal and I'm not involved with any of the planning of it so I have no idea what exactly they are getting or how much they are paying for things. The only thing I know is that they have already gone over a good amount of their budget and still not done with everything yet. The wedding is in October so all of the major stuff is hopefully figured out by now but it's also the smaller stuff to that adds up.

Godspeed
05-30-2013, 08:43 PM
I reeally want the other friend to see this convo and call out this dude. Now that would be epic.

Bro, stop hanging out with her unless she's giving you some. Otherwise, youre unnecessarily hanging around her.

djbionik
05-30-2013, 10:07 PM
And the reading comprehension award goes to...


I reeally want the other friend to see this convo and call out this dude. Now that would be epic.

Bro, stop hanging out with her unless she's giving you some. Otherwise, youre unnecessarily hanging around her.


http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbp3miLTsS1qcauxd.gif

unit300021
05-30-2013, 10:17 PM
HAHA I was going to say something, but didn't want to take your glory. Plus you did it so much better then I ever could have.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-30-2013, 10:38 PM
Since there is wedding talk, i think this should be shared here.

http://i.imgur.com/S1mLm5M.jpg?1

djbionik
05-30-2013, 10:48 PM
That blonde girl is going to biff it. That's an army of a wedding party. looks expensive.

But awesome pic- because the theme of my friend's wedding is adventure. The groom is dino junkie, and my friend is a nature fairy. The invitations have the mountains with a little dino holding a flower. It's endearing. hahah the boys are wearing something similar to that, although us girls are going for polka dots and burnt orange. (whatever, it's utah.)

I might have to share this pic.

ENluv12
05-31-2013, 07:44 AM
I just asked the girl who does my hair if she would come to the venue or not, and what the costs would be... She is a family friend who I have known my whole life. She said it's usually %95 for the bridge and $75 for the bridesmaids but if that is too high she would work with me so that I can get what I want. Seems reasonable since she wouldn't be able to have many other clients that day.

Edit: she said that includes a free trial and run through before hand to make sure we all like it.

TomAz
05-31-2013, 08:29 AM
And the reading comprehension award goes to...






fwiw, it looks to me like your avatar has a mustache.

footixy
05-31-2013, 08:33 AM
http://www.hair-removal-world.com/images/products/nads_hair_removal_1_69842.jpg

algunz
05-31-2013, 08:46 AM
But awesome pic- because the theme of my friend's wedding is adventure. The groom is dino junkie, and my friend is a nature fairy. The invitations have the mountains with a little dino holding a flower. It's endearing. hahah the boys are wearing something similar to that, although us girls are going for polka dots and burnt orange. (whatever, it's utah.)


How old are your friends?

djbionik
05-31-2013, 08:51 AM
ahem... its easier to admit I have a mustache than that we are in our 30s for some reason.

algunz
05-31-2013, 08:53 AM
. . . :)

chiapet
05-31-2013, 09:26 AM
1) Hanging out with someone and then complaining behind their back that they are annoying is not being compassionate or finding the good in someone. It's being catty. So you can either own that, and continue hanging out with her, and continue complaining about her, or you could just ditch her and find better friends. It's as easy as -- when the topic of Coachella comes up next year -- telling her you've already made other plans.

2) For some of the weddings I've been in, the bride did want all the bridesmaids to get their hair done together. I agree you need to openly discuss in advance whether having a specific hair style, and whether getting your hair done together / by her people is a big deal. You would hope that a bride-to-be would take into consideration whether her bridesmaids can afford the dress, shoes, hair appointments that she wants, but bridezillas can be a *little* self-involved. If she's adamant on having her person do it or getting your hair done together, you might want to just tell her directly that you can't afford it and see what she says. Otherwise, tell her you'll take care of it yourself but ask if there is a specific style she does, or does not, want, and offer to show her pictures of choices in advance. It may seem ridiculous, but it's her wedding and if you pick an awful hairstyle, she will be reminded of it in her wedding photos forever.

(For what it's worth, every time my friends have made me use their hairdresser, my hair turned out really really hideously....)

3) Mustaches: I had to come clean on this one last week. My "mustache" is not as bad as my female relatives', thank god, but I know it's there so I get my lip waxed. Unfortunately sometimes when I get it waxed, my skin gets irritated (especially if I can't come home and clean my face right away), and I get little pimples above my lip. Last week I got THREE of them. They always go away in a day or two, but in the mean time, people thought I was getting cold sores all over my mouth. What's worse? Telling people "Oh no, it's just irritation from getting my lip waxed" or letting them think you have a bunch of cold sores?

algunz
05-31-2013, 09:32 AM
Lip waxed unless you're trying to get out of a kiss.

Godspeed
05-31-2013, 09:39 AM
tl;dr.

amyzzz
05-31-2013, 09:58 AM
That sucks, Heidi.

Per my dermatologist's recommendation, I stoppped taking antibiotic Doryx about 5 weeks ago, and my acne came back this week with a vengeance, so I have to get back on it. Those pills are hard to choke down too. Ugh. It figures it happens when I'm dating someone.

Neighborhood Creep
05-31-2013, 10:57 AM
For you wrinked ladies of the board. My ex's mom used a product for one month called Nirium. Anyone ever hear of it? Here's her real results. (age 54)
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/v/974009_602832746394294_1075076070_n.jpg?oh=ade7165 51bf58aed3354a80f35cfb5c3&oe=51AABE0C&__gda__=1370193952_bc7781b4489f7f9eeaf9c4b47e0e76f 3

amyzzz
05-31-2013, 10:58 AM
Nice results.

algunz
05-31-2013, 11:08 AM
How long has she been using it? I got some of this from one of Izzy's classmates parents. It's a pyramid scheme, but the stuff seems to work. I've only been using it for a few days.

algunz
05-31-2013, 11:09 AM
The stuff is not cheap.

beckamarsch
05-31-2013, 11:09 AM
WOW $110 a bottle...maybe after Coachella lol

chiapet
05-31-2013, 11:13 AM
For you wrinked ladies of the board

What are you trying to tell us, Creep?

ENluv12
05-31-2013, 02:28 PM
So, after doing even more investigation on weddings I have decided I want a morning ceremony around 11 and reception at 12. I think it would be cool to do it earlier and serve mimosas and brunch buffet style. It will also save a TON.

TomAz
05-31-2013, 02:33 PM
dXpVMWo3pKg

o-GyRNmk3gg

fR_acXVEdOA

algunz
05-31-2013, 02:48 PM
How long has she been using it?

Sorry, I missed the one month part. I'll keep using it. I forgot to take a before picture. I gotta do that when I get home. The stuff is weird though. You need to put it on while your face is still wet and that always feels awkward.

HAIRYGOOMBA
05-31-2013, 03:54 PM
I am pretty wrinkley, but won't go near the Nerium. All that glop in a bottle stuff is pretty dumb.

miscorrections
06-02-2013, 12:13 PM
Fucking christ Plan B is expensive.

algunz
06-02-2013, 12:19 PM
Oops.

Yes, but it's worth the sense of comfort. The nausea was horrible though.

miscorrections
06-02-2013, 12:25 PM
I don't get nauseous, I'm just mad about the price. Still better than a $700 abortion down the line, though, so I should probably shut up.

algunz
06-02-2013, 12:29 PM
It's been a long time since I took it. Definitely before it became OC.

Courtney
06-02-2013, 01:47 PM
Fucking christ Plan B is expensive.

There's a $10 off printable coupon on the Plan B website. Planned Parenthood also offers it on a sliding scale payment, but it's a Sunday so that makes it a no-go for today.

miscorrections
06-02-2013, 02:27 PM
Thanks for the tip! I don't plan to make it a regular habit, but good to know about the coupon.

thelastgreatman
06-02-2013, 02:30 PM
I have a trough of it in my boudoir--if you're ever hurting for cash we can do a little trade action.

Courtney
06-02-2013, 03:11 PM
Thanks for the tip! I don't plan to make it a regular habit, but good to know about the coupon.

Yeah. Part of my ongoing PP training is a ton of useless facts, but occasionally one or two is actually interesting/applicable, so BRING ON THE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH INFO.

miscorrections
06-03-2013, 05:12 PM
Kyle MacLachlan is doing an appearance at a diner/bar near my house tonight. On the one hand, KYLE MACHLACHLAN. On the other hand, it will be extremely crowded and probably kind of a nightmare scene. Decisions are terrible.

amyzzz
06-03-2013, 05:42 PM
Go!

guedita
06-03-2013, 06:17 PM
Yeah. Part of my ongoing PP training is a ton of useless facts, but occasionally one or two is actually interesting/applicable, so BRING ON THE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH INFO.

Ongoing PP training? What you up to?

amma_sol
06-03-2013, 10:19 PM
Question for you ladies... Does anyone know a home remedy for getting hair dye out?? I got turquoise in my hair and it has faded to the point where it looks like I just went swimming too much in a pool. I'm allergic to bleach/lifters so I can't get it taken out. Well, unless I want hives. Suggestions??

keeshonjohnson
06-04-2013, 02:35 AM
Sometimes clarifying shampoos will help to lift colour out. The ones meant for blondes that swim a lot. I have also used my kids anti-lice shampoo with some success, it is called Fairy Tales.

Mugwog
06-04-2013, 02:45 AM
I don't get nauseous, I'm just mad about the price. Still better than a $700 abortion down the line, though, so I should probably shut up.

You'd think the gentlemen would have been kind enough to pay for his actions. Pull out for fuck's sake.

Squeaks
06-04-2013, 08:01 AM
Question for you ladies... Does anyone know a home remedy for getting hair dye out?? I got turquoise in my hair and it has faded to the point where it looks like I just went swimming too much in a pool. I'm allergic to bleach/lifters so I can't get it taken out. Well, unless I want hives. Suggestions??

The only way to completely get it out is with bleach. You could use a mixture of shampoo and baking soda. You have to really scrub with it and it will help it to fade. You can also color over it with a darker color

amma_sol
06-04-2013, 08:17 AM
The only way to completely get it out is with bleach. You could use a mixture of shampoo and baking soda. You have to really scrub with it and it will help it to fade. You can also color over it with a darker color

I will try the baking soda thing thanks! I have pretty blonde hair and i just want it to go back to my natural color. My friend warned me it would take forever to come out cuz my hair is so light but i didn't listen! This is what i get.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 08:19 AM
Yea, it's really not going to get back to true blonde without being stripped because of the blue undertones of the dye you applied. It may lighten enough that you don't mind the color though.

ENluv12
06-04-2013, 08:25 AM
I assume you can't put blonde high lights over it? I guess that would require bleach?

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:27 AM
Ladies, what say you: how much arm hair is too much? At what point in length/density/darkness does it require waxing?

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:28 AM
Question for you ladies... Does anyone know a home remedy for getting hair dye out?? I got turquoise in my hair and it has faded to the point where it looks like I just went swimming too much in a pool. I'm allergic to bleach/lifters so I can't get it taken out. Well, unless I want hives. Suggestions??

Scissors.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 08:28 AM
On women or men?

Squeaks
06-04-2013, 08:28 AM
I assume you can't put blonde high lights over it? I guess that would require bleach?

She could highlight it without getting irritated because the bleach wouldn't touch the scalp.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:29 AM
On women or men?

On women. I feel like I'm sort of borderline -- my arm hair is pretty much blonde, but there is a decent amount of it.

ENluv12
06-04-2013, 08:30 AM
Ladies, what say you: how much arm hair is too much? At what point in length/density/darkness does it require waxing?

it depends where I think.

ENluv12
06-04-2013, 08:30 AM
On women. I feel like I'm sort of borderline -- my arm hair is pretty much blonde, but there is a decent amount of it.

I have never been bothered by arm hair personally. I don't think it is that big of a deal unless it really bothers you.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 08:31 AM
Are we now worried about arm hair too? Ugh.

I do have a friend who grows very long black arm hair, if that were the case I would consider waxing it, but it would take a lot for me to take that step. We already have to worry about armpits, brows, legs and vagina. It has to end somewhere.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:32 AM
Shave your arms if they're hairy, ladies. Shave anything aside from the top of your head if it's hairy, for that matter.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:32 AM
Arm hair doesn't generally doesn't bother me, but I had a professional breakfast this morning with a woman with LOTS of very dark arm hair on pale skin, and her blouse's sleeves were rolled up, and it really detracted from my ability to be able to concentrate on what she was saying because it was such a noticeable feature.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:33 AM
Shave your arms if they're hairy, ladies. Shave anything aside from the top of your head if it's hairy, for that matter.

I don't care what you think. This is not an opportunity for men to tell women how to groom themselves. Get out.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:34 AM
Arm hair doesn't generally doesn't bother me, but I had a professional breakfast this morning with a woman with LOTS of very dark arm hair on pale skin, and her blouse's sleeves were rolled up, and it really detracted from my ability to be able to concentrate on what she was saying because it was such a noticeable feature.

I laughed.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:35 AM
OUT.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 08:35 AM
If it's really dark and long, and changes the actual color of my arms, then I would do it. If you shave it though, you will end up with courser/darker hair. I think would rather have softer/longer hair on my arms than have to worry about a 5 oclock shadow.

ENluv12
06-04-2013, 08:36 AM
I don't care what you think. This is not an opportunity for men to tell women how to groom themselves. Get out.

Glad someone else said it. I don't shave areas for others pleasure.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:37 AM
I don't care what you think. This is not an opportunity for men to tell women how to groom themselves. Get out.
Rather than argue with you, I'll just say that you're right and that women are free to do whatever you want with themselves. If someone doesn't like it, then move along.

With that being said, the preference, and I know I speak for a lot of men when I say this, is that less hair is better.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:37 AM
OUTTTTTT

locachica73
06-04-2013, 08:40 AM
Glad someone else said it. I don't shave areas for others pleasure.

I don't shave them for my own pleasure either. It's more because it's the normal way of things now. If I had my way I would throw my razor away and never look back.

amma_sol
06-04-2013, 08:41 AM
I assume you can't put blonde high lights over it? I guess that would require bleach?

I got highlights once (after i dyed my hair brown...) and I got hives.


Scissors.

If all else fails...


Rather than argue with you, I'll just say that you're right and that women are free to do whatever you want with themselves. If someone doesn't like it, then move along.

With that being said, the preference, and I know I speak for a lot of men when I say this, is that less hair is better.

Ya well we don't like back hair so please wax that shit. Its gross. Along with neck hair. Keep that trimmed.

guedita
06-04-2013, 08:42 AM
In 7th grade this guy told my friend that he would never date me because my arms were too hairy. So I started shaving my arms. Fun fact, he was my high school boyfriend, but by the time highschool rolled around, and well after my mom caught me shaving my arms and flipped out, I wasn't shaving them anymore. They were, and continue to be hairy, but blonde -- so only super noticeable when the light catches, but I still have latent insecurities that bubble up every now and again from that one comment he made.

In the last year, I started waxing them again with NADS, then letting it grow out and stay hairy for a while, then waxing them again. I'm inconsistent with it, and there are often just patches of hair that I miss when I'm too lazy or forgetful to wax the whole arm. I don't really give a fuck, though I sincerely wish that I hadn't SHAVED them when I was so young, because waxing them totally makes the hair finer and more sparse.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:42 AM
Ya well we don't like back hair so please wax that shit. Its gross. Along with neck hair. Keep that trimmed.

Absolutely. Even chest hair can be gross.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:43 AM
As noted above, I mostly just don't want it to be an issue within a business context. I don't want it to be something that people notice and therefore have it distract from more important things like what I'm telling them verbally. And then I was thinking about how that woman either (1) is taking an intentional stand in choosing not to remove, or (2) is totally oblivious.

guedita
06-04-2013, 08:44 AM
Ya well we don't like back hair so please wax that shit. Its gross. Along with neck hair. Keep that trimmed.

This is not universally true.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:45 AM
Absolutely. Even chest hair can be gross.

GET THE FUCK OUT.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:45 AM
In 7th grade this guy told my friend that he would never date me because my arms were too hairy. So I started shaving my arms. Fun fact, he was my high school boyfriend, but by the time highschool rolled around, and well after my mom caught me shaving my arms and flipped out, I wasn't shaving them anymore. They were, and continue to be hairy, but blonde -- so only super noticeable when the light catches, but I still have latent insecurities that bubble up every now and again from that one comment he made.

In the last year, I started waxing them again with NADS, then letting it grow out and stay hairy for a while, then waxing them again. I'm inconsistent with it, and there are often just patches of hair that I miss when I'm too lazy or forgetful to wax the whole arm. I don't really give a fuck, though I sincerely wish that I hadn't SHAVED them when I was so young, because waxing them totally makes the hair finer and more sparse.
I'm not sure why parent's would get upset about this. I am not a parent so I probably don't know the reason yet, but I don't know if I'd care if my daughter was shaving her arms because she felt they were hairy.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:45 AM
GET THE FUCK OUT.
U SOUND MAD BRO

amma_sol
06-04-2013, 08:45 AM
This is not universally true.

Well it's not universally true about guys not liking hair.

lessatot
06-04-2013, 08:46 AM
i'm lucky to be blessed with very fine, almost invisible hair on my arms and legs. my momma's got good genes:)

but generally, arm hair doesn't really bother me that much. Except if it's wiry like this:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BigDy65ooo8/T2EuVBPlyKI/AAAAAAAAAHA/iNsgGa0bCxA/s1600/Splenda_Left_Arm_Hair_Loss.JPG

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:46 AM
U SOUND MAD BRO

Check the title of the thread, bro.

guedita
06-04-2013, 08:48 AM
Courtney: Godspeed's our new variety of Zafocaine. Asking politely for him to shut the fuck up is as useless as pointing out how insufferable he is.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 08:49 AM
Courtney using the word bro made me snort.

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I have met you and your beautiful smile totally distracts from any hair you may or may not have on your arms.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 08:50 AM
I used to be extremely sensitive about my arm hair, while there wasn't a ton of it, it was black so it was really noticeable. I tried shaving it when I was in 7th grade (this must be a puberty thing), that obviously is a stupid idea. When I was in high school and college, I bleached it so at least it was blonde. At some point, it just started growing in a lot lighter and a lot sparser. I've probably damaged the follicles with the bleaching. :P

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:51 AM
Well it's not universally true about guys not liking hair.

People need to relax.

I used phrases such as "a lot of men" etc... to show that I wasn't speaking from objectivity, Courtney. So chill out.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:51 AM
Courtney: Godspeed's our new variety of Zafocaine. Asking politely for him to shut the fuck up is as useless as pointing out how insufferable he is.
Don't you dare compare me to zafo. He's the worst.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 08:51 AM
I'm not sure why parent's would get upset about this. I am not a parent so I probably don't know the reason yet, but I don't know if I'd care if my daughter was shaving her arms because she felt they were hairy.

Well, firstly because it's concerning that your 7th grade daughter would start shaving unusual body parts due to feeling insecure about her appearance, and secondly, because shaving is absolutely the wrong answer, the hair grows back coarser and it's worse than the initial problem was.

guedita
06-04-2013, 08:53 AM
My mother was anti-leg shaving, anti-eye brow waxing, anti-all body hair removal for some strange and never explained reason and it caused countless screaming arguments. I think she had a minor heart attack when she helped me take a shower after my knee surgery at age 16 and saw my pubic hair. Her removing/hiding razors was a strange permanent fixture of my teenage years. My dad yelling at me for using his razor was a subsequent thing.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 08:54 AM
It will happen though, especially if you have a daughter who has older friends. My daughter started shaving her legs and arms at 11 because of the older neighborhood girls. She has grown out of it though, now she barely even shaves under her arms. She is a hippy at heart.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:54 AM
Well, firstly because it's concerning that your 7th grade daughter would start shaving unusual body parts due to feeling insecure about her appearance, and secondly, because shaving is absolutely the wrong answer, the hair grows back coarser and it's worse than the initial problem was.
That's true. I mean, if it made her happy and it wasn't damning to her future, then I dont see why not. Maybe a professional wax, idk. Seventh grade is pretty young, so I can't make that call lol That would be her mom's call.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:55 AM
Ladies, by having a dialogue with gentlemen in this thread, you are encouraging them to post more. This thread is intended to be a safe space for discussion among women, not a place where guys come and tell women how to think/act/dress/whatever. If you would like to make that a thing, feel free to start a new thread.

Robin
06-04-2013, 08:55 AM
As noted above, I mostly just don't want it to be an issue within a business context. I don't want it to be something that people notice and therefore have it distract from more important things like what I'm telling them verbally. And then I was thinking about how that woman either (1) is taking an intentional stand in choosing not to remove, or (2) is totally oblivious.

Something will always be a distraction though, whether it's someone's arm hair or the size of your breasts or, like Audra said, a smile. What may be distracting to you, may not be distracting to other people. I used to be distracted by a coworker's eyebrows before. In what way does a person have to appear to make sure that he/she will not be distracting to everyone?
Someone, please post a picture of the "perfect business wo/man."

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 08:57 AM
Ladies, by having a dialogue with gentlemen in this thread, you are encouraging them to post more. This thread is intended to be a safe space for discussion among women, not a place where guys come and tell women how to think/act/dress/whatever. If you would like to make that a thing, feel free to start a new thread.
Courtney, I think you are being hyper sensitive to what I said. I may have come in here and said something that offended you, and I apologize for that, but I really do think you need to relax and stop being so protective of your thread.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 09:01 AM
Something will always be a distraction though, whether it's someone's arm hair or the size of your breasts or, like Audra said, a smile. What may be distracting to you, may not be distracting to other people. I used to be distracted by a coworker's eyebrows before. In what way does a person have to appear to make sure that he/she will not be distracting to everyone?
Someone, please post a picture of the "perfect business wo/man."

Robin, I think this is a really good point, and in an ideal world it wouldn't matter what any of us look like in terms of our ability to do business. However, we don't live in an ideal world and people ARE human and DO get distracted. I respect people who choose to go against certain norms due to a desire to subvert whatever cultural expectations we may have. I guess I just feel like I already have enough mountains to climb personally without putting up yet another barrier to my success.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 09:03 AM
My mother was anti-leg shaving, anti-eye brow waxing, anti-all body hair removal for some strange and never explained reason and it caused countless screaming arguments. I think she had a minor heart attack when she helped me take a shower after my knee surgery at age 16 and saw my pubic hair. Her removing/hiding razors was a strange permanent fixture of my teenage years. My dad yelling at me for using his razor was a subsequent thing.

Is your mother a former hippie? My mother did not tweeze her eyebrows until she was like 40 for this reason. But she was never super militant about it, and was fine with me making whatever grooming decisions I desired. Growing up in your family's household sounds stressful.

guedita
06-04-2013, 09:06 AM
Is your mother a former hippie? My mother did not tweeze her eyebrows until she was like 40 for this reason. But she was never super militant about it, and was fine with me making whatever grooming decisions I desired. Growing up in your family's household sounds stressful.

No, she's just an uptight bitch.

guedita
06-04-2013, 09:07 AM
Though she's always bleached her dark haired upper lip, so it's not as if she's unaware of issues about body hair and appearance. Mothers. So bizarre.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 09:07 AM
Super bizarre.

casey
06-04-2013, 09:08 AM
My mom was the same way for whatever reason. She didn't want me to shave. I would go to my friend's house and use NAIR because then it wasn't really "shaving". My mom also didn't think "virgins" should wear tampons so she would only buy me maxipads even into high school and I would steal her tampons and then she would notice, leading into the inevitable lecture about toxic shock syndrome and loose vaginas.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 09:09 AM
I think as a mother it's more of seeing your daughter growing up way too fast. I wanted my daughter to continue playing with dolls and watching Scooby Doo, not shaving her legs at 11 and worrying about what boys and other girls thought of her.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 09:10 AM
I don't want guys posting in here all the time, but isn't it better for them to understand why we react negatively to the flippant attitude about this stuff?

Girls are put through a tremendous amount of pressure to conform to specific ideals of physical attractiveness. It starts at an incredibly young age. What parent consciously wishes that on their daughter? (I know some of our mothers unconsciously pushed these ideals on us). Also with the shaving specifically, especially legs & pubic hair & such, it's not just simple grooming, but sexualization. Women can say they groom for themselves, not for others, but let's be honest that a 7th grader is doing it to fit in with what she feels is expected (and more specifically is trying to be more adult/mature than she is). It's no wonder that our mothers freaked out over this stuff.

Edit: my mom was a hippie but also a southern gal.... so she was SUPER into grooming, she just was really dismayed that I started shaving my legs without talking to her first, and when she found out I was shaving pubes too, she flipped.

The only hairy hippie in the house was me... at one point when I was like 16 or 17, I got really pissed off at her constantly nagging me to wear makeup and style my hair in a fussy way (she was one of those moms who never left the house "without her face on," and I went on strike and stopped shaving for months. In retrospect, it was actually pretty gross.

Robin
06-04-2013, 09:14 AM
Robin, I think this is a really good point, and in an ideal world it wouldn't matter what any of us look like in terms of our ability to do business. However, we don't live in an ideal world and people ARE human and DO get distracted. I respect people who choose to go against certain norms due to a desire to subvert whatever cultural expectations we may have. I guess I just feel like I already have enough mountains to climb personally without putting up yet another barrier to my success.
Unless you're Paris Hilton, we all have barriers to climb over. It took me a long time to get to where I am now. I've been rejected from positions just because I look young, even though I have the experience. When did it become a norm to not have hairy arms in the work place, anyways? It may be your responsibility to relay important business information in a manner that is professional, but it is also the other person's responsibility to listen.

Godspeed
06-04-2013, 09:15 AM
I don't want guys posting in here all the time, but isn't it better for them to understand why we react negatively to the flippant attitude about this stuff?

Girls are put through a tremendous amount of pressure to conform to specific ideals of physical attractiveness. It starts at an incredibly young age. What parent consciously wishes that on their daughter? (I know some of our mothers unconsciously pushed these ideals on us). Also with the shaving specifically, especially legs & pubic hair & such, it's not just simple grooming, but sexualization. Women can say they groom for themselves, not for others, but let's be honest that a 7th grader is doing it to fit in with what she feels is expected (and more specifically is trying to be more adult/mature than she is). It's no wonder that our mothers freaked out over this stuff.

Edit: my mom was a hippie but also a southern gal.... so she was SUPER into grooming, she just was really dismayed that I started shaving my legs without talking to her first, and when she found out I was shaving pubes too, she flipped.

The only hairy hippie in the house was me... at one point when I was like 16 or 17, I got really pissed off at her constantly nagging me to wear makeup and style my hair in a fussy way (she was one of those moms who never left the house "without her face on," and I went on strike and stopped shaving for months. In retrospect, it was actually pretty gross.

Thank you for putting it in a succinct and cogent manner. That helps explain a lot, and I am now aware as to why Courtney felt offended by my initial statement.

I apologize, Courtney. I sometimes forget how much pressure is put on women to be conform to societal ideals. No one should run up in here and tell you what they want. That was stupid of me, and I'll let you continue your discussion without rudely interrupting.

ThatGirl
06-04-2013, 09:16 AM
I think as a mother it's more of seeing your daughter growing up way too fast. I wanted my daughter to continue playing with dolls and watching Scooby Doo, not shaving her legs at 11 and worrying about what boys and other girls thought of her.

When I was in grade 6 at age 11, one of my classmates appeared older and was far more developed physically - seemingly more mature than our peers, but we were the same age. When I learned she shaved her legs I was shocked. She made me feel like a misfit and totally unsophisticated for not doing a full head to toe grooming at age 11. My parents didn't let me consider shaving until I was 13 but the pressure was there even before we were out of elementary school.

guedita
06-04-2013, 09:17 AM
I agree that fear of sexualization or growing up too fast was likely a primary concern of my mom's policing my body, but a more healthy approach would have been a rational discussion. I mean, I remember crying and screaming profusely and showing her how the hair on my legs/arms made me feel awful and unpretty, and her reaction just being like, "Well, you shouldn't care." That's not productive -- girls at that age are going to car, no matter what. Grounding them for secretly shaving their legs is absurd.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 09:20 AM
I agree with you Cara, that is a horrible way to go about it. I was a younger mother, so I remembered how it felt to be a young girl in similar situations and tried to handle it accordingly. My mother was a lot like yours, she didn't understand, or tried not to understand, and everything was an arguement. You should do this, you shouldn't care about that, etc. As if we have control over that, especially as a young girl.

Robin
06-04-2013, 09:21 AM
Girls are put through a tremendous amount of pressure to conform to specific ideals of physical attractiveness. It starts at an incredibly young age. What parent consciously wishes that on their daughter? (I know some of our mothers unconsciously pushed these ideals on us).


Both my parents always tried to push the physical aspects of life on me. They always said, "What would people think when they see you?!" It can take a toll on a lot of people. I started wearing cover up at age 13. My mom was the one that recommended I started to shave my legs. My parents both told me that I should dress nicer and wear better fitted clothing. When I started wearing size 5/6 pants, my mom told me that I getting fat and that I should work out. Of course, I didn't like any of that, so in high school, I always wore super baggy clothes, had weird haircuts, wore all those chained accessories, etc. They were not pleased.

guedita
06-04-2013, 09:25 AM
It's weird thinking back to what even being at that age was like. My friend's daughter just turned 12, and she's started shaving her legs. She worries about how hairy her arms are (she's half latina) and wears long sleeved shirts or sweatshirts to cover it. Her and her friends are at that stage where they are sort of boy crazy, which she tells me about, but it's still so innocent ("so-and-so are super serious, they've actually made out and they hold hands ALL the time"). From what I've seen, her desire to remove body hair is at this stage completely unrelated to any idea that she's going to start becoming sexually active, but it is about becoming comfortable and confident with her body.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
06-04-2013, 09:27 AM
There are definitely huge cultural differences when it comes to grooming. I dated a girl who had a Korean mother, and her mother was extremely bossy and pushy about that kind of stuff. By the time I met her, this girl was shaving literally her entire body except for her head, including her arms, and she straightened her wavy hair every day. Her mother had really ingrained this crazy regimen into her head.

beckamarsch
06-04-2013, 09:37 AM
Both my parents always tried to push the physical aspects of life on me. They always said, "What would people think when they see you?!" It can take a toll on a lot of people. I started wearing cover up at age 13. My mom was the one that recommended I started to shave my legs. My parents both told me that I should dress nicer and wear better fitted clothing. When I started wearing size 5/6 pants, my mom told me that I getting fat and that I should work out. Of course, I didn't like any of that, so in high school, I always wore super baggy clothes, had weird haircuts, wore all those chained accessories, etc. They were not pleased.

My grandmother (lived with them) was like this. Always commenting on my weight (Though I was skinny until I had kids!) and making remarks thinking she was trying to help me. I think its why I have the self esteem issues I do. I just hope I am doing a better job with my 10 yr old...so far I think so good!

amyzzz
06-04-2013, 09:39 AM
My older daughter is adamant that she will never shave any body hair. She actually cares too little about what other people think, and it's a struggle every day for me to get her to shower. All I said to her is that when she gets armpit hair she might want to shave that.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 09:39 AM
Ah, see, quite a few of my friends looked really mature and were already having sex in the 7th grade. (Two of my friends were having sex when they were 11. ELEVEN. And one of my good friends had a baby when she was 13, for god's sake). I don't blame my mother for freaking out, but the way she handled it was poor. While I'm not saying that shaving means the girl is considering becoming sexually active, I do think it's to a large degree an attempt to feel more sexually attractive. They may not yet think of it as sexual attractiveness, but it is with the intent of wanting others to be romantically interested in them.

It was a very weird mixed message for me as my mom really, really freaked out over shaving and tampons specifically but put a lot of pressure on me to use makeup and to dress in more fitted or more revealing clothes. In retrospect, I think she both was afraid of me growing up too quickly and becoming sexually active, but also so fully prescribed to the notion that you have to look a certain way that she had trouble reconciling what she wanted for me. While she didn't want me to be sexually active, she did want me to be found as attractive as possible to men. Her efforts actually backfired, she encouraged me to dress in clothes that were actually pretty skanky even when I was in junior high, and I would rebel and wear bizarre (and usually shapeless things).

I have still never lived down the more or less nipple baring dress that my parents let me wear to a school recital when I was 13. Like, it's been 20+ years and my school friends will still bring this up any time they start telling old stories. People thought I was slutty for a long time without me ever actually *doing* anything. Thanks, mom.

casey
06-04-2013, 09:45 AM
It was a very weird mixed message for me as my mom really, really freaked out over shaving and tampons specifically but put a lot of pressure on me to use makeup and to dress in more fitted or more revealing clothes. In retrospect, I think she both was afraid of me growing up too quickly and becoming sexually active, but also so fully prescribed to the notion that you have to look a certain way that she had trouble reconciling what she wanted for me.

This was my mom! Teaching me about makeup, hair, clothes, proper ways to be a lady -- but no shaving and definitely no tampons. She is the type of person who would wake me up and have me "get ready for the day" even if I wasn't going anywhere or doing anything. She talks shit about anyone who looks grubby in a store. My mom's favorite phrase after saying something mean to me like, "You really need to lose weight, you're flabby." or "Those jeans look really bad on you, you should have worn a skirt." was always, "Casey, if your mom can't tell you the truth about how you look, who can?"

amyzzz
06-04-2013, 09:47 AM
Weird moms in here. I don't rememeber my mom ever saying anything about it. I would use my sister's razor to shave my arm pits until finally I had my mom buy me my own razor. I don't think I shaved my legs for a long time, but I didn't really date much until I was in my 20s, so I shaved my legs then.

beckamarsch
06-04-2013, 09:50 AM
Weird moms in here. I don't rememeber my mom ever saying anything about it. I would use my sister's razor to shave my arm pits until finally I had my mom buy me my own razor. I don't think I shaved my legs for a long time, but I didn't really date much until I was in my 20s, so I shaved my legs then.

It may have a lot to do with their own self esteem. Just a guess. I think that was the reason for my grandmother anyway! Or the way they were brought up. I just know I refuse to do that to my daughter...though my 13yr old son insists she's fat...the girl is a toothpick!!! He's just being a mean brother. And yes. I yell at him for it. :( (she is my only girl of 4)

chiapet
06-04-2013, 09:56 AM
I used to blame my mom for fucking me up, but as I got older, I realized so much of what she did came from her own poor self-worth. By trying to force certain things like makeup, hair straightening, excessive dieting, etc, on me, she thought she was making me more conventionally attractive. My mom was pretty hot but thought she was ugly, and she really did think she was "saving" me from feeling unattractive or being unpopular. It wasn't until I was in my mid-20's that she realized how much damage she had done. But by then it was hard to be angry with her about it, because I realized how unhappy she had been with herself.

amyzzz
06-04-2013, 09:56 AM
Yeah, my older daughter (who is slender like me) tells my younger daughter (who is more round) that she is fat all the time. She is not fat; she just has a different body type. It makes me angry that she does that.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 09:57 AM
It may have a lot to do with their own self esteem. Just a guess. I think that was the reason for my grandmother anyway! Or the way they were brought up. I just know I refuse to do that to my daughter

That is good to hear. It really grates me when I see mothers being too critical of their daughters... or of themselves in front of their daughters. Your child probably resembles you, at least in some ways, so when women pick themselves apart, they are instilling the same insecurities in their daughters.

beckamarsch
06-04-2013, 10:01 AM
That is good to hear. It really grates me when I see mothers being too critical of their daughters... or of themselves in front of their daughters. Your child probably resembles you, at least in some ways, so when women pick themselves apart, they are instilling the same insecurities in their daughters.

She's got amazing self esteem :) I hope it stays that way. She is going into 5th...I know there is more pressure on girls as they get older. It scares me. I was always skinny (until kids, but I am still working on that lol) but I don't FEEL overweight. :)

guedita
06-04-2013, 10:07 AM
I realized so much of what she did came from her own poor self-worth.

I realized this about my mom at an early age, and knew at the time that part of her policing my body was a part of her excessive need to control ("parent") every aspect of my life, because she gave up a rewarding career to "be a mother." I'm glad that in the last few years she's actually devoted some time to you know, being an autonomous person and doing things that interest her besides keeping a close watch over me and my brother, but it was definitely a strenuous environment to be raised in.

Robin
06-04-2013, 10:13 AM
I think my parents were just trying to push me to be attractive so I can find a man, get married and give them grandbabies at a young age (22ish). It might be a cultural thing. They pretty much have given up on the idea of me getting married, and they're actually quite disappointed that I haven't had babies, yet. When I was 27, my dad got a little drunk and told me that I was getting old, then complained that I didn't have any kids.

locachica73
06-04-2013, 10:27 AM
Weird, I get drunk and tell my kids to never have children. ;)

chiapet
06-04-2013, 11:44 AM
Hah, Robin, we've talked about this. In my (part Sicilian, part southern conservative) family, they were somewhat disappointed that I went to college and decided to have a career rather than getting married at a very young age. It has been a good thing though, I've been lucky to become a lot more successful than the majority of my (older) family and now they are putting less pressure on my younger female cousins.

ThatGirl
06-04-2013, 11:46 AM
Yeah, my older daughter (who is slender like me) tells my younger daughter (who is more round) that she is fat all the time. She is not fat; she just has a different body type. It makes me angry that she does that.

I was always a very stocky and had a muscular frame, and it never bothered me until I got teased in the 7th grade about how muscular my legs were. I certainly wasn't fat, but it made me so self-conscious I hid under big, baggy clothes for years and never revealed my limbs. It was sad that one flippant comment from a stupid kid would have that kind of impact on how I felt about myself. I am more comfortable in my own skin now than I used to be, but still not completely secure with how I look. I can certainly slim down when I work at it, but my body type is what it is.

chiapet
06-04-2013, 11:59 AM
I realized this about my mom at an early age, and knew at the time that part of her policing my body was a part of her excessive need to control ("parent") every aspect of my life, because she gave up a rewarding career to "be a mother."

Yea, and I think in general exerting an excessive amount of control over some area of your life can be a way of trying to cope with feelings or circumstances that feel out of your control. When I look back, I really don't know how I broke out of that cycle. It seems like it's all or nothing with me, either I'm completely regimented or I just give up on myself. I was lucky to have some teachers at school who kept an eye on me, because my parents weren't doing anything to stop me from hurting myself.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 12:00 PM
Your child probably resembles you, at least in some ways, so when women pick themselves apart, they are instilling the same insecurities in their daughters.

YES. This times a million. I wish more mothers realized this, and it kills me when I see moms criticizing themselves in front of their daughters.

On one hand, I feel really lucky that appearance was never a thing for either of my parents -- they were really good about praising other attributes (intelligence, kindness, etc.) rather than emphasizing physical aspects. Although, on the other hand, I have always in the top quartile for BMI since I was an infant, and I sometimes wonder if in their efforts to de-emphasize physical appearance while I was growing up, they actually did my a disservice in terms of not emphasizing being a healthy weight. Being a good parent is freaking difficult.

KooKoo Banana Funtime
06-04-2013, 12:11 PM
Hay Grrls,

Do these yellow High waisted jean shorts make me look fat?

beckamarsch
06-04-2013, 12:16 PM
This is my girl :) Her brother needs new glasses apparently :)

http://i41.tinypic.com/rkc291.jpg

KooKoo Banana Funtime
06-04-2013, 12:17 PM
that clock tower is looking phallic.. amirite grrls?

amyzzz
06-04-2013, 12:22 PM
out of the thread, bug

beckamarsch
06-04-2013, 12:23 PM
:troll

KooKoo Banana Funtime
06-04-2013, 12:24 PM
Oh Amy. Je sais que cette banane prendriez-vous vers de nouveaux sommets.

Courtney
06-04-2013, 12:34 PM
And if there was ever any question as to Banana's identity, there should no longer be.

KooKoo Banana Funtime
06-04-2013, 12:42 PM
Courtney would make such a hot spy in a tight black jumpsuit

Mugwog
06-04-2013, 12:50 PM
Courtney would make such a hot spy in a tight black jumpsuit

http://25.media.tumblr.com/b9f9c4c8c286e21a46d819283ab8ff93/tumblr_metl6rUjnt1r7m62no1_400.gif

KooKoo Banana Funtime
06-04-2013, 12:52 PM
Courtney is more like this:


http://www.asergeev.com/pictures/archives/2012/1002/jpeg/03.jpg

Courtney
06-04-2013, 08:32 PM
Remember this? (http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?6480-Dubai)

bmack86
06-04-2013, 10:12 PM
Courtney, just to chime in on the business end: in meetings I've had with fellow employees, superiors and potential people filling my position when I left who were female, the only time I ever even noticed arm hair was when one woman had long, dark hair on her arms, such that it was darker than my admittedly hairy arms. If it's a personal concern then I'd say do what feels comfortable for you, but in a business context I could also see arms frequently being covered by a suit jacket, as is frequently customary in business meetings. And also, as a guy, I can say that I'd rather see arm hair than not unless it makes the woman uncomfortable.

And Amma, what Courtney said. In high school and college I was very blonde and frequently played around with various colors and wanted them gone for interviews. I played with bleach and washing, but the only thing that will really get rid of it is a cut. Bobs and pixie cuts can be super cute!

HowToDisappear
06-04-2013, 10:32 PM
This is weird, because I was just having a very random conversation about arm hair with my husband last night, after seeing one of those ridiculous nono hair removal commercials. Take this with a grain of salt, because this is coming from a woman with virtually no body hair, so this is an issue I would never have myself, but thick, dark arm hair is the one thing I would remove in a heartbeat, if that was an issue for me. I genuinely don't care if a woman has fur on her legs, her pits, her upper lip, whatever. But thick, dark arm hair completely grosses me out. Personally, I think the only way a woman can get away with it is if her hair is so fair that it's virtually unnoticeable. But if it was dark, I'd have it lasered off, if I had to.

Tubesock Shakur
06-04-2013, 11:09 PM
Remember this? (http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?6480-Dubai)

I remember........I. remember. Someday I will live like sheik for one weekend in this glorious city of gluttony.

Robin
06-05-2013, 09:14 AM
I need some remedies.
I've been having a lot of night sweats, to the point where I'm only getting about 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. I also get a lot of hot flashes, and random moments of sweating without even feeling hot.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 09:16 AM
You are far too young to have that issue. Have you talked to your doctor?

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 09:20 AM
That can't be menopause can it? I have not heard of women getting the heat flashes before menopause actually starts... but I am not too in touch with those things ;/

locachica73
06-05-2013, 09:21 AM
It could just be a hormone imbalance, but I would still want to discuss it with a doctor.

Robin
06-05-2013, 09:24 AM
I just assumed these are side effects from the Depo.

algunz
06-05-2013, 09:30 AM
It can also be withdrawal. What are you on??!!!

guedita
06-05-2013, 09:35 AM
It can also be withdrawal. What are you on??!!!

I'll take whatever it is off your hands.

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 09:35 AM
well I did have about 3 different doctors (including one fertility doc) tell me that depo is by far the worst BC that you can be on.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 09:37 AM
I just assumed these are side effects from the Depo.

Depo is high doses of hormones, so it could be that. Especially if you have been on it for a long period of time.

I haven't gotten to the lovely point in life that is night sweats and hot flashes, I am not looking forward to that day.

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 09:37 AM
I'm getting an IUD tomorrow. Woot.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 09:38 AM
Good luck! I hope it is not a painful process. Take lot's of ibuprofen.

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 09:40 AM
Oh yeah oh yeah.. I must remember that.

Robin
06-05-2013, 09:48 AM
well I did have about 3 different doctors (including one fertility doc) tell me that depo is by far the worst BC that you can be on.
How so? I have heard of people gaining a lot of weight and losing their sex drive.
I lost weight after I started it and I don't have much of a sex life.


Depo is high doses of hormones, so it could be that. Especially if you have been on it for a long period of time.

I haven't gotten to the lovely point in life that is night sweats and hot flashes, I am not looking forward to that day.

I've been on it for about 2 years.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 09:54 AM
I would maybe get off of it for a few months. Especially if you aren't having sex anyway. Let your body have a period. It's just a high dose of hormones that confuses your body into thinking it's pregnant, which is why you don't have periods while on it. I was on it for years back when I was married, when I finally quit I didn't get a period until my doctor gave me meds to force my body to have one. I would start there and see if you still have the same problems. It's a good test to make sure everything is still functioning correctly.

scenicworld
06-05-2013, 09:57 AM
have you been getting enough sleep or have you been under a lot of stress? both of those can cause hot flashes, too. sine you've been on depo for 2 years, your hormones should have leveled out by now, but usually they are triggered by a sudden drop of estrogen. as far as remedies for night sweats and hot flashes, thee aren't any that I know of, but showers have helped me from time to time.

Robin
06-05-2013, 10:08 AM
The night sweats keep me from getting enough sleep.
I don't think I've been going through a lot of stress lately... well, not more than usual.
I find myself still sweating when I'm in the shower.
I think I just need a vacation.
Can't wait for the Girly Weekend.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 10:10 AM
Me either, I just noticed on my calendar that I am buying my plane ticket in a couple of weeks. It is getting closer! :)

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 10:12 AM
The doc told me that it isn't good for you. There are a lot of side affects. I forget how he worded it but when I told him I was previously on depo he told me that under no circumstances should I ever take it because it is too hard on your body.

scenicworld
06-05-2013, 10:24 AM
it's the long term use that causes problems (blood clots) and those problems are worse if you smoke.

Robin
06-05-2013, 10:27 AM
Me either, I just noticed on my calendar that I am buying my plane ticket in a couple of weeks. It is getting closer! :)

:) :) I'm really stoked about this. I think the pool bar might be the first thing I check out.


I also hope I'm not on this BC for too long. I do want to find a D to put in my V to make a baby soon.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 10:37 AM
I have thought a lot about this pool bar, I may even take an early flight just so I can prepare the super sexy male bartender that will be there to make sure our drinks are never empty. ;)

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 10:43 AM
pool bar??? I missed that! I need to go look at this place online. Did you guys post the link anywhere?

locachica73
06-05-2013, 10:44 AM
It's in the facebook event invite.

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 10:59 AM
cool I will go look at it. That page got so busy I stopped checking it. hehe

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 11:04 AM
yum, yeah. This is amazing. I never even checked. I just wanted to hang with you lovely ladies!

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:06 AM
My flight is booked and I'm super psyched! I checked out the photos of the resort online, the pool bar does look amazing. It will be blast for sure.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 11:08 AM
I was going to book my flight the weekend I decided to run away to CA. So now it's put off till the end of this month. I also have to buy my son a birthday present. Ugh... Happy birthday son, you get to pay for your mommy's flight to the beach!

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 11:10 AM
I still have a couple of plane tickets to buy as well. argh.

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 11:13 AM
For some reason I thought you guys were driving, although that would be a long ass trip. eek

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 11:20 AM
I made that trip Sunday and Monday.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 11:25 AM
I am getting bored with road trips, I am a horrible passenger so I always end up driving. This time I just want to fly and get drunk on the plane. :)

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:28 AM
It's my plan as well. I know we'll have a car but I think I'd be terrified to drive in California so I'll be a drunk passenger, thank you.

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 11:30 AM
If I get a plane ticket early enough it shouldn't cost too much more than gas and the trips will be substantially shorter, I think.

guedita
06-05-2013, 11:31 AM
Um, this is not the aspect of the trip you ladies need to be planning. Start stockpiling your pill resources for my eventual surprise appearance.

Robin
06-05-2013, 11:32 AM
Southwest is having a sale right now. You can get roundtrip from Phoenix to Orange County for about $185.

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:33 AM
Depo is high doses of hormones, so it could be that. Especially if you have been on it for a long period of time.

I haven't gotten to the lovely point in life that is night sweats and hot flashes, I am not looking forward to that day.

I had to have a medically- induced menopause a few years back. It was hell. And then eventually I'll go through my real one. At least I know what to expect but the thought of having to do it again is nauseating.

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:35 AM
Um, this is not the aspect of the trip you ladies need to be planning. Start stockpiling your pill resources for my eventual surprise appearance.

No surprise...We've already determined you really need to be there, job or not!!!

algunz
06-05-2013, 11:37 AM
I just realized if any of you are getting in early on Thursday or Friday, I won't be able to pick you up until after work.

Robin
06-05-2013, 11:38 AM
I think out of all the people that have already booked flights, we land Thursday evening.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 11:38 AM
Robin, that was the price when I was looking at it a month ago. I am crossing my fingers it will hold out until the end of the month.

Cara, I am already working on that for you (and me).

Marlo, I am a much better passenger when I am drunk, or so I seem to think. The cab drivers always get a kick out of it anyway.

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 11:38 AM
I already have the pills taken care of. I need to get my divorce and living situation sorted out before I can buy plane tickets.

guedita
06-05-2013, 11:39 AM
THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH PILLS

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:40 AM
I'm getting into the OC airport at about 7 pm Thursday night - I had planned on just taking a taxi to the hotel.

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 11:40 AM
Well, I can offer a few.

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 11:41 AM
Does Xanax count, Cara?

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 11:42 AM
I'm getting into the OC airport at about 7 pm Thursday night - I had planned on just taking a taxi to the hotel.

I think I can pick you up.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 11:42 AM
Does Xanax count, Cara?

XANAXXXXXX!!!!!!

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 11:43 AM
I just got a rx for it

Robin
06-05-2013, 11:44 AM
I'm getting into the OC airport at about 7 pm Thursday night - I had planned on just taking a taxi to the hotel.

Let me know if you do plan on going to the hotel first. I don't land until around 8pm, and the reservations are under my name. I can change it to yours, but you would need to submit a credit card when checking in. I can easily change it back to mine when I get there.

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:44 AM
I think I can pick you up.

Oh, that would be great if you can work it out - I'm fine with a cab but of course would love a ride, and to see you greet me when I get there! :)

locachica73
06-05-2013, 11:44 AM
Man, I want to go see your doctor. I need a script for those and vicodin. Xanax is for real anxiety, vicodin is just for fun.

beckamarsch
06-05-2013, 11:45 AM
I already have the pills taken care of. I need to get my divorce and living situation sorted out before I can buy plane tickets.

I need one of those...the divorce that is...:mad:

guedita
06-05-2013, 11:45 AM
Does Xanax count, Cara?

Oh, baby. You don't even know. Just don't let me drown in the pool. Or do. I won't care.

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 11:46 AM
Let me know if you do plan on going to the hotel first. I don't land until around 8pm, and the reservations are under my name. I can change it to yours, but you would need to submit a credit card when checking in. I can easily change it back to mine when I get there.

We'll work this out depending on who gets there first. I have no problem giving them my cc. We should also try and find out if they can give us several keys, or we'll have to designate key masters.

Robin
06-05-2013, 11:46 AM
Will anyone be certified in CPR by the time our trip comes around?

locachica73
06-05-2013, 11:52 AM
I was planning on getting in around 8 as well since that is the first of the cheaper flights. It's going to be rough though, I get off work at 3, I am going to want to get going. Hopefully I will still be sober enough to get on a plane at 6:30.

Courtney
06-05-2013, 12:00 PM
NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE A POOL BAR.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 12:02 PM
COURTNEY!!!! THERE'S A POOL BAR!!!!!!!!!

I am very sad you won't be there, I think you should try to work some magic and come get sloppy by the pool with us.

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 12:05 PM
well, looks like my xanax will be coming with me. I will make sure to refill before we go!

locachica73
06-05-2013, 12:24 PM
Now I just need to find some vicodin. I only have half a one left. :(

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 12:26 PM
I have some. I'll have to count, but I think I have around 5 or so.

ENluv12
06-05-2013, 01:15 PM
For those that will need a ride on Thursday... I am driving up after work that Thursday evening. I get off around 6 so I can be there around 7:30- 8 depending on traffic. Just fyi

ThatGirl
06-05-2013, 01:42 PM
NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE A POOL BAR.

UM I TOLD YOU ON TINYCHAT THERE WOULD BE A POOL BAR.

Robin
06-05-2013, 01:51 PM
I really hope this pool bar has some really sexy topless male bartenders.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 01:54 PM
I think you should put in a request with the reservation.

Robin
06-05-2013, 01:57 PM
We should tell the resort that it's someone's bachelorette party.

locachica73
06-05-2013, 02:00 PM
If I fake being the future bride will they pour booze into my mouth while flexing their muscles? If so, I am totally ready to make the sacrifice and wear a veil and penis whistle necklace.

JustSteve
06-05-2013, 02:04 PM
Where are you ladies going? Maybe I can hide in some bushes and snap some paparazzi style pics for the board?

algunz
06-05-2013, 02:28 PM
We will be just down PCH from you, Steve.


Jacy, make sure you distribute the xans early, so we can get past all that awkward small talk bullshit quick.

Amy, 5 vics? That's not even a buzz.

I can make some calls for topless bartenders. It is the OC.

Robin
06-05-2013, 02:32 PM
I demand topless bartenders in our suites!

algunz
06-05-2013, 02:33 PM
Are you expecting male or female?

amyzzz
06-05-2013, 02:33 PM
Gunz, they have acetaminophin added though. :p I don't know that taking 5 would be a good idea.

Robin
06-05-2013, 02:40 PM
Are you expecting male or female?

Of course male! Make sure he has a smooth chest and a large cock.

algunz
06-05-2013, 02:40 PM
Taking drugs for fun is rarely a "good" idea.

algunz
06-05-2013, 02:41 PM
Of course male! Make sure he has a smooth chest and a large cock.

He'll probably be gay then.