Hi Gabriel!

[tessalasset]

HOTT im going to comic con on saturday. next saturday.

[corbo]

tessa i imagine youre going because of the LOST panel.
what time is that on. im too lazy to look it up.

[J~$$$]

Fantasy football league?

[bug on your lip]

Originally Posted by J~$$$

Fantasy football league?

cool idea

i could use more money for my Challenger downpayment

[J~$$$]

I hope it catches on fire.

[bug on your lip]

in 30 years ?

deal

[tessalasset]

Originally Posted by corbo

tessa i imagine youre going because of the LOST panel.
what time is that on. im too lazy to look it up.

that was why i wanted to go so badly, but my friend looked it up and i actually dont think they're having a lost panel. they are, however, having a kickass heroes panel with practically the entire cast, so i will be at that. really fucking bummed about lost tho. this is my first time going.

[full on idle]

Hey Tessa guess who this isn't about?


Gabe,
Nice movie. Now I want to ask you, what are you projections for the upcoming NFL season for the Giants, the Raiders, the Broncos, the Bengals, the Colts and the Lions. What are you projections, Gabe?

[PotVsKtl]

Where do you think the best place to look for the worm in Tessa's cat is? It's got a worm in it somewhere.

[corbo]

comicon 2007 = nerdfest 2007.

the level of nerdom at that convention is astronomical. prepare to come back broke.

[schoolofruckus]

Originally Posted by full on idle

Gabe,
Nice movie. Now I want to ask you, what are you projections for the upcoming NFL season for the Giants, the Raiders, the Broncos, the Bengals, the Colts and the Lions. What are you projections, Gabe?

Giants: I bet they have a better year than last year. I think Brandon Jacobs is a fantasy steal in the making (maybe I shouldn't say that out loud), and their defense should be healthier. But they still will melt down eventually at the hands of the Eli Manning face.

Raiders: Call me insane, but I think the Raiders could have a 6-7 win season. The Chargers are in a lot worse shape than people think, the Chiefs will easily be the worst team in the division, and well, you'll just have to scroll down to see my ejaculations over the Broncos. The Raiders last year had a legitimately good defense. This year, with a far better coaching staff and a better - if still incomplete - offense, they should take some steps in the right direction. They're still going to get railed six ways from Sunday both times they play Denver, though.

Bengals: This one tears me up. I don't think they've improved much (if at all) during the offseason, having lost Tory James to the Patriots and Chris Henry to suspension. At the same time, I can't help but think that they're a better team than last year's performance showed. Getting Odell Thurman back will help, and Leon Hall could step in and be ready to go right away. They're going to need someone to step up as a 3rd pass-catcher; Henry is a dumbass to be sure, but the kid could legitimately command attention in the secondary. But the biggest problem with the Bengals isn't something they can control; it's that all their competition got legitimately tougher over the summer. The Ravens got McGahee; as much as I hate them, they're going to be even nastier than last year. The Steelers got healthy (Roethlisberger, in particular) and have a new coaching regime that won't overshadow the year with lame-duck status; I'd count on them being much closer to the teams of '04 and '05 than the team that limped through its championship lap last year. The Jets (who beat them out for the wild-card berth last year) added a great running back in Thomas Jones, thus addressing their biggest problem. The Broncos - again, I'll nut over them when the time comes. And overhyped though it may be, let's not forget the rich-got-richer summer that New England had. And so on and so forth. The Bengals, in my opinion, didn't do enough to hang....although maybe ridding themselves of some of their bad eggs will automatically improve them enough to make a run at the postseason.

Colts: They're not going to repeat. I'd bet any of my organs on it. They lost too much on defense, the Freeney contract was ridiculous (despite what ESPN would have you believe) and will probably result in a continued decline in production, and I don't see how them adding a solid rookie receiver to a corps that was already in excellent shape was a good idea. I know, I know, Peyton Manning is Jesus with a football....but I don't see them turning into a dynasty.

Lions: They're getting roasted all over for Jon Kitna's bigmouth predictions (10+ wins, 50 TD passes, whatever), but for once, I think this team could be a little fierce. Calvin Johnson is going to be for real, Tatum Bell will be a perfect platoon mate for Kevin Jones, and I like the looks of Scott Linehan as a coach. Of course, this is the Lions, so God knows what could go wrong. I'd put them down for 9 wins and a wild card playoff berth in the NFC.

Broncos: Am I just being a homer? Did the Broncos really not get better at almost every position over the offseason? Because I see a lot of sleeping on them in the preseason previews and shit. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather it be this way; let everyone and their mother pick the Chargers to win all 19 of their games this year, and in doing so, conveniently forget that their new head coach has averaged 6 wins in his previous 9 years as an NFL skipper.

But at the same time, I don't understand if I'm missing something, or if everyone outside of Denver is. This offseason, the Broncos have added guys at CB (Dre Bly), RB (Travis Henry), TE (Daniel Graham), DT (rookie Marcus Thomas, and huge free agents Sam Adams and Jamie Kennedy), and DE (Jarvis Moss) who can ALL be reasonably expected to make positive contributions if they remain healthy. On top of that, you have as impressive a crop of second-year players - Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall (a legitimate stud in the making), Tony Scheffler, Elvis Dummervil (who had 8.5 sacks as a sparingly-used rookie), and Mike Bell (maybe not starting RB material, but an excellent back-up option) - as any team in the league. Seriously, the Broncos' 2007 draft wasn't anything to go crazy for, but their 2006 rookie class could very well prove to be among the most impressive single-year collectives in league history when it's all said and done. You have some returning studs - Champ Bailey and Javon Walker, in particular - who are among the absolute elite at their respective positions, and a one-time wonderboy LB in D.J. Williams who is poised to take on a full-time gig in the absence of Al Wilson. You have strong veteran leadership from the likes of John Lynch, Rod Smith (assuming he doesn't retire), and the entire offensive line. And you have a defensive coaching mastermind - new defensive head coach Jim Bates - who has a storied history of increased productivity in his first year of tenure with each team he's joined. Other than the team's ungraceful jettisoning of Al Wilson - who had the misfortune of being the one superstar to play his entire Broncos career in between the Elway dynasty and the Cutler dynasty - the events of this offseason have been a fucking fantasy.

So I ask again - who is missing something, me or the media? Unless Randy Moss - a proven intransigent suddenly thrust into the most rigorous systematic hierarchy in the league - magically reverts to his 2004 form on the field, and thus gives the game's current best quarterback the ultimate downfield weapon, then I don't see who is beating Denver this year. Like, even once. Predictable season preview from me? Maybe. But I've never been more excited for a Broncos season in my life.

[J~$$$]

Sometimes Gabe is so right it hurts.




edit:engrish.

[tessalasset]

oh my god valarie im so sorry. i totally forgot what thread i was posting in. fuck, corbo. bring it to my cat thread. my deepest apologies, gabe. this isn't about me.

[full on idle]

Gabe,

Thanks for tearing up over the Bengals. Because I read that not to mean that it was tearing you apart but that it was making you a little misty. But this isn't about how I read things.

Gabe,

How funny do you think it is that I asked you about the Giants when I meant to ask you about the 49ers? I'm still getting used to the names of the teams here. But this isn't about what I'm not used to. Consequently, what do you think about the 49ers?

Gabe,

Describe your favorite bits of your trip to San Francisco and describe what makes it vastly superior to Los Angeles.

[schoolofruckus]

Valarie,

The Bengals - and the obstacles facing their 2007 season - don't make me shed a salty discharge, per se, but they do bum me out a little because as a fan of the NFL all-around, it's a better thing for them to be in the postseason mix. I mean seriously, who do you find more interesting - the Bengals or the Ravens? I'm not even asking you - I know what your answer would be - but just the editorial "you". Everyone knows that the Ravens are boring and stupid and the Bengals are sexy and exciting, albeit sometimes for the wrong reasons.

Valarie,

I think it's highly comical that you were thinking of the San Francisco Baseball Giants - inevitably confused with the New York Football Giants (which to this day is how ESPN's Chris Berman addresses them) - as opposed to the San Francisco Football 49ers.

The Niners are everyone's hot pick for the "breakout" team of the year, which makes me feel inclined to not jump on the bandwagon. However, I can't deny that they have a pretty formidable team shaping up; as long as their new offensive coordinator has the same chemistry with Alex Smith that Norv Turner had last year, they'll be able to put some serious points on the board. That said, Vernon Davis will have to be ready to go at TE, because the receiving corps is nothing to be excited about (don't think I didn't notice their pick-up of Ashley Lelie). And I don't see Frank Gore taking anyone by surprise like he did last year. But that's still a growing offense that could be among the league's most dangerous, and the defense got a lot better with the additions of Nate Clements (again, overpaid, but still sound) and Patrick Willis.

Bottom line: they could do 7 wins, they could do 13 wins. Anywhere in between wouldn't surprise me. Sorry to be so noncommittal.

Valarie,

Clearly, the best thing about San Francisco was the people we hung out with. Other highlights included: a legitimately top-notch drinking establishment (Place Pigalle), an in-person hajj to see the Vincent Gallo portrait at the Phoenix Hotel, and a wonderful (if woefully-guided) bus tour around the city, allowing us to see many of the city's most notable regions in a short timeframe as well as providing the opportunity for me to take some killer photos. There are two things about San Francisco that strike me as being immediately more impressive than LA - the personality of the city (namely, the fact that it has one), and the dining options. My least favorite thing about LA is that its too much of a sprawled out mess, with a shitty downtown and a distinct lack of character. This is totally intangible and obviously very arbitrary, but when I visit cities like New York, Seattle, and San Francisco, I can feel a HUGE difference. I feel like there's an energy there that I'm not enough of a sociology expert to describe. And as for the food - fucking forget it. I think LA's got some great dining options, and clearly whoops San Francisco in terms of Mexican cuisine, but the seafood and Asian food up in the bay is impossible to top.

[full on idle]

Gabe,

Well-put, Gabe.

Gabe,

I want you to imagine we are entering a nuclear holocaust. Luckily, the set of the hilarious Pauly Shore/Billy Baldwin flick "Biodome" is intact and radiation-resistant, on the Warner Brothers lot. Now, being that you hold a position of importance on said lot, you have been given the keys and are the lone person capable of entering the Biodome, essentially, you are the only person on the planet with the ability to survive the fallout. Time is limited, you can see the mushroom cloud looming.

Do you:

A) Gather your coworkers, instruct them to bring whatever clothing/food and survival items they have with them and corral them into the biodome. You haven't much time and since the future of the human race hangs in the balance, you want as many bodies in the biodome as possible before it's too late.

B) Hoard the key, call up all of your friends and family in the area to get them in the dome. You can only shut the door to the dome once, you have to wait for them to get there and this severely risks your chances of escaping radiation.

C) Run like hell, get in the biodome and lock the door.

[schoolofruckus]

Originally Posted by full on idle

Gabe,

I want you to imagine we are entering a nuclear holocaust. Luckily, the set of the hilarious Pauly Shore/Billy Baldwin flick "Biodome" is intact and radiation-resistant, on the Warner Brothers lot. Now, being that you hold a position of importance on said lot, you have been given the keys and are the lone person capable of entering the Biodome, essentially, you are the only person on the planet with the ability to survive the fallout. Time is limited, you can see the mushroom cloud looming.

Do you:

A) Gather your coworkers, instruct them to bring whatever clothing/food and survival items they have with them and corral them into the biodome. You haven't much time and since the future of the human race hangs in the balance, you want as many bodies in the biodome as possible before it's too late.

B) Hoard the key, call up all of your friends and family in the area to get them in the dome. You can only shut the door to the dome once, you have to wait for them to get there and this severely risks your chances of escaping radiation.

C) Run like hell, get in the biodome and lock the door.

I don't know what's better - the endlessly intriguing nature of this question, or the premise that the future of the world will be affected by "Biodome".

In a selfless way, option A clearly seems like the way to go. Sure, that would mean the exclusion of the people who are closest to me, but it would probably be better for society overall. The nature of the corporate world in this politically-correct era also means that the people immediately surrounding me are extremely diverse - racially, culturally, sexually. The fact that I work at a movie studio means that the majority of people around here are well-groomed and aesthetically pleasing. And the fact that the Warner Bros. lot is basically designed as its own, self-sufficient city - we have our own power plant that the rest of Burbank can tap into in case of emergency, and we have departments dedicated to all the basic facets of city management - means that the possibility of me choosing helpful people to live in the biodome with me is very high; I could just pick my favorite person from each of our departments and I'd have a perfectly functional community with which to rebuild the world once the holocaust ends. However, the other night I was watching that Simpsons episode where they think a comet is coming, and everyone runs into Ned's bomb shelter; pretty soon, the place is too fucking full of people to be comfortable. So maybe quantity - and, as a result, Option A - isn't the way to go.

So why shouldn't I choose Option B - gathering my own group of friends in my quest to save people? I mean, I have a pretty diverse array of acquaintances; surely I could gather them in my biodome and manage to save most of the world's ethnicities. Plus, that would be ten times more enjoyable than just having work people with me. People at work are always acting uptight and shit around their co-workers; it would fucking suck to just have to make everyday small-talk for the entire time that the shitstorm is raging outside the dome. If I could pick from my own group, everyone would be relaxed and comfortable and we could ride out the holocaust in a state of euphoria. With marshmallow chairs and teddybear smiles.

But you know...I'm thinking about it, and every time I invite people to come to movie screenings on the lot, they always fucking show up late. Doesn't matter if it's Jennie or Chris or Tessa or whoever; basically, I've figured out that the only way I get into the employee premieres here is if I don't invite anyone. Maybe it's just me, but I don't want anyone pulling that shit when the fate of the world hangs in the balance. Seriously, guys - get to THIS place by THIS time.....is it really that hard to swing? Oh, it is? Well then. You can wait outside while I chill in the biodome.

Option C. Final answer.

[psychic friend]

get to THIS place by THIS time.....is it really that hard to swing?

There are late people and non late people (in general). I don't really understand the late people but I do know several of them.. Always tell them to meet you at least 30 minutes earlier than really needed so they arrive on time instead of 1/2 hour late.

I know my post is written in invisible ink.

[xbnmx]

Procedure versus goal orientation.

[schoolofruckus]

Originally Posted by psychic friend

There are late people and non late people (in general). I don't really understand the late people but I do know several of them.. Always tell them to meet you at least 30 minutes earlier than really needed so they arrive on time instead of 1/2 hour late.

I know my post is written in invisible ink.

I do that too. I tell people to get here by 5:30 pm, knowing full well that they really need to be here by 6 pm. Does that stop them from arriving at 6:45 pm when the movie is about to start and the theater enforces a hard cut-off? No. Hence why I let them die when the apocalypse is upon us.

Your posts are only in invisible ink when you bring that bear shit up in here.

[psychic friend]

there was no mention of bears being able to kick a gorilla's butt in the invitation post that went without reply.

[amyzzz]

I know early people too, which imo can be just as annoying as late people if you're not ready for them.

[roberto73]

Gabe, as a resident of Southern Ohio until 1995, when did the Bengals become sexy and exciting, and what makes them so? I'm so used to them being an embarrassment for so long that it's genuinely surprising to hear someone say something positive about them.

[schoolofruckus]

Originally Posted by psychic friend

there was no mention of bears being able to kick a gorilla's butt in the invitation post that went without reply.

OHHHHHHH you mean the one where you invited us over to watch a movie?? Forgive me; it just slipped my mind as I was reading through this. Consider your invitation accepted. When are you proposing we throw this party?

[mountmccabe]

Hey, Gabe.

How early will you be taking Michael Vick in any fantasy football drafts you may participate in?

I will think of more better questions soon. But this is not about what I will think of.

[caco0283]

hey man thanks for the call today, i agree with you about what you said everytime you call me.....its just that you dont understand...and you understand me most of everyone i know.....that call i got from bugs favorite person to pick on me about today was just a bit much...and then you call me after her....its just nuts....im know lalal land is not where i will be and the industry of lala land is not what i was made for....and i accept that....im that percentage that gets out but ends back in....if ya know what i mean....hell if only you know what i was doing last night for a friend of mine.....why im putting all this here i dont know but i am....but ill talk to you soon my friend

[schoolofruckus]

Originally Posted by roberto73

Gabe, as a resident of Southern Ohio until 1995, when did the Bengals become sexy and exciting, and what makes them so? I'm so used to them being an embarrassment for so long that it's genuinely surprising to hear someone say something positive about them.

In approximately 2005. The Carson/Housh/Chad-and-Rudi Johnson era of Bengals football is rife with intrigue. The Bengals have had starpower in their history before - Boomer Esiason, Corey Dillon, etc. - but never this much at one time. This team, when healthy and out of jail, is absolutely fearsome on offense.

Where in Southern Ohio do you live?

Originally Posted by mountmccabe

How early will you be taking Michael Vick in any fantasy football drafts you may participate in?

I've made a life-long resolution never to take Michael Vick in any fantasy football league ever. But I have him on all three of my keeper league fantasy dogfighting teams.

Originally Posted by caco0283

hey man thanks for the call today, i agree with you about what you said everytime you call me.....its just that you dont understand...and you understand me most of everyone i know.....that call i got from bugs favorite person to pick on me about today was just a bit much...and then you call me after her....its just nuts....im know lalal land is not where i will be and the industry of lala land is not what i was made for....and i accept that....im that percentage that gets out but ends back in....if ya know what i mean....hell if only you know what i was doing last night for a friend of mine.....why im putting all this here i dont know but i am....but ill talk to you soon my friend

For those who weren't in on the phone call Ronnie and I had today: I gave him shit because every time he calls me, he's in the loudest bar imaginable, trying to conduct the phone call while dividing his time amongst every girl that walks in. So I end up walking around the supermarket or wherever I am, saying "Oh no, what did that bitch do now?" in my playground voice so Ronnie can hear me over the hum of commotion in the background. Sometimes he puts these girls on to talk to me and I always ask them if they're the girl he talked to me about last. Since I'm usually about 3-4 girls behind in my knowledge of Ronnie's life at any given time, this tends to lead to the girl on the phone getting offended; I often hear something along the lines of "Ronnie, who the fuck is Rita???" before the phone goes dead.

Anyway, Ronaldinho, I didn't know you were hanging up your bullhorn. I don't recall consenting to this, so I hope that your mind is still at least a little open. Take care until next time, and shine on you crazy diamond.

[bug on your lip]

Originally Posted by schoolofruckus

For those who weren't in on the phone call Ronnie and I had today: I gave him shit because every time he calls me, he's in the loudest bar imaginable, trying to conduct the phone call while dividing his time amongst every girl that walks in. So I end up walking around the supermarket or wherever I am, saying "Oh no, what did that bitch do now?" in my playground voice so Ronnie can hear me over the hum of commotion in the background. Sometimes he puts these girls on to talk to me and I always ask them if they're the girl he talked to me about last. Since I'm usually about 3-4 girls behind in my knowledge of Ronnie's life at any given time, this tends to lead to the girl on the phone getting offended; I often hear something along the lines of "Ronnie, who the fuck is Rita???" before the phone goes dead.

Anyway, Ronaldinho, I didn't know you were hanging up your bullhorn. I don't recall consenting to this, so I hope that your mind is still at least a little open. Take care until next time, and shine on you crazy diamond.

That was one of the funniest posts i have ever read

ever.

[caco0283]

gabe are you going to watch hairspray and what are you thoughts of the film before watching it

[schoolofruckus]

Ronnie, I would cut my own nuts off before paying money to see "Hairspray". In fact, I think it's a prerequisite that one HAS to cut one's own nuts off in order to see "Hairspray". Needless to say, I'm not willing to do that. I've never been a fan of teh musicalz, and I vowed sometime right around the halfway mark of "Ladder 49" that I would never again pay to see John Travolta in a movie; the fact that he's playing a woman here - or a very Barney-the-dinosaur-esque facsimile of one - makes me that much more limp. I almost shot myself after I saw the first publicity still of him in that god damn Miss Piggy fatsuit.

But if it's any consolation, I did happen to see some of "The Pacifier" on cable one day a couple weeks ago. It wasn't too shabby, or that is to say, not nearly as shabby as I would have expected. A movie like that will never be in my wheelhouse, but I have to admit that it had heart and was competently made.