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Thread: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

  1. #1
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    So it looks like I've negotiated my way into getting laid off from my current job under the pretense of just giving me a couple weeks of unemployment while I interview for other work, but I'd rather be a disgusting leech on the system and stay on it for as long as possible.

    Back in Jersey this was easy--all you had to do was attend like one meeting that trained you how to apply for jobs better and then call in every week and press a couple buttons. I'm wondering if it's any different out here in CA, so if anyone has any advice, please hit me with it.

    Yes, I'm a worthless rapist of the system designed to help people truly in need. Oh well--yay for quasi-socialism!
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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  2. #2

    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Did somebody say milking?
    Frank:What do you want to drink?
    Jeffrey:Heineken...
    Frank:Heineken!?...FUCK THAT SHIT! BREASTMILK!

  3. #3
    Headwear Fo Ya Backside chrislasf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    I want my god damn tax dollars back.
    I like it. It's not my favorite shit in the world, but it's a smart, funny show.

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    Coachella Junkie SFChrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Fucking transplants!!!

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    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Hi, I'm a god damned scumbag, and I've just found a new way to be an attention whore. Come one everyone, heap curses on me! tell me how awful I am! as long as you're talking about ME, it doesn't matter!
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

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    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    One more reason to adore LGM.

  7. #7
    Member Archie Bunker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    So it looks like I've negotiated my way into getting laid off from my current job under the pretense of just giving me a couple weeks of unemployment while I interview for other work, but I'd rather be a disgusting leech on the system and stay on it for as long as possible.

    Back in Jersey this was easy--all you had to do was attend like one meeting that trained you how to apply for jobs better and then call in every week and press a couple buttons. I'm wondering if it's any different out here in CA, so if anyone has any advice, please hit me with it.

    Yes, I'm a worthless rapist of the system designed to help people truly in need. Oh well--yay for quasi-socialism!
    Good news: The California system is very similar. You will also be required at some point to attend one workshop to help search for jobs. Once you've completed it, you just need to check off "yes" on the weekly form indicating you've been searching for work. No further proof is required. I believe you can get unemployment for 6 months.

    If you take any full time job during the time you're receiving unemployment benefits, you will lose them.

    Oh, and don't worry -- unemployment insurance is one of the more abused programs in the state. You're in good company with other leeches.
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

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    Coachella Junkie SFChrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    I actually admire LGM witt and use of words but this is one of my problems with Transplants!!!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Bunker View Post
    Good news: The California system is very similar. You will also be required at some point to attend one workshop to help search for jobs. Once you've completed it, you just need to check off "yes" on the weekly form indicating you've been searching for work. No further proof is required. I believe you can get unemployment for 6 months.

    If you take any full time job during the time you're receiving unemployment benefits, you will lose them.

    Oh, and don't worry -- unemployment insurance is one of the more abused programs in the state. You're in good company with other leeches.
    sucker of cock.

  10. #10
    old school invisiblerobots's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Have you considered selling drugs to provide income?

  11. #11
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    What does me being a transplant have to do with jack shit? I'm a resident, I've paid into the system, I deserve my benefits. I wouldn't begrudge you your benefits if you moved to my homestate. Bloody superiority complex-ridden Calfiornians... guess what? Your food SUCKS. You owe me money for that fact alone. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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  12. #12
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Also, thanks Archie. Much obliged.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  13. #13
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    guess what? Your food SUCKS. You owe me money for that fact alone. =)
    if you don't know how to find good food in LA then actually you suck. hard.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  14. #14
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    The only remotely good food in LA is Mexican. Everything else blows goats.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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    Headwear Fo Ya Backside chrislasf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    +50 points to miscorrections
    I like it. It's not my favorite shit in the world, but it's a smart, funny show.

    P.S. I'm gay

  16. #16
    Headwear Fo Ya Backside chrislasf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Remotely?

    Where in this great nation do you propose finding good Mexican?
    I like it. It's not my favorite shit in the world, but it's a smart, funny show.

    P.S. I'm gay

  17. #17
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    The only remotely good food in LA is Mexican. Everything else blows goats.
    plz see my previous post.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie SFChrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    I don't know 'bout jack shit but I haven't had to take advantage of that resource...I have kids and pay taxes but I'm not on welfare...and actually your right the produce in so-cal does suck but not in my region. I just think its shitty to get on unemployment to look for another job...and the only natives I've ever known to use unemployment are union workers...so yeah i'm fucking prejudice big time...oh well

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    if you don't know how to find good food in LA then actually you suck. hard.
    Aw, give the boy a break. He grew up in New Jersey. No wonder his taste buds are a little off.

  20. #20
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    unemployment, complaining about food.. lgm must think he's in france.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  21. #21
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    His taste buds are probably a bit off because of all the altered states he has enjoyed.

  22. #22
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by invisiblerobots View Post
    Have you considered selling drugs to provide income?
    I think he's already doing that.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  23. #23
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Growing up in New Jersey basically means that you get New York tastes, and comparing New York tastes to LA tastes is like shooting some kind of immobilized animal in a barrel.

    Alright, so you own Mexican, fine. But the Chinese sucks (no lo mein fucking ANYWHERE), the Italian--especially pizza--is just insulting to the best ethnic food in the world, you put sprouts and other kinds of garbage on shit that would otherwise taste good. It's all very ew.

    Sorry if taking advantage of unemployment is technically unfair and lazy, but um... have you guys not noticed that I'm not exactly a good person? Drug dealer, superiority complex, no connection to humanity in general, et cetera? I mean, where the fuck is all this outrage stemming from given the fact that I've already made it abundantly clear I don't care about anyone but myself? Also, I'm an attention whore, just to placate Tom.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  24. #24
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    you should just pull the trigger.

  25. #25
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Do you all get this outraged about illegal immigrants, by the way?
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  26. #26
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    illegal immigrants don't complain about food.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  27. #27
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Growing up in New Jersey basically means that you get New York tastes, and comparing New York tastes to LA tastes is like shooting some kind of immobilized animal in a barrel.
    Hahahahaha. I used to live in New York, and trust me the only person who would ever equate New Jersey with "New York tastes" is someone from New Jersey. You're too funny.

    Maybe you have not have lived in LA for long enough to realize how awesome the food is here. Or maybe you're just not putting in the effort to get out and explore all the great options.

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Do you all get this outraged about illegal immigrants, by the way?
    Illegal immigrants>TLGM

  29. #29
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Hahahahaha. I used to live in New York, and trust me the only person who would ever equate New Jersey with "New York tastes" is someone from New Jersey. You're too funny.

    Maybe you have not have lived in LA for long enough to realize how awesome the food is here. Or maybe you're just not putting in the effort to get out and explore all the great options.
    Yeah, you New Yorkers are real snobs about Jersey because you think of all of it as North Jersey, which is a righteous shithole. But let's face it--the entire point of living in Jersey is New York, so it's not like we're not up there every chance we get. And we still get a lot of the good food flowing down from people that got tired of living in the city.

    Dude, what awesome food? Seriously? I mean, if you lived in NY you can't argue in favor of the pizza, or the Italian in general. There's a couple of exceptions of real high-class Italian restaurants that do all right but for the most part it's a fucking disgrace and an insult to the only thing that redeems the Italian people for having invented fascism. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  30. #30
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice On Milking California Unemployment

    outrage-ous

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