TO THE INBRED REDNECK SECURITY GUARD AT THE GATES ON SAT

[SFChrissy]

^^^That made me laugh...

[knotted_donuts]

To add a bit more... the security gates at Coachella are always terribly inconsistent. I expect to get searched heavier on some days versus others, so I always do my best to hide whatever "contraband" I'm bringing in (water bottles, etc).

However, this year consistently provided the most intense searches for another friend... I understand the concept of security at an event like this -- you want to keep people from bringing in items or weapons that could endanger any of the tens of thousands of other people around. I'm okay with that. But when a security guard goes to the extent of searching through every little pocket of the camera bag that was INSIDE my friend's backpack (the rest of the backpack was searched just as thoroughly), I grow skeptical of their "intent" to "keep us safe." I mean, those pockets could barely hold a CompactFlash card, which is hardly room for anything that could cause someone harm... I grow even more skeptical when I hear of people literally getting groped by security guards. Where's the real danger here?

Judging by the words of Anthony Kiedis ("It reeks of weed out here"), I'd say people are doing a fine job of sneaking their items past the security guards... a feat that even my friend was able accomplish, despite the exhaustive search.

A better suggestion might be to use metal detectors... this way, you don't have any need for boys' and girls' lines, but instead use separate lines for people with bags and people without. That way, people without bags can pretty much just walk on through, and little to no fear of them getting by with weapons. People with bags would have to have them searched the traditional way (unless GV wanted to splurge on about a dozen X-ray machines)... eh, I'm done typing... there's my suggestion.

[MadMatt]

Yea there were many retards working security at the show. That being said, I really doubt they read this board, so it's not like these criticisms will come to their attention.

It's too bad though, I've read many valid points here.

Some other funny instances:

-- Did anyone else get told to go to the "express lane" from the camping entrance? It was supposed to be faster if you didn't have a bag. Express my ass, it was a longer wait from what I saw.

-- A guy at the gate frisking people slow as fuck. At times he would seriously stop and look at the trees. I don't know if he was tired or just taking a break, but when I got up there he said "why is no one taking stuff out of their pockets? You people are holding up my line" Classic .. cosidering the guy was moving at a snail's pace and no one was giving the order for patrons to remov shit from our pockets.
I work concert security for fun, and if we need people to remove shit from their pockets, we have people loudly announcing that as patrons walk up to the gate.

-- On sunday, being told I need to go to the bag line (not "express" as I was told the day before) because of my "fanny pack" as the guard so eloquently made fun of me. What the fuck ever bro, it's the easiest way for me to keep my shit organized and safe. Then, when I get up there, no one even looks in it.

As I said, I do work security here so I can get paid to see shows, and I can tell you, many of my co-workers are far from genuises. Let's face it, these jobs do not attract the most intelligent people for the most part.

[JClemy]

I did the same thing -- waited in the shade for my girlfriend to make it through the girls' line (Friday was the only day I had to wait for her, Saturday and Sunday she waited a lot longer for me to get through). Anyway, a cop came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me they had to "keep the area clear." Whatever, I don't give a fuck, so I step out...

While waiting out in the sun, I see the same thing happen to another guy. As this guy was walking out from the tent, I made some comment about how it was "regulated shade," and we'd better watch out. The cop immediately turned around, walked out from under the tent until he was about a foot away from me, looked up at me, and said "You wanna be a smart ass about this?"
Mind you, I'm a fairly tall guy, about 6'4"... this cop was't much taller than my girlfriend, so maybe pushing 5'4". It took a lot of effort to maintain my composure and keep from laughing, but I just said "No," and he went on his coppy way.

The short cop that looked super young right? He is the one I laughed at. The other cops were making fun of him too.

[krunchy]

saturday seemed like the worst security day at the entrance. i just rolled my eyes at the moron wannabe marine drill sargent out in front of the lines. get a fucking life asstard.

Uhh...the security guards were marines.....

[Red Ninja]

Deal with it people. It happens every year and it will happen again next year. So Deal. Its part of the festival. You got in a had a good time didn't you, so shut up.

[miscorrections]

i sure did got in a had.

[JClemy]

Deal with it people. It happens every year and it will happen again next year. So Deal. Its part of the festival. You got in a had a good time didn't you, so shut up.

I got in a had too! It's fun to make fun of the stupidity buddy.

[Veloco22]

Thursday night was great security wise. No pat down, no looking in the cooler, the stoned looking security guy just patted the outside of my bag twice and said "wow, you guys are doin a really good job of hiding stuff cause i havent found anything yet."....oh and when security found my diet coke can with a screw off top for holdin j's the guy says "sorry, but these are illegal within the venue, so dont get caught." and put right back in my camelbak, which were also not suppose to be allowed. The sign said no instruments and im pretty sure i saw someguy walk into camping with a bassoon, or maybe it was a bass clarinet. I walked in exits on both saturday and sunday, no hassle, no writstband check, nothing. Most lax security i've experienced at any event.

[luveebunni08]

saturday was ridiculous. security didn't pat me down, but they looked in my bag and stuff, no biggie. but my boyfriend was in the wrong line. poor thing had this one lady who was checking every single pocket of every single bag and hassling people. he was so mad. "we're not at the fucking airport."

a pat down, look in bag, feel bottom of bag while inspecting and wave thru. the worst thing people are gonna bring in is booze and drugs, and how is that harmful to other people?

[knotted_donuts]

"we're not at the fucking airport."

Funny you'd mention that... I was thinking about it after I got through the line, and I've never been searched like that, even at an airport (I fly a few times a year).

[praxis1966]

Uhh...the security guards were marines.....

Which is exactly the problem. Don't get me wrong, I have respect for the military as a general rule; I couldn't do their job. However, I know for a fact that the Marines would let just about anybody in, even more so now since they're not meeting their recruiting targets. Fact is, they'll take felons (as long as they're non-violent or drug related) as well as high school dropouts. Generally speaking, alot of the people in the Marines are there because they couldn't get into any other branch of the service. Nevermind the fact that I've had run-ins with military police before (which is probably what those guys were) and they're even bigger dicks than the civilian police I've had the misfortune of dealing with.

Fact: I have a buddy who used to be in the Army but decided he had to get out. He went to the extent of going AWOL for 29 days as he new 30 or more would get him a court martial. When he reported back for duty they gave him a general discharge (general meaning that he had neither an honorable nor dishonorable discharge). Years later, he decided he wanted to re-enlist. I'll give you three guesses which was the only branch to take him, and the first two guesses don't count.

[krunchy]

i had a few security guards at will call asking me if i found some buds to sling them their way, and also that if i gave them a $20 or so i would be put to the front of the line. Pretty scummy shit, and I doubt they could pull it off regardless, but they definitely had crooked intentions.
The marine I talked to, leading to how I found out they were marines, was a certified retard.
And by the way, its ok, i have little respect for the military in general - don't need to cover your arse for me....

[All That I Am]

a friend of mine ran past security on sunday because he didn't have a ticket. they chased him for about 50 feet then gave up.

next year, i'm not buying tickets.

This dude came in right after us and ran right past me, the asian guard chasing him didn't get far before he just gave up.

[Basskitten85]

oh tell my about it and it was no easier for the girsl on saturday the dike loooking Security guard was coping feels on every girl that passed her. pating us down like were going to prison or some shit.

[captncrzy]

oh tell my about it and it was no easier for the girsl on saturday the dike loooking Security guard was coping feels on every girl that passed her. pating us down like were going to prison or some shit.

I think she was running the line I was in-I looked ahead a few people and saw her patting down the girls. I just got out of line and got into one where there was a guy guard.

[el_harderino]

Some dick was at the campers entrance sunday telling everyone that the main entrance line would be quicker, when we, and quite a few other campers got to the line it was about 4 times as long!! so we walked back but missed most of the kooks set because of this little detour, anyone else have to deal with this guy? what an asshole!!!!!

Man we were up at 5 in the morning and were the second and third people at the gate. That guy gave us so much trouble. I almost got jipped out of my spot on the front barrier because of him bu I made it and I'm on the picture on the homepage wooooooo!

[scoop49er]

i did security for 2 yrs and yeah, its a mixed of young kids who cant get a regular job and carnival type people. me? i did it cuz i thought at the time it would be a great experience and would be fun. granted i got tomeet alot of rock legends and went to a ton of shows for free, but the work was either borderline slave labor or just boring as hell. so yeah alot of them are shitheads. but at the same time you do see thhe other side of it and how many people who go to concerts are really just huge assholes! so it evens out.

[psychic friend]

well said

[scoop49er]

oh and the "blow job to get backstage" myth is at times very very true!

[scoop49er]

one of the coolest experience was doing the u2 concert in oakland and oasis was the opening band. they were doing a soundcheck and there was about 20 of us just hanging out and our security chief was wanting us to leave them alone. liam said" hey! let them hear us and they can tell us how bad we are!" so we stayed back and watched them do a 30 min set! just us and oasis in a stadium which holds 50,000! what topped it off was i was standing and looked over my left shoulder and right up next to me was bono and th edge who came out to listen! got to shake their hands and we all rocked out together! thye are short guys! great experience!

[SojuGorae]

oh and the "blow job to get backstage" myth is at times very very true!

Sounds great, but then you'd have to be a real sleazy dirt bag to actually accept a free bone shine.

The idea of it sounds cool, but would a decent man with decent principles actually partake in such an act? If I was a security guard and some nasty ass skank offered to blow me for backstage access, I'd let her in just out of pity.

[offyerhead]

Sounds great, but then you'd have to be a real sleazy dirt bag to actually accept a free bone shine.

Agreed. Paying for it is much better than getting a freebie

[Memorial_07]

Friday was only slow getting in because it was packed!

Saturday was a mission and a half for me to get to the gate because I walked all the way through the mud road next to the camp and parking lot, but I got in very quick.

On Sunday about 30 people including me tickets didn't register. I almost pissed myself because I was scared I wouldn't be let in, but I got in again no problem.

[Heresy]

Some black bitch threw my water bottle away. Helllooooo woman? It's about 110º and you throw my ice cold water away? My 3 other friends got to take their waters in no problem. DISCRIMINATION!!!!

[rage patton]

Some dick was at the campers entrance sunday telling everyone that the main entrance line would be quicker, when we, and quite a few other campers got to the line it was about 4 times as long!! so we walked back but missed most of the kooks set because of this little detour, anyone else have to deal with this guy? what an asshole!!!!!

I was told that on Friday. Sure enough, there was literaly NO wait. Sounds like you got a shitty deal though.

[sophtron]

i had my spraybottle taken away on sunday but was able to get the bud and booze in all 3 days... then talked them into letting me go back to my tent where i picked up more bud ohh and i saw this one dude try and tell some dude that he couldnt get in cuz "he look intoxicated" also the camp bag check...awesome, they just shook your bags and moved you through haha

[Boourns]

Ha, I called someone Thursday and let them know about the lax security. "Don't bother dumping your vodka into water bottles!"

[suprefan]

2 words, camper entrance.

[Boourns]

5 words:
hour-plus wait on Friday