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Thread: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK COCK!

  1. #1
    Member Marlon Brando's Avatar
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    Default Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK COCK!

    The two petulent fuckfaces in OutKast are going to steal the title of "Shittiest Coachella Headliner Ever" from those pretentious cockalorums The Stone Roses. These guys are going to stink up the fucking main stage so bad the entire shithole city of Indio is going to smell like a menstruating teenage mutant ninja turtle for the next decade. I don't know how these two ranting mongoloids got booked as headliners when they're nothing more than a 3 hit wonder. If Golden Voice is willing to book these 90s has beens I guess there's a chance we could see Smash Mouth or Sugar Ray headlining next year. Mark Motha Fucking McGrath would love to croon for you hipsters. If Sugar Ray was the headliner you can bet there would be a lot of cougars roaming the Coachella grounds looking for some twenty-something D. Some of you pussy ass Ben Gibbards might get to see a non pixelated vag for the first time if one of these cougs decided she wanted to lower her standards and get rammed while Mark and the fellas play #1 Al-Rock Hit "Every Morning." I know some of the higher ups at Golden Voice; I'll tell those suits you guys want to see Sugar Ray next year so you can get laid for the first time

    The only reason OutKast reunited is because these two fools need money due to their solo albums bombing worse than Kim Kardashian's single "Jam (Turn It Up)." I understand why these niggas gotta get paid, them strippers and sizzurp ain't cheap but I don't know why you jackoffs are excited. These fuckers haven't played a show in over a decade and never played for more than 50 minutes when they last toured. These pussies are going to get up on stage and play 14 songs and then go back stage and get rim jobs from some 18 year old starfuckers from Riverside. There is no way these boys play for more than 60 minutes; have you seen how fucking fat Big Boi is these days? That boy has been enjoying himself some fucking Mickey D's in the ATL. There ain't no way that Black Michelin Man can get throw more than 14 songs. KROQ better have Dr. Drew side stage to help get Big Boi some oxygen after the first 4 songs.

    Hip-Hop sucks dick live; especially when it's coming from some old egotistical pussies that hate performing live who will be using a shitload of backing tracks. These two douchers are only coming to coachella for two reasons: to get paid and to lick some labia.

  2. #2
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    post of the year
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    ... Keep fucking that chicken.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    As awkward as the time I force-felched you?
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip

  3. #3
    Coachella Junkie shakermaker113's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by Marlon Brando View Post
    These guys are going to stink up the fucking main stage so bad the entire shithole city of Indio is going to smell like a menstruating teenage mutant ninja turtle for the next decade.
    bwahahaha.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    They better have a fucking live band otherwise it'll be the weak sauce.

  5. #5
    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    I bet OutKast plays for two hours, which is probably less time than it took the OP to compose this masterpiece.

  6. #6
    Chest Rockwell Gribbz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    I bet OutKast plays for two hours, which is probably less time than it took the OP to compose this masterpiece.
    /thread
    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
    Has Pitchfork revealed it's top 200 covers by Arcade Fire yet?

  7. #7
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    For the record, my hipster dick is Carson-sized.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

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    Member Twattycakes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by Marlon Brando View Post
    These two douchers are only coming to coachella for two reasons: to get paid and to lick some labia.
    I feel it's really noble of these guys to play a show because they're interested in giving oral sex. Kudos!
    Anything is possible...

  9. #9
    Member Marlon Brando's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    For the record, my hipster dick is Carson-sized.
    You been watching the Johnny Carson sex tape bro? You like that old classic 70s porn where all of the bitches are wearing granny panties, rocking Mary Tyler Moore haircuts and the picture is really grainy? I bet Johnny plows his skank like a boss in that tape. Don't worry man, I don't judge; if you like that old school shit you keep jerking it to grandpa sex
    Last edited by Marlon Brando; 03-27-2014 at 09:38 PM.

  10. #10
    Member dillycup's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    I wanted to ignore you Brando, but my needle dick is forcing me to wish you well at lorde and Lana. Should be a flurry of mind melting amazeballs. Happy chella babycakes

  11. #11
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    I take it Marlon Bando doesn't know how eat out a girl proper.
    Translation


    Sparks @ Ace Hotel 02/14/15
    Caribou @The Fillmore 03/01/15
    The Pop Group @ GAMH 03/11/15


    Last.fm



  12. #12
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by Marlon Brando View Post
    You been watching the Johnny Carson sex tape bro? You like that old classic 70s porn where all of the bitches are wearing granny panties, rocking Mary Tyler Moore haircuts and the picture is really grainy? I bet Johnny plows his skank like a boss in that tape. Don't worry man, I don't judge; if you like that old school shit you keep jerking it to grandpa sex
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    ... Keep fucking that chicken.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    As awkward as the time I force-felched you?
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip

  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Um a young getbetter thought Mary Tyler Moore was smoking hot when he got to watch Nick At Night at his baby sitters.
    Translation


    Sparks @ Ace Hotel 02/14/15
    Caribou @The Fillmore 03/01/15
    The Pop Group @ GAMH 03/11/15


    Last.fm



  14. #14
    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    As far as trolls go this guy is no Marlon Brando. Brando was an artist. He executed his craft with effortless grace. Even in his Island of Dr. Moreau days when he could barely carry the weight of his own blubber he was never this desperate. I'm also pretty sure he hated Incubus.

    You try too hard, man.

  15. #15
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Um a young getbetter thought Mary Tyler Moore was smoking hot when he got to watch Nick At Night at his baby sitters.
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    ... Keep fucking that chicken.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    As awkward as the time I force-felched you?
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip

  16. #16

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Dear OP,
    Fuck you.
    Love, nyarl
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Shut it down.

  17. #17
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by kvnty View Post
    That's pretty much what I look like in the morning, so I guess it worked out.

    12/16: A Winged Victory for the Sullen @ The Independent
    12/17: Sleepy Sun @ Brick and Mortar
    12/31: Derek Plaslaiko, Dave Aju @ f8
    1/8: Tamaryn @ The Chapel
    1/28: Beacon @ The Rickshaw Stop
    1/29: Ty Segall, Wand, Cold Beat @ GAMH
    2/7: Robag Whrume, Daniel Bell, Sassmouth, The Black Madonna @ Public Works
    2/14: Sparks @ Ace Theater Hollywood

  18. #18
    Member blueduck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Friday: Outkast | Girl Talk | HAIM | Bonobo | Flume | Wye Oak | The Preatures
    Saturday: Lorde | Sleigh Bells | CHVRCHES | Capital Cities | Warpaint | Washed Out | Banks
    Sunday: Arcade Fire | Beck | Disclosure | Lana Del Rey | AlunaGeorge | Superchunk | Daughter | Poolside

  19. #19
    Member Corona89's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Great thread.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    lol

  21. #21
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    I'm confused. Is Outkast going to suck some dick, or are they going to eat some pussy?

  22. #22

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    Keep on chugging. 788 more posts and you can submit your application.
    TRAVI$ SCOTT for 2015

  23. #23

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    I've been internetting for a long, long time.

    That might be the worst attempt at a troll that I've ever seen.

  24. #24

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by mjryan5 View Post
    I've been internetting for a long, long time.

    That might be the worst attempt at a troll that I've ever seen.
    I suspect it's actually Andre 3000
    06, 08-14

  25. #25
    Member fakepornotits's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    I take it Marlon Bando doesn't know how eat out a girl proper.
    I concur.

  26. #26
    Member darthlaker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by Marlon Brando View Post
    The two petulent fuckfaces in OutKast are going to steal the title of "Shittiest Coachella Headliner Ever" from those pretentious cockalorums The Stone Roses. These guys are going to stink up the fucking main stage so bad the entire shithole city of Indio is going to smell like a menstruating teenage mutant ninja turtle for the next decade. I don't know how these two ranting mongoloids got booked as headliners when they're nothing more than a 3 hit wonder. If Golden Voice is willing to book these 90s has beens I guess there's a chance we could see Smash Mouth or Sugar Ray headlining next year. Mark Motha Fucking McGrath would love to croon for you hipsters. If Sugar Ray was the headliner you can bet there would be a lot of cougars roaming the Coachella grounds looking for some twenty-something D. Some of you pussy ass Ben Gibbards might get to see a non pixelated vag for the first time if one of these cougs decided she wanted to lower her standards and get rammed while Mark and the fellas play #1 Al-Rock Hit "Every Morning." I know some of the higher ups at Golden Voice; I'll tell those suits you guys want to see Sugar Ray next year so you can get laid for the first time

    The only reason OutKast reunited is because these two fools need money due to their solo albums bombing worse than Kim Kardashian's single "Jam (Turn It Up)." I understand why these niggas gotta get paid, them strippers and sizzurp ain't cheap but I don't know why you jackoffs are excited. These fuckers haven't played a show in over a decade and never played for more than 50 minutes when they last toured. These pussies are going to get up on stage and play 14 songs and then go back stage and get rim jobs from some 18 year old starfuckers from Riverside. There is no way these boys play for more than 60 minutes; have you seen how fucking fat Big Boi is these days? That boy has been enjoying himself some fucking Mickey D's in the ATL. There ain't no way that Black Michelin Man can get throw more than 14 songs. KROQ better have Dr. Drew side stage to help get Big Boi some oxygen after the first 4 songs.

    Hip-Hop sucks dick live; especially when it's coming from some old egotistical pussies that hate performing live who will be using a shitload of backing tracks. These two douchers are only coming to coachella for two reasons: to get paid and to lick some labia.
    Hip Hop Sucks Live? Really? You sound like some white boy that will be rolling when Skrillez is playing. (most Djs play recorded sets and just move behind their systems to make it seem like they are actually doing something) Have you ever seen A Tribe Called Quest, Dr Dre & Snoop, Jay-Z, Beastie Boys, NAS or Wu-Tang Clan live? I've seen Outkast live and they put on a hell of a show. You are one of those stupid ass white boys that I see wearing skinny jeans with peter pan shoes on. You must be in your early 20s and had to grow up with the crap that comes out now like Drake and Little Wayne, I feel sorry for you and your generation. 90s hip hop is REAL hip hop. So you can take your white country ass and go to stagecoach or better yet go back to your trailer park where you live with your parents and listen to all the insane clown posse you want. you fuckin douche bag!
    [B]Darthlaker

  27. #27

    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by Marlon Brando View Post
    That boy has been enjoying himself some fucking Mickey D's in the ATL.
    There are worse retirement plans
    I have been to concerts. I will go to concerts in the future.

  28. #28
    Member rambleonfreddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by darthlaker View Post
    Have you ever seen A Tribe Called Quest, Dr Dre & Snoop, Jay-Z, Beastie Boys, NAS or Wu-Tang Clan live?
    I dunno, man. Wu-Tang was pretty bad live.
    Last year i saw some of their set and most of Jurassic 5 and J5 blew Wu-Tang out of the water.

  29. #29
    Member Sheldorrr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    One time when I was like 13 I went on Urban Dictionary and posted about what an asshole John Lennon was, because I thought it was hilarious. This post is infinitely stupider than what I wrote as a thirteen year old yet in the same vain.
    CHECK OUT HOW ME AND MY BORING FRIENDS EXPERIENCE COACHELLA!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7FL8IWFxMU

  30. #30
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why the fuck are you needle dick hipstes excited to see OutKast! THEY WILL SUCK C

    Quote Originally Posted by rambleonfreddy View Post
    I dunno, man. Wu-Tang was pretty bad live.
    Last year i saw some of their set and most of Jurassic 5 and J5 blew Wu-Tang out of the water.
    outs himself as a peter pan shoe wearing motherfucker.
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