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Thread: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

  1. #1
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Or, the Omnibus Collection of Daft Punk, Time Slot, Pet Shop Boys Closing the Sahara, Rolling Stones are Playing Saturday Because There's No Way That's The Final Lineup, And Other Such Bullshit.
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  2. #2
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Bowie plays the Do Lab.
    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  3. #3
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    PSB better close the Sahara.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  4. #4
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I'll get a random act of kindness in the form of a pair of wristbands from someone. And Bowie. And shut the fuck up Tom.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  5. #5

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    The only reason OutKast wouldn't close out the fest is if Arcade Fire brought out GUESTS. And guests means Bowie.

  6. #6
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Arcade Fire are doing a secret set in the Gobi as the Reflektors.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  7. #7
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I'm getting a complimentary Artist pass from Paul Tollett just because he feels bad I can't make it this year.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Robin Thicke will show up with Pharrell Williams to do blurred lines, who will close the Sahara as Skrillex closes the main. Alan Thicke will dance on stage.
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Nobody has ever given a single fuck about anything you've ever had to say.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Erik or Dani: Can we change Spooks' member title to "Stupid Pigfucker"? thanks.

  9. #9
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Saturday will be the worst.
    Friday: Aloe Blacc, ZZ Ward, Caravan Palace, MS MR, Bastille, OutKast, Grouplove, Kate Nash, HAIM, Jagwar Ma, Tom Odell, Neko Case
    Saturday
    : Chvrches, Lorde, ,Foxygen, The Naked and Famous, Pharrell Williams, Muse, Empire of the Sun, Bombay Bicycle Club, Pet Shop Boys, Saints of Valory, Temples
    Sunday: Arcade Fire, Lana Del Rey, Frank Turner, John Newman, J Roddy Walston and the Business, Superchunk, STRFKR, Neutral Milk Hotel

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Did you not read the part about Alan Thicke dancing on stage? Worth the price of admission alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Nobody has ever given a single fuck about anything you've ever had to say.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Erik or Dani: Can we change Spooks' member title to "Stupid Pigfucker"? thanks.

  11. #11
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Did you not read the part about Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever
    Friday: Aloe Blacc, ZZ Ward, Caravan Palace, MS MR, Bastille, OutKast, Grouplove, Kate Nash, HAIM, Jagwar Ma, Tom Odell, Neko Case
    Saturday
    : Chvrches, Lorde, ,Foxygen, The Naked and Famous, Pharrell Williams, Muse, Empire of the Sun, Bombay Bicycle Club, Pet Shop Boys, Saints of Valory, Temples
    Sunday: Arcade Fire, Lana Del Rey, Frank Turner, John Newman, J Roddy Walston and the Business, Superchunk, STRFKR, Neutral Milk Hotel

  12. #12
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Muse has to cancel prior to Coachella, so they pull an Outside Lands and books Tenacious D to headline Saturday night.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    Did you not read the part about Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever
    Oh just you wait...
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Nobody has ever given a single fuck about anything you've ever had to say.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Erik or Dani: Can we change Spooks' member title to "Stupid Pigfucker"? thanks.

  14. #14
    Coachella Junkie Ardentbiscuit's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I would guess that Arcade Fire is going to have some kind of synchronized reflector beach balls and they will all be in formal attire.

    OutKast will just have all of their various regular collaborators like Sleepy Brown.

    Muse just have a bigger light show.

  15. #15
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    Muse has to cancel prior to Coachella, so they pull an Outside Lands and books Tenacious D to headline Saturday night.
    Except the D decide they are on the verge of becoming Sarah Jessica Parker's unmentionable cosmetic surgery overdrive, but tonight will be performing as Daft Punk and the spiders from Mars. Saturday is the Coachella's best day Evah.

    Source: consequence of sound and monklish
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  16. #16
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Psychic Friend will be giving me rides on her cart while Ivankay gives me backrubs
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  17. #17
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by koryp View Post
    I'll get a random act of kindness in the form of a pair of wristbands from someone. And Bowie. And shut the fuck up Tom.
    Last year they were stars

  18. #18

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    OutKast, The Knife and The Replacements will all be on the main but will still conflict because they will split the stage in thirds and all play at the same time. case closed everyone wins.
    '09, '12, '13

  19. #19
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    Last year they were stars
    Last year, weren't we all really just made from stars. I like hearts better anyway, I've never held a star in my hand.

    I'm also pretty sure Steve will become a multithousandaire selling his patented Daft Punk desert respirator helmets to the droves of fans in attendance for their post Grammy festival performance.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  20. #20
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    The Oasis Dome will have a special setup for the fight of the century

    Tom vs Ron
    With a undercard of
    Suzy vs ??? (from parts unknown)
    knvty in a inflatable kiddie pool filled with baby oil taking on any willing participant
    Papi Piratón!

  21. #21

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    10 minutes into Beady Eye's set, as the crowd is starting to thin, Noel walks out, he and Liam hug it out and they play a vintage '97 stripped down 40-minuted Oasis set.

  22. #22
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by grichsgang View Post
    10 minutes into Beady Eye's set, as the crowd is starting to thin, Noel walks out, he and Liam hug it out and they play a vintage '97 stripped down 40-minuted Oasis set.
    And everyone falls asleep out of sheer boredom.
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Nobody has ever given a single fuck about anything you've ever had to say.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Erik or Dani: Can we change Spooks' member title to "Stupid Pigfucker"? thanks.

  23. #23
    old school Mr. Fuzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    Arcade Fire are doing a secret set in the Gobi as the Reflektors.
    This would be amazing!
    Idol snake, get out of that skin.

  24. #24

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    I yell "play Wonderwall asshole" at least 46 times during Beadyeye's set.

    Wonderwall is not played.

  25. #25

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    And everyone falls asleep out of sheer boredom.
    You and I would (we'd probably both be at NMH or Toy Dolls), but I suspect there might be a few among the 80k that would welcome it.

  26. #26
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    The Heineken Dome is not at Coachella.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  27. #27

    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Daft Punk will play in the Yuma. The amount of people in an enclosed space will become lower than 1p/1ps, violating Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle. This will be the first time/place quantum behavior is observable in humans, a landmark for scientific observation. Unfortunately as everything nearby gravitates towards Daft Punks last live show in over seven years, including the fabric of space/time itself, a black hole of inconceivable proportions will form. Destroying the universe.
    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    The dance tent for adults.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by calnick0 View Post
    Daft Punk will play in the Yuma. The amount of people in an enclosed space will become lower than 1p/1ps, violating Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle. This will be the first time/place quantum behavior is observable in humans, a landmark for scientific observation. Unfortunately as everything nearby gravitates towards Daft Punks last live show in over seven years, including the fabric of space/time itself, a black hole of inconceivable proportions will form. Destroying the universe.
    You're an awful, awful human being.
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Nobody has ever given a single fuck about anything you've ever had to say.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Erik or Dani: Can we change Spooks' member title to "Stupid Pigfucker"? thanks.

  29. #29
    Member SoHungry310's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    Hotshot will make an appearance.
    In regards to Steve Aoki's appearance at future Coachellas:
    Quote Originally Posted by PassiveTheory View Post
    Only if you say his name thrice while in the bathroom at night with the lights turned out.

  30. #30
    Member Kindoy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Totally Unsubstantiated Speculation with No Basis In Fact Whatsoever Thread

    danny devito hologram
    crab fries

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