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Thread: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

  1. #451
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    We brought in a taco truck. All you can eat tacos paid for by the company.

  2. #452
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    My company has planned a ladies day. A party bus is picking us up at the office at 8am, we are going to the spa, having lunch, swimming and getting drunk together. There are a couple ladies I work with who are just mean people. Sober me has learned to accept/ignore them. I am worried that won't be the case with a little booze in me. I could skip drinking, but then I will have to be sober around drunk people I don't particularly care for. I am going to have to find a fine line between happy buzz and telling mean girls to fuck themselves.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  3. #453
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    maybe when you tell them to go fuck themselves they'll lighten up.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    8/2&3 HARD Summer - 8/7 Arctic Monkeys@Staples - 8/8 Cut Copy@Brooklyn Bowl - 8/22 NIN@Verizon - 8/23&24 FYF Fest - 9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House

  4. #454
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Wait, why is your company doing this?

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  5. #455
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Because the guys get all the perks, free lunches, golfing, team building, etc. While the women get stuck in the office everyday running the office. So they do this once a year in order to throw us a bone. It's nice, I guess?
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  6. #456
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I think it's a great idea despite the fact that it's rooted in gender inequality of the roles in your company, but I guess it's the nature of the industry you're in that things are more gender divided.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  7. #457
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Gender inequality: why fight it?
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  8. #458
    Member Phantasma Del Mar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    The sexism is crippling, but the spa is fantastic.

  9. #459
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I can get paid to hang out at a spa, or go to work. I don't really like the spa, but it beats working. I would rather go golfing with the guys, but I don't know how to golf.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  10. #460

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Golfing sounds feasable. My latest team-event was karting with the guys. Traumatic event. Don't do it if you have never driven a motorized vehicle before. Missed the days when I was working in an all female team and we just went out to have dinner together...

  11. #461
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Team events are fine. Events where the men and women are segregated ...i.e. 'ladies day' are illegal.

    Plus side--you now have a somewhat decent sexual harassment case opportunity.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  12. #462
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Audra, why don't you like the spa?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  13. #463
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Jen, if I had a nickel for every sexual harassment case opportunity I have come across in my 20 years in the construction industry, I would own a construction company.

    Amy, it's just not my thing. I have to choose between a facial or a massage but don't really like strangers touching me. We will be swimming, but I don't really want to wear a bathing suit in front of coworkers. Apparently there is also a gym, and we were told to bring work out clothes. FUN... Golfing just sounds more fun. Or a day of bowling, or anything that doesn't require special clothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  14. #464
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    They don't do manicures?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  15. #465
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Jen, if I had a nickel for every sexual harassment case opportunity I have come across in my 20 years in the construction industry, I would own a construction company.

    Amy, it's just not my thing. I have to choose between a facial or a massage but don't really like strangers touching me. We will be swimming, but I don't really want to wear a bathing suit in front of coworkers. Apparently there is also a gym, and we were told to bring work out clothes. FUN... Golfing just sounds more fun. Or a day of bowling, or anything that doesn't require special clothing.
    Start documenting everything
    Sue
    Retire
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  16. #466
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    That wasn't one of the options given. I would prefer a pedicure. I don't like people touching my feet either, but I do like pretty toes. I am mostly just looking forward to the free food and drinks. I am hoping some of the coworkers turn into happy lushes.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  17. #467
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Just attended a meet and greet with a new IT VP, though I'm not technically within that organization, I went for the free Krispy Kreme donuts. They highlighted his SAP upgrade experience, which we are kicking off a 16 month project for. He said something about working on Sundays and I was like "oh hell no!".

    Anyhoo, he's from Barcelona and someone asked me if he was gay. I said no, he's just European, look at his brown shoes and black belt. *hairflip*
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    8/2&3 HARD Summer - 8/7 Arctic Monkeys@Staples - 8/8 Cut Copy@Brooklyn Bowl - 8/22 NIN@Verizon - 8/23&24 FYF Fest - 9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House

  18. #468
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Now I'm all sweaty from running with a print 3 blocks to our other building. -_-

  19. #469

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    You should just fly there.... womp womp womp

  20. #470
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Hahaaaaaaaaaa

  21. #471
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    stop sending email span..stop switching over to weather channel when I try to opt out!
    lol wat

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  22. #472
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Yellow post-it notes really stress me out. Light blue clams things down a bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  23. #473
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Just took a class: Public Sector Policies Compliance Training

    Did you know we're not allowed to assist with human trafficking? Color me shocked.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    8/2&3 HARD Summer - 8/7 Arctic Monkeys@Staples - 8/8 Cut Copy@Brooklyn Bowl - 8/22 NIN@Verizon - 8/23&24 FYF Fest - 9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House

  24. #474
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Do you have some strapping young men hidden in your closet, Jorge?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  25. #475
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    My company is only against it if I'm doing it on their behalf. Therefore it's okay for me to keep the ones I have at home.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    8/2&3 HARD Summer - 8/7 Arctic Monkeys@Staples - 8/8 Cut Copy@Brooklyn Bowl - 8/22 NIN@Verizon - 8/23&24 FYF Fest - 9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House

  26. #476
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    "e.g. if there is a disctruntal employee"
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    8/2&3 HARD Summer - 8/7 Arctic Monkeys@Staples - 8/8 Cut Copy@Brooklyn Bowl - 8/22 NIN@Verizon - 8/23&24 FYF Fest - 9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House

  27. #477
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Ok, well as long as you keep your company out of your business, you should be fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  28. #478
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Subject: Remember my mane

    Body: I have forward this email to VA Commonwealth attorney office
    Pic of mane not attached.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  29. #479
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    *Neeeeigh*

  30. #480
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I, apparently, pissed off our receptionist today by (graciously) asking her to print a 1-page document for a meeting I'd been asked to come in for on my day off. I was coming in without my laptop so I emailed her a doc from my phone and asked her if she would print up a copy for me sometime within the next hour. This request caused her so much stress that she had to complain to HR about it. That totally seems like a reasonable response. Apparently, doing-a-solid for someone is not in scope.

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