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Thread: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

  1. #571
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I'm going to officially endorse Tom for his skill of being a massive dbag. =)
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    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Packer View Post
    I was talking to Randy. I almost never say a single goddamned thing to either of you.
    And yet you annoy the shit out of us anyway.
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  3. #573
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I kept falling asleep during a meeting today. Barely took any notes, and the notes I did take don't seem to make much sense to me.
    "How frequenty to receive notifations of showing"
    "Set up under damit"

  4. #574
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    if it's a large and/or long meeting and it's not disruptive, I excuse myself to the restroom so as to not fall asleep. If I have to sit there, I put my hand up to my mouth and bite my finger, or if hands are below a desk or table, pinch myself. You can also try nibbling on the inside of your cheek, but that's more of a drymouth technique, which also helps stop you from saying "uhmmmm" a lot (thank you Toastmasters).
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    11/29 2 Bears @Avalon - 12/5 Flight Facilities @Regent - 12/27 IAMX @Complex - 12/31 IAMX @Slims

  5. #575
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Our work emails are usually FirstInitialLastName@. We have a new employee starting soon that would have the email slutz@.
    I'm not sure if I should move forward with this email address or choose an alternative.

  6. #576
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    Our work emails are usually FirstInitialLastName@. We have a new employee starting soon that would have the email slutz@.
    I'm not sure if I should move forward with this email address or choose an alternative.
    That is actually hilarious, however I would ask the new hire if they've ever encountered issues with how this reads in the past and see what they'd like you to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  7. #577
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Hahaha, I dated a Bobby Lutz. Maybe add the middle initial?

  8. #578
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I just called a guy that applied with us. Offered him an interview and he told me he didn't want to come in unless I could guarantee him a job with at least 20 hours of overtime. What a waste of my time.

    November 18 - Slayer
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  9. #579
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    My old work had a guy named Chris Rapp, and I think they did the middle initial too.
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  10. #580
    Member Archie Bunker's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    True story. I worked at a place where it was firstinitial-lastname format for e-mail, and a guy got hired named Craig Hump.

    That same day, I was about to send out an e-mail for everyone in the office, and had to pause to figure out what Craig's would be. When I got "chump" I thought, "Wow, I wonder if he realizes this."

    So I went into his office and asked him if he had been officially assigned his e-mail address yet. He said no. I told him the format that would be used, and before I could finish, he angrily interrupted and said, "Oh crap, not this again. I already went through this back in college."

    He stormed out of the office and went to the system administrator, who was obnoxiously refusing to deviate from the format because he was under strict orders "not to assign custom e-mail addresses", and it started getting louder and louder in there. The door closed, and I kept finding excuses to walk by in order to hear what was going on.

    Finally the door opened, Craig, stormed out, and I saw the sysadmin on the floor. Apparently Craig hit him, and he was immediately fired that same day.






































    Just kidding, this never happened, but I wish it did.
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  11. #581
    Member Archie Bunker's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
    I just called a guy that applied with us. Offered him an interview and he told me he didn't want to come in unless I could guarantee him a job with at least 20 hours of overtime. What a waste of my time.
    Would you have rathered he came down for the interview and told you this in person?

    Sounds like he saved you time.
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

  12. #582
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
    I just called a guy that applied with us. Offered him an interview and he told me he didn't want to come in unless I could guarantee him a job with at least 20 hours of overtime. What a waste of my time.
    What kind of economy exists in Austin that one can make those kinds of pre employment demands?
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  13. #583
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Bunker View Post
    Would you have rathered he came down for the interview and told you this in person?

    Sounds like he saved you time.
    I could've hired him for a 40/hr. a week job just fine. Seeing as he was fired from his last job for insubordination, he's really not in any kind of place to make demands like this. That's why I'm annoyed.

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    What kind of economy exists in Austin that one can make those kinds of pre employment demands?
    It doesn't. We don't have one client that would allow that much overtime.

    November 18 - Slayer
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  14. #584
    Member insbordnat's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Does anyone utilize an alternative to Microsoft Project that is free/low cost for managing projects/tasks/etc.? I have a few IT implementations that I'm needing to track and really don't want to pop for MS Project. Ability to create timelines/Gantt charts would be a plus. I've used Trello before with limited success.
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  15. #585
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I interviewed for a sales coordinator position at my company, to secure that position I offered up a friend who I use to work with as a replacement candidate for my job. They told me I was over qualified for the job I wanted but offered me contract administrator job instead, then turned around and hired my friend for the original job I wanted. Her and I have the exact same work background and she has a degree, so she would be even more qualified than me. I'm kind of bothered by this.
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    I have snuck in weapons before
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    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  16. #586
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    What the fuck, that sucks, Audra.
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    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  17. #587
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Holy shit I'd be pissed too. What did your friend say? Does she feel bad?
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  18. #588
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I haven't really said anything to her about it. They had originally proposed the job I am taking to her, then the operations manager saw my resume and I assume because he already knows me and my work product, he decided to put me in the contract admin job instead. The sales job doesn't really include any accounting, which was a big plus for me. I am a great project accountant, but I prefer admin duties, numbers are boring. It just makes more sense to put the girl with the accounting degree in the accounting job, but they don't make the best business decisions here.

    At least I will be getting out of my current department and all the negativity. So that's a plus, and I do like everyone on the new team, less paperwork chasing, so it's all a plus, just not what my heart desired.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  19. #589
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Did you enjoy your day playing hooky, Audra?

  20. #590
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I did. It wasn't a full day though, just 4 hours. We played poker and had some good food. Nick's working up in Prescott for the next 8 weeks (2 hours north), he's up there Monday - Thursday and off on Friday. I am going to try to work it out so I can work over during the week and leave early on Friday too. My ultimate work week would be 4 10s, but I don't think they would go for that.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  21. #591
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Anything is possible.

  22. #592
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Not sure if Jamaica is really the best place to open a call center, but go right ahead.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  23. #593
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    but I don't think they would go for that.
    How come? A lot of companies are moving towards flex schedules, etc. May be worth the shot. Especially if Fridays tend to be unproductive work days anyway (like they are here).
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  24. #594
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I would love to work 4 days and have a 3 day weekend all the time. That would be amazing. My mandatory weekly work hours are 37.5 so that would be a breeze. Never gonna happen though.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  25. #595
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    How come? A lot of companies are moving towards flex schedules, etc. May be worth the shot. Especially if Fridays tend to be unproductive work days anyway (like they are here).
    I am going to feel it out for a bit first. I just know that being "support staff", the guys I am suppose to support get irritated if they need something and I am not at their beck and call. Most of them cut out early on Friday, but they are at least here in the morning.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  26. #596
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I am going to feel it out for a bit first. I just know that being "support staff", the guys I am suppose to support get irritated if they need something and I am not at their beck and call. Most of them cut out early on Friday, but they are at least here in the morning.
    Maybe you could work 9 hours Mon-Thurs and half day on Friday?

    Also, it's shorts day at work. Yay us.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    11/29 2 Bears @Avalon - 12/5 Flight Facilities @Regent - 12/27 IAMX @Complex - 12/31 IAMX @Slims

  27. #597
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    That is kind of what I am thinking to start, and see how it goes from there. First I want to get into the new department and woo them. That shouldn't be difficult, I just spent 2 hours training and they don't even know how excel works. FORMULAS ARE YOUR FRIEND!
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  28. #598
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    yeah, it's hard for support staff to work four 10's.

    there's this lady i'm friendly with at work. she's not in my department, but we're on the same project team. we go to lunch together and chat, but when it comes to work, she never responds to my emails. it's so bizarre. she responds to one-off emails, but when it comes to agreed-upon methods for obtaining status on something, nothing. i am not sure how to talk to her about this because she has more power than me and can be a bit curt. we have a meeting this afternoon where i kind of have to bring this up because another team member is frustrated too.
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  29. #599
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    If no email response, sametime her. If no sametime response, walk to her desk. "I need an update on XYZ, can you respond to my email before you leave for the day? Thanks so much, John Doe needs that to finish his piece". Since you're friendly with her, the desk visit can serve as a personal touch and you may get some insight as to why she's not answering emails (swamped with other stuff?).
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    11/29 2 Bears @Avalon - 12/5 Flight Facilities @Regent - 12/27 IAMX @Complex - 12/31 IAMX @Slims

  30. #600
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    yeah unfortunately she is not in this building much anymore. she is also a PM, so it is hard to get in touch. today i am going to ask for the millionth time if we can do something differently to make it easier to get these status updates, but it seems like whatever we agree on doesn't actually happen. i should probably IM her more, i just hate IM and i know how hard it is to respond or even find her online when she's leading so many meetings. we're all busy, but these things have to be done and are really standard to project management.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

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