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Thread: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

  1. #541
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    No problem. I'll send you a text, and an email, and a PM, and a singing telegram. Why? Because you're awesome!!!!!

  2. #542
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I have never received a singing telegram.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  3. #543
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    PM me your work address and I'll make it happen.

  4. #544
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Make it a stripper-gram.

  5. #545
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    You can do it girl!! Nothing to lose!!
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  6. #546
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I did it, now the managers have to hash it out. Fingers crossed.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  7. #547
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    My work cubicle is between the cubes of six women, three on each side. Smells like fish.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    You bitchez will all CUM-ba-ya when y'all see my pee-shooter.
    Follow kvny on instagram :: "Lorde is my shepherd. I shall not want."

  8. #548
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Additional Skills: Misogyny

  9. #549
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I hope those women complain about the smell of dick on your breath, kvnty
    last.fm
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    7/16/14 Planes Mistaken For Stars - Echo // 8/23-24/14 FYF Fest - Expo Park //8/25/14 Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl // 9/12-14/14 Riotfest - Humboldt Park, Chicago, IL
    9/18/14 Neutral Milk Hotel - Hollywood Bowl

  10. #550
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I burped once and cum sprayed outta my mouth.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    You bitchez will all CUM-ba-ya when y'all see my pee-shooter.
    Follow kvny on instagram :: "Lorde is my shepherd. I shall not want."

  11. #551
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    some woman i see sometimes in the break room talked to me in the bathroom about the long weekend for longer than was necessary. the best part of the conversation was her admitting that her and some of her family go out and shoot automatic weapons in the desert.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  12. #552
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition


  13. #553

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Funny read but kind of cheesy in practice.

    My strategy in meetings has always been to make everyone else proud that they thought of my ideas first. So, I instill my idea in their heads, get them to blurp it out, and then commend them for being so fucking brilliant.

  14. #554
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Supttering nonsensically about shoes to the guy taking your burger order isn't a "meeting," Vigo. Also, that's a great list for how to come across as a total douchebag.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  15. #555

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    They call me "sly like a fox", Cara. Because I treat everyone as a potential investor and keep all my receipts in my briefcase.

  16. #556
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition


    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  17. #557
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Packer View Post
    They call me "sly like a fox"
    Apparently they are fond of threadbare clichs used ironically.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  18. #558
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    our mainframe developers are going scrum. this next year is going to be fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    8/2&3 HARD Summer - 8/7 Arctic Monkeys@Staples - 8/8 Cut Copy@Brooklyn Bowl - 8/22 NIN@Verizon - 8/23&24 FYF Fest - 9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House

  19. #559

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Apparently they are fond of threadbare clichs used ironically.
    No, It's because of my reputation as a shrewd business man.

    Like, for instance, when came down here to Irvine to start my film production business. There were these five Persian guys who had the whole market cornered. So I says to them I says "listen, I'm going to come here and take all the business anyways so why don't you each pay me 25% of your earnings and i'll stay in L.A. So the next thing you know I was making 125% off the film production business in Orange County
    Last edited by Packer; 07-07-2014 at 03:43 PM.

  20. #560
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Weird.

  21. #561
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Vigo, Persian guys selling VHS tapes on the street is not a film production business.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  22. #562
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Packer View Post
    No, It's because of my reputation as a shrewd business man.

    Like, for instance, when came down here to Irvine to start my film production business. There were these five Persian guys who had the whole market cornered. So I says to them I says "listen, I'm going to come here and take all the business anyways so why don't you each pay me 25% of your earnings and i'll stay in L.A. So the next thing you know I was making 125% off the film production business in Orange County
    Vigo is a shrewd business man who thinks that getting 25 percent of 5 different revenue streams means he's getting 125 percent.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  23. #563
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    BTW, did anyone else get a fucking LINKEDIN request from Tom today? I'm shocked.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  24. #564

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    You know what, I didn't log on here to get bullied. Let me explain a little history here with this Randy guy. I'm minding my own business and in 2011 this "the last great man" messages me looking for help and he is crying like a little school boy who is getting picked on in the yard. And he is almost in tears talking about how he needs help and how everyone is taking advantage of him and its like the old song " You will rue the day you met the guy", right. So I call a friend who knows the guy and he tells me "listen, I know this Randy guy, he has a bad reputation, don't get involved with him."

    I will tell you I have done business on a handshake from the late 90s. I will tell you categorically that Randy knew he wasn't going to get half the profits. This guy was in such trouble, he knew that he wasn't going to get half the profits. At the very end of the deal, before the deal was signed, he has the audacity to ask "YOU HAVE TO DO ME A FAVOR AND SIGN SCHMUCK INSURANCE SO IF YOU FLIP THE STOCK THEN I GET HALF THE PROFITS!". I said, hey, Randy, I'm not going to flip the stock. I'm going to make a tender offer for it. And I did. So like they say on Wall St. "If you want a friend, get a dog."

    But let me just say, this guy Randy takes inordinate risks and I would never invest with him.
    Last edited by Packer; 07-07-2014 at 07:00 PM.

  25. #565
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Shut the fuck up
    last.fm
    6/15/14 Failure - Glasshouse // 7/9/14 Cloud Nothings/Metz - Roxy
    7/16/14 Planes Mistaken For Stars - Echo // 8/23-24/14 FYF Fest - Expo Park //8/25/14 Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl // 9/12-14/14 Riotfest - Humboldt Park, Chicago, IL
    9/18/14 Neutral Milk Hotel - Hollywood Bowl

  26. #566

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Yes please shut the fuck up and go away

  27. #567

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I was talking to Randy. I almost never say a single goddamned thing to either of you.

    Last edited by Packer; 07-07-2014 at 09:47 PM.

  28. #568
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    BTW, did anyone else get a fucking LINKEDIN request from Tom today? I'm shocked.
    I got one after I online stalked him.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  29. #569
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I have not, and that makes me sad.

    My boss sent an email out to everyone saying she no longer wanted to be copied on all the emails going around about billing questions. The only one that copies her on emails is the crazy lady who hates me. So instead of pulling her aside and saying stop tattling you crazy broad, she sent a group email out telling her to stop tattling. Hahaha.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  30. #570
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    You have not shown up on my "people you might know" list.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

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