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Thread: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

  1. #391
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    So...what was for lunch?
    Yes, how did they redeem themselves for their blatant classism?
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  2. #392

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldorrr View Post
    Yes, how did they redeem themselves for their blatant classism?
    Stop trying so hard.

  3. #393
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Stop trying so hard.
    You were adopted
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  4. #394
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    They served Paradise Bakery sandwiches, pasta salad, regular salad and cookies... It arrived at 12:45 (most of us eat lunch at 11) and they made sure to announce over the intercom that the ladies should all go first, since it's their day...
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    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  5. #395
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Hahaha! Love it. this entire thing. wonderful.

  6. #396
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I accepted a permanent job offer yesterday with my current company. I guess my boss decided she'd rather have me in Phoenix than not at all. I don't have to move, and the job came with a promotion and 12% raise.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  7. #397
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I accepted a permanent job offer yesterday with my current company. I guess my boss decided she'd rather have me in Phoenix than not at all. I don't have to move, and the job came with a promotion and 12% raise.
    Hey congratulations!!! Safari tent next year?
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  8. #398
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Congrats Captn!
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
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  9. #399
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Congrats Jen! That's great news. Although, I know you guys were kind of excited to move to Oregon, but now you guys can just afford more trips.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  10. #400
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I accepted a permanent job offer yesterday with my current company. I guess my boss decided she'd rather have me in Phoenix than not at all. I don't have to move, and the job came with a promotion and 12% raise.
    congrats!

    does this mean they're not gonna de-hub PHX?
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  11. #401
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    and they made sure to announce over the intercom that the ladies should all go first, since it's their day...
    oh god what assholes.

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I accepted a permanent job offer yesterday with my current company. I guess my boss decided she'd rather have me in Phoenix than not at all. I don't have to move, and the job came with a promotion and 12% raise.
    congratulations!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  12. #402
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I accepted a permanent job offer yesterday with my current company. I guess my boss decided she'd rather have me in Phoenix than not at all. I don't have to move, and the job came with a promotion and 12% raise.
    That's amazing, congrats!!
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
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  13. #403
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    congrats!

    does this mean they're not gonna de-hub PHX?
    There's going to be a decent-sized corporate presence here...all of payroll and revenue accounting, plus a lot of IT folks and they're building a giant Customer Experience center here. Don't know about the hub but it makes money, so I doubt they'll dump it.

    And thanks everyone. I've spent the last year and a half waiting to get laid off...so this is a big relief.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  14. #404
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    are they going to make you keep traveling as much as you are now? we should have lunch and discuss
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  15. #405
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    are they going to make you keep traveling as much as you are now? we should have lunch and discuss
    Yes to lunch. Won't have to travel as much. Probably once a month for a few days a pop. Much easier.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  16. #406
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Congrats Jen. It's great to emerge out of a transition like this with not just a secure role, but also the experience of going through it.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  17. #407
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I accepted a permanent job offer yesterday with my current company. I guess my boss decided she'd rather have me in Phoenix than not at all. I don't have to move, and the job came with a promotion and 12% raise.
    Yay, Jen!!

  18. #408
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    We just hired a new marketing person to replace this super cool marketing guy who got fired. No one told him he was getting sacked in advance - that he was having performance issues etc., he actually carpooled to work that day with a different employee who then had to take him home. The new marketing person is a woman from Chicago who is now the most obnoxious person in the office. She has an awful midwest accent, yells into her phone, and constantly talks about what a shitty job the guy she replaced must've done. She also takes every opportunity to mention she hates Denver.
    Last edited by Sheldorrr; 04-28-2014 at 10:04 AM.
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  19. #409
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    No one told him he was getting fired, except for the person who told him he was fired.

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  20. #410
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    No one told him he was getting fired, except for the person who told him he was fired.
    Hahaha I changed it to be more clear, but wouldn't you expect to be told in advance at least a little bit? He actually worked for five hours that day not even knowing.
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  21. #411
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldorrr View Post
    Hahaha I changed it to be more clear, but wouldn't you expect to be told in advance at least a little bit? He actually worked for five hours that day not even knowing.
    How do you suppose that would go down?
    "Sorry marketing guy, we have some bad news. You are going to be fired today. It's not happening just yet, but will happen sometime later today, so be ready."

    ....
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  22. #412
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    How do you suppose that would go down?
    "Sorry marketing guy, we have some bad news. You are going to be fired today. It's not happening just yet, but will happen sometime later today, so be ready."

    ....
    I mean maybe something more like "Sorry marketing guy your performance has been below par, you have x amount of time to turn it around if not you'll be fired".

    And

    I think if you know you'll be firing someone you should at least tell them at End of Business the day before, or first thing the day of.
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  23. #413
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldorrr View Post
    I mean maybe something more like "Sorry marketing guy your performance has been below par, you have x amount of time to turn it around if not you'll be fired".
    So what you are referring to is not his actual termination, but giving him the chance to go on a performance improvement plan so he may not be fired if he improves. These are two different things.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  24. #414
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Nope. I meant what you originally took from my quote. They should've said "Sorry marketing guy, we have some bad news. You are going to be fired today. It's not happening just yet, but will happen sometime later today, so be ready.". Because this is all advance notice can mean. In fact when I inevitably become division manager, everyone is getting fired this way.
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  25. #415
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldorrr View Post
    Nope. I meant what you originally took from my quote. They should've said "Sorry marketing guy, we have some bad news. You are going to be fired today. It's not happening just yet, but will happen sometime later today, so be ready.". Because this is all advance notice can mean. In fact when I inevitably become division manager, everyone is getting fired this way.
    I have my doubts that you could ever become a division manager believing that sort of termination approach is a good idea. Further to that - the only reasonable outcome I can imagine for you would start out like this:

    "Sorry Sheldorrr - I have some bad news..."
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  26. #416
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I have my doubts that you could ever become a division manager believing that sort of termination approach is a good idea. Further to that - the only reasonable outcome I can imagine for you would start out like this:

    "Sorry Sheldorrr - I have some bad news..."
    What the fuck weird kind of sarcasm do I need to use for you to understand it?
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  27. #417
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldorrr View Post
    What the fuck weird kind of sarcasm do I need to use for you to understand it?
    The kind that actually sounds sarcastic and funny and makes you not sound like an idiot.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  28. #418
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldorrr View Post
    Hahaha I changed it to be more clear, but wouldn't you expect to be told in advance at least a little bit? He actually worked for five hours that day not even knowing.
    What's the point in keeping him around the office if you already notified him that he was going to get fired? You're just leaving the door open for him to wreak havoc on the company.

  29. #419
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    What's the point in keeping him around the office if you already notified him that he was going to get fired? You're just leaving the door open for him to wreak havoc on the company.
    Yes, I realize now that my phrasing was horrible and what I meant was letting him know that he wasn't meeting the expectations of an employee in his position and that the next step was firing.
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  30. #420
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Sounds like you were in love with this guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

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