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Thread: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

  1. #211
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    our VP is listening to the thong song, criss-cross, barbie girl, SMALL FUCKING WORLD, that "i'm blue, i would beat off a guy" song, and vanilla ice loudly. can i fucking just go home? apparently he has a playlist of the most annoying songs he says. awesome. thanks for sharing so loudly.

    and he said the thong song is an edited version, but i guess we have differing opinions on "let the booty go" and work.
    HAHAHAHA
    I'd be pulling my hair out if I were actually there.

  2. #212
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Someone's cell phone went off during the company wide meeting today. Sarah McLauchlin's "I Will Remember You."

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  3. #213
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Someone's cell phone went off during the company wide meeting today. Sarah McLauchlin's "I Will Remember You."
    I almost started crying, thinking about those poor helpless animals that need my money.

  4. #214
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    that "i'm blue, i would beat off a guy" song.
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    Nobody has ever given a single fuck about anything you've ever had to say.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Erik or Dani: Can we change Spooks' member title to "Stupid Pigfucker"? thanks.

  5. #215
    old school zenidogx's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I start a new job in San Francisco on Wednesday. I'll be providing case assistance for a plaintiffs law firm. After going through a two hour marathon of interviews, I felt way under-qualified and out of place. But sure enough, here I am.
    Mazxy star was nice and dreamy robightm crowd wouldn't follow no photo request. First time in the green room. Mmm free beer and wine.glad I got to see them Cruz I missed Coachella 3012

  6. #216
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    congratulations.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  7. #217
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    The company ordered us bbq lunch today, i am all for free food but I could do without the 15 minute conversation about spicy weiners.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  8. #218
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Last Week:

    Coworker: The projector in the conference room hasn't been working properly all the time, who do I tell?

    Me: If you let IT know, they'll fix it for you.

    Today:

    Coworker: Hey, I feel like I told you about this last week, but the projector STILL isn't working.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  9. #219
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    i feel your pain. i am THE only person who EVER submits a ticket to change printer cartridges or fix jams. one person told me the printers magically send a signal to IT that they are broke and they come fix it. this was after a printer was broken for two weeks. i opened a ticket and it was fixed the next day.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  10. #220
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I get to leave on time today since several people are out sick and my 4pm meeting got rescheduled. There should be a law against Friday afternoon meetings that don't involve an open bar.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    Coachella W2 - 4/25 Dillinger Escape Plan@Glass House - 5/1 The Horrors@First Unitarian Church - 5/9 Big Freedia@Echoplex - 6/28 Robyn/Royksopp@Bill Graham

  11. #221
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    luckily document control handles the printer issues, otherwise I'm sure it would be the same situation here. so instead of the printer, it's the water bottle. I don't mind changing it, but, FUCKING TELL ME IT'S EMPTY!! lazy fucks.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  12. #222
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    LOLOL, some guy just walked up to my VP and said he went to high school with him and hated him in high school. but he doesn't hate him now. omg this is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  13. #223
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I've been CCed on a bunch of emails between one of our managers and an outside temp agency consultant lately. For some reason the consultant's last name comes up first in the Outlook inbox (LAST, First), but it's a completely obvious and popular last name and a pretty distinct female first name, AND she signs her emails with her first name first. But our employee keeps addressing her by her last name. It's fantastic.

    DEAR COMMON LATINO LAST NAME,

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  14. #224

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by zenidogx View Post
    I start a new job in San Francisco on Wednesday. I'll be providing case assistance for a plaintiffs law firm. After going through a two hour marathon of interviews, I felt way under-qualified and out of place. But sure enough, here I am.
    Whoa! So you're moving to SF?
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  15. #225
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I don't know how old that post is, but congratsnon the new job, zenixdog!
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  16. #226
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Is anybody else somewhat fascinated by workplace IM’s? Whether it’s one of the higher-ups mumbling incoherent phrases, the person who types like a txt msg, or the lifeless person whom you’ve never heard utter a single word using bright green font and excessive exclamation points.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  17. #227
    old school zenidogx's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    congratulations.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I don't know how old that post is, but congratsnon the new job, zenixdog!
    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Whoa! So you're moving to SF?
    I've officially been in the Bay a week, but was up for a couple weeks during the hiring process. Moved up here with no savings, but fortunately friends are hosting me until I get a place of my own.

    The place I work is amazing. Health and vision coverage plus a nice little commuter check. Such a diverse office, too. It's a giant leap from my previous work - up here I'm treated like an adult!
    Mazxy star was nice and dreamy robightm crowd wouldn't follow no photo request. First time in the green room. Mmm free beer and wine.glad I got to see them Cruz I missed Coachella 3012

  18. #228
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    yeah office talk, what's deal with people not knowing how to make a proper pot of coffee? I saw one of the office people at my job walk out of the kitchen area with her hands up in the air going I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE COFFEE ! We also have a Keurig machine which I personally do not like since it doesn't taste right to me.Recently though since the office part of the shop has introduce a plastic cup cut to the proper size for filling up with coffee ground to make the amount of coffee where everybody agrees isn't too strong nor too lite.Which has solved I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE COFFEE lady's problem.
    Last edited by getbetter; 02-05-2014 at 07:42 PM.

    Trentemoller @ Mezzanine 04/06/14
    The Knife @ The Fox 04/15/14
    Factory Floor @ The Independent 04/16/14
    The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's 04/17/14
    Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's 04/26/15
    Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch 05/02-04/14
    The Decemberist @ Crystal Ballroom 05/30/14
    Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ The Warfield 07/07/14


    Last.fm
    Quote Originally Posted by psychic friend View Post
    thanks for whatever you did in mexico.



  19. #229
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    I've updated my resume and one version of my cover letter for the first time in 3 years in anticipation of an upcoming job application. Am I mistaken or was someone on here an HR manager or recruiter who was offering to take a quick look at people's resumes? Might have been in my original Office Space thread that got locked for some reason. I'm already having a couple of HR folks and a marketing c-level exec take a look at it for me, but would always appreciate a second set of eyes.

    Note: not looking for detailed proofreading or rewriting; just overall impressions and any helpful suggestions.

  20. #230
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by RageAgainstTheAoki View Post
    I've updated my resume and one version of my cover letter for the first time in 3 years in anticipation of an upcoming job application. Am I mistaken or was someone on here an HR manager or recruiter who was offering to take a quick look at people's resumes? Might have been in my original Office Space thread that got locked for some reason. I'm already having a couple of HR folks and a marketing c-level exec take a look at it for me, but would always appreciate a second set of eyes.

    Note: not looking for detailed proofreading or rewriting; just overall impressions and any helpful suggestions.
    Hey Rage,
    I do a lot of resume review via my Job Search/Resume help thread. I'll PM you my email address if you'd like to send me a Word doc copy, and I can let you know of any suggestions?
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  21. #231
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Cheers!

  22. #232
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    My job is moving to Dallas, but we have decided to NOT move to Dallas, so I had a talk with my boss this morning. I'm going to have to start transitioning my daily duties and acting as a consultant to the team in Texas. But she did tell me that I have at least 12 - 18 months left, so that's good I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  23. #233
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    12-18 months? That's more notice than most people get, should be plenty of time to line up something else. Good luck!

  24. #234
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by RageAgainstTheAoki View Post
    12-18 months? That's more notice than most people get, should be plenty of time to line up something else. Good luck!
    Yeah it's plenty of time. Just sad that it's ending is all.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  25. #235
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    For sure. But on the positive side, having real world experience helping a company during a large cultural shift is something that recruiters seem to find valuable. At least that's been my experience having come from several orgs which have gone through dramatic restructuring. And, you have at least a year to build up some new impressive achievements on that resume. Or, you know, finally sleep with that co-worker who's been giving you a ladyboner.

  26. #236
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    That is true. I'm going to spend the next year pretty much exclusively working on a long-term recognition strategy and implementing a long-term, multi-million dollar recognition program for a Fortune 100 company. Plus, I'll be able to get a certification completed that I need to complete and stuff. I've had my ups and downs here but I really like my boss, I get paid a decent wage, and I have a ton of work/life balance...so that'll be hard to say goodbye to.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  27. #237
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    ThatGirl rocks. That is all.

  28. #238
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Quote Originally Posted by RageAgainstTheAoki View Post
    ThatGirl rocks. That is all.
    Aww.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  29. #239
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    Me: Hey _____ you entered this credit as a debit, can you please re-enter the document correctly?
    Him: Well if it's a credit it should say CREDIT on the top.
    Me: Well, the dollar amount is in brackets, so that automatically means it's a credit.
    Him: No, not always....

    Really?
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  30. #240
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread II - humanitarian edition

    If you are going to host a call with 60+ attendees, please turn off the announcement that tells everybody's name when they join or leave the conference.
    Friday: Aloe Blacc, ZZ Ward, Caravan Palace, MS MR, Bastille, OutKast, Grouplove, Kate Nash, HAIM, Jagwar Ma, Tom Odell, Neko Case
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    : Chvrches, Lorde, ,Foxygen, The Naked and Famous, Pharrell Williams, Muse, Empire of the Sun, Bombay Bicycle Club, Pet Shop Boys, Saints of Valory, Temples
    Sunday: Arcade Fire, Lana Del Rey, Frank Turner, John Newman, J Roddy Walston and the Business, Superchunk, STRFKR, Neutral Milk Hotel

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