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Thread: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

  1. #1
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Go ahead. Look up his review of any of your favorite albums and see if he doesn't take all the fun out of them in four or less sentences, even when he gives it a good rating.

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    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    I killed Christgau with my big fucking dick
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  3. #3
    old school pancakespancakes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock



    Better yet just look at him.
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Put a boombox playing Sarah McLachlan behind a fan, call it a day.

  4. #4
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    A name like that can surely only belong to a once-off Family Guy supporting character.

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    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Christgau
    The Arcade Fire: Funeral [Merge, 2004]
    First you notice that the opener really is kinda gorgeous, with its twin-xylophone-echoed piano flourish and all. Then you isolate Win Butler's sob and fantasize about throttling the twit, an immature impulse unmitigated by the lyrics, which are histrionic even for a guy who's just lost a grandparent (or whoever). But if you keep at it till the next song, which tells the story of his runaway older brother getting bitten by a vampire, you begin to admire his resilience--he's retained a sense of the ridiculous, which is more than you can say of most young twits who sing about losing a grandparent (or whoever). And that's how the album goes--too fond of drama, but aware of its small place in the big world, and usually beautiful. N.B.: if you're considering Montreal, which is certainly my favorite Canadian place, the ex-Texans and -Haitian here want to make clear that it's horribly cold. A-
    That's probably the most praise I've ever read him give an album.

  6. #6
    Dick Nicewonger kreutz2112's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Who is this guy? Really, I am legitimately asking. Why should we care?
    RAPE STOVE

    white power?!

  7. #7
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Yeah, (obviously) they were the two reviews I read first, so I was kinda confused what the problem was.

    I mean this:

    To remind us that anxiety is in his bones, Win Butler refurbishes the 2003 plaint "No Cars Go" as a football cheer about the safe place just before sleep. But everywhere else he emerges from his precious privacy and names the things he has to be afraid of, things he shares with all of us -- religions run amok, rising tides, the surveillance state, a cowboy-in-chief with so little to lose he could start World War III on a dare. He doesn't tame his fears by naming them, or hint that they can be overcome, although in "The Well and the Lighthouse," he advises the lighthouse: "If you leave, them ships are gonna wreck." But he and his large band of unarty art-rockers rock so hard and so beautiful they can propel anyone who listens past the end of the record. They thud rather than thunder. But what a loud and joyous thud it is
    is a fairly elegant summation of Neon Bible, even if he does score it too high.

  8. #8
    old school pancakespancakes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by kreutz2112 View Post
    Who is this guy? Really, I am legitimately asking. Why should we care?
    He invented the Village Voice Pazz & Jop poll... which is probably a pretty cool contribution to music criticism, and more than likely, his only one.

    Other than that, he was born without talent, he never developed any talent, he hasn't an ear for music, and he's been around forever. Which is why he writes for Rolling Stone.
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Put a boombox playing Sarah McLachlan behind a fan, call it a day.

  9. #9
    old school JebusLives's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    music critics are all parasites, this one just seems more of a parody than the average.
    Quote Originally Posted by juloxx View Post
    Your stupid

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Right, I've read some of his stuff, and although he is indeed an unusually pompous cock, he nonetheless stands dwarfed in the shadow of somebody like Sasha Frere Jones, whose pompous cockery is of such biblical magnitude it can interfere with the very tides.

    Not the shittiest of a shitty breed by any stretch, I'd say.
    Last edited by MissingPerson; 06-23-2009 at 07:45 PM.

  11. #11
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    OH, Christgau is just about the worst. He calls himself the Dean of Rock Critics. Thurston Moore had an awesome feud with him because he reviewed one of their albums without having heard a copy of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  12. #12
    old school sonnyboy11's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    I could be wrong, but I want to say Chirstgau is responsible for ripping the greatest live band ever, Queen, on every studio effort they put forth. Of course some of that may be due to Wenner's micro_managing- he hated them too. Bottom line is Queen was amazing live and had some good studio efforts. Rolling Stone can eat my ass.

  13. #13
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    YOu're probably wrong since he only recently started writing for Rolling Stone. He used to be the main critic and senior editor at the Village Voice.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  14. #14
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Christgau is an interesting read. I have a book or two of his. He has his point of view and it's well thought out and he delivers it with wit, sometimes.

    that said, he is indeed a pompous cock and gets so many reviews wrong that I fantasize about throttling the twit. He was once on the cutting edge of thinking about what pop and rock mean, but it's passed him by.

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    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  16. #16
    old school sonnyboy11's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    YOu're probably wrong since he only recently started writing for Rolling Stone. He used to be the main critic and senior editor at the Village Voice.
    Fair enough. Quick reponse by the way! I appreciate that. Still, I cannot stand Rolling Stone these days.

    I used to read VV when I lived in NY but not the music articles so much, oddly enough. I mainly wanted to know who was playing where, when. And I read the social articles. I'll be back there in the city for a few days this year and I'm definitely looking forward to it.

  17. #17
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    that said, he is indeed a pompous cock and gets so many reviews wrong that I fantasize about throttling the twit.
    'Cause of the histrionics.

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    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    OH, Christgau is just about the worst. He calls himself the Dean of Rock Critics. Thurston Moore had an awesome feud with him because he reviewed one of their albums without having heard a copy of it.
    I think I read an essay of his (Christgau's) once that he considers himself friends with Kim & Thurston and has been to their house and met their kids.

    I also think I read a review of his that said he listened to albums a minimum of 10 times before reviewing them.

    I bet he's full of shit on both counts.

  19. #19
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Also, when writing an essay for the Pazz & Jop poll for the Village Voice, he accused all other reviewers of being racists. this was recently, within the last 5 years.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Just ignore him, he'll die soon enough...
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Yea I think a lot of men think they are bad ass, but a 12 year old with a AK can take me out I know ...... cr****

  21. #21
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by MissingPerson View Post
    'Cause of the histrionics.
    right. though to be fair, I think he has a point, because (1) I think i also once used the word "histrionics" in reference to the first AF album in a post on this or the old board and (2) that's why I like Neon Bible better.

  22. #22
    Brackish African wmgaretjax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    I remember reading a while back that the Moore vs. Christgau thing was all a hoax, but I can't seem to remember where I saw that.

    Regardless of what you think about the guy's opinions and how he goes about unabashedly jizzing all over your face, he's fucking smart.

  23. #23
    old school pancakespancakes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by wmgaretjax View Post
    he's fucking smart.
    If this is somehow true... he clearly doesn't like to show off.
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Put a boombox playing Sarah McLachlan behind a fan, call it a day.

  24. #24

    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    One of the most hilarious things ever recorded is Lou Reed on one of his many live albums (non-bootleg) where he does a 10 minute long version of "Walk On The Wild Side",with about 5 devoted to ripping on Christgau.He and that guy from the LA Times (Hilburn) are my least favorite music critics.Lester Bangs is of course the greatest,and that guy from Rolling Stone now that only reviews old bluegrass records is good also.
    I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.

  25. #25
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    from Salon interview from 2001

    Quote Originally Posted by salon interview
    Do you think you worked out of that way of thinking?

    I think that the culture simply passed me by. Canonization is institutional. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a canonizing institution. Jann Wenner has worked to make Rolling Stone the keeper of the canon since 1970. I don't like that, because he uses institutional power and he uses economic power to enforce those standards. Similarly, when MTV does one of its incredibly stupid historical rundowns -- which it does four times a year of some dumb shit or other -- it's using its institutional and economic power to enforce a canon. I just express my tastes. But I think that there was a time in, say, the '70s when my tastes were so in keeping with the conventional critical wisdom that I was a kind of a canon keeper.

    Kind of an anti-canon canonizer?

    I was and I wasn't. For the critics I wasn't. Maybe for the industry I was 'cause I always liked punk. But critics never had any problems with the Sex Pistols and the Clash; it was just the industry that did.

    None of your books has presented your work in a canonizing way. Maybe specific essays do.

    Somebody may well ask me to write a canonizing record book.

    And would you?

    If the money were right, I wouldn't hesitate to do it. But even then, Dr. Dre and Radiohead would not be in that book. Now Radiohead is the most important rock band in the world by acclamation. Bull fucking shit, you know. They suck. And whether I'll be vindicated or not I don't know.
    Quote Originally Posted by salon interview
    Do you have a top five artists of all time?

    Louis Armstrong, Thelonious Monk, Chuck Berry, the Beatles and the New York Dolls. Those are the ones that mean the most to me. The reason the Dolls are in there is that there ought to be something that was a skyrocket that didn't prove to last. And for me they were a life-changing band. Al Green and George Clinton would probably be my next two. If there were a woman, it would probably be Billie Holiday. The artists that have meant most to me in the last 10 years are probably Pavement and Sonic Youth. Sonic Youth, of course, once called for my death.

    Did that endear them even further?

    No, it didn't. I hated it. At first it was in "Kill Yr. Idols," where they actually did call for my death.

    That's scary.

    Yes, because there are nuts out there, you know. Then there was the Flexi-single and someone suggested they call it "I Killed Christgau With My Big Fucking Dick." Which I then listed as in my top 10 singles only at Carola's suggestion. I called it "I Killed Christgau With My Big Fucking Dick and Now It Don't Work No More."
    Last edited by TomAz; 06-24-2009 at 09:29 AM.

  26. #26
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    right. though to be fair, I think he has a point, because (1) I think i also once used the word "histrionics" in reference to the first AF album in a post on this or the old board and (2) that's why I like Neon Bible better.
    It seems to me slightly churlish to gripe about songs about kids sounding immature. It would be like ripping on Hail to the Thief for sounding a bit gloomy. That said, like I say, can't really disagree with either of those AF reviews. I think they're pretty much on the money.

    More blatant examples of cockery, please?

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    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock


  28. #28
    old school JebusLives's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    OH, Christgau is just about the worst. He calls himself the Dean of Rock Critics. Thurston Moore had an awesome feud with him because he reviewed one of their albums without having heard a copy of it.
    I just googled "Christgau Moore feud" and this freaking thread came up *eyeroll*
    Quote Originally Posted by juloxx View Post
    Your stupid

  29. #29
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    The Soft Bulletin [Warner Bros., 1999]
    Tiptoeing along the precipice that divides the charmingly serious from the hopelessly ridiculous, this year's Prestigious Pink Floyd Tribute by a Long-Running Band of Some Repute and Less Distinction enjoys two advantages over OK Computer and Deserter's Songs. Not only does it map out a sonic identity, the chief selling point of all these records, but it's not above pretty. And lead genius Wayne Coyne mixes up the quotidian and the cosmic in the best American psychedelic tradition, with a social dimension more grounded than the usual dystopian mishmash-heroic scientists, gosh. All that granted, however, listeners with no generational stake in how old alt bands impact history are obliged not only to contend with Coyne's wispy voice and chronic confusion, but to stifle their giggles when Steven Drozd bangs his drums all over a song mixing up summer love and mosquito bites. That is,these guys are Not Joking. Ever. Which makes them hopelessly ridiculous. B

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Robert Christgau is a pompous cock

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Dont post spam, Tom.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Yea I think a lot of men think they are bad ass, but a 12 year old with a AK can take me out I know ...... cr****

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