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Thread: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

  1. #1
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    You wake in a dim corridor. Your memory is hazy, but there's no mistaking your physical state–you're a wreck. Whatever happened here was pretty serious. Serious and cold. Really, really cold. Your face is nearly frozen to the grate below. With tremendous difficulty, you haul yourself into a sitting position to get your bearings and find that you're in the central vertex of the ship you've called home for the past year. The ship isn't moving, and the weighted silence confirms your worst fear: the life support system is down. Your pain will have to wait. There's not-dying to be done.

    Type "INVENTORY" to examine your inventory. Type "HELP" for assistance.

  2. #2
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    INVENTORY
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  3. #3
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Your pockets are empty. You're wearing a WRISTWATCH, but it doesn't appear to be functioning.

  4. #4
    Coachella Junkie rage patton's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    EXPLORE GRATE
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    And it's been long established that Chris hates fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hatinisbad View Post
    I took my niece this year and it was her first Coachella. It was so fun to see it through her eyes. She thought it felt like a magical scene from Shreck. The one where all the fairy tale creatures meet for the first time in Shreck's swamp.

  5. #5
    Member Y0UNGBL00D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    HELP

  6. #6
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Already, pussy?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  7. #7
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    You and your buddy Tenzing spend the better part of the winter marauding around GRATE-land, cataloging new species of monkey and observing insect behaviors while you grapple with your growing attraction to each other. Upon returning home, you find that you're not really the same men you were when you left and that amid the scars and aches obtained during your time as explorers you've both grown and flowered as human beings, and you finally truly understand what it means to be at peace. You wake from your freeze-induced daydream and realize that if the GRATE were something special, it probably would have been in caps.

  8. #8
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Error: the system can only recognize one command at a time. Please wait your turn.

  9. #9
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Look around the room for evidence of some kind of wiring or cabling confines--something that would lead towards an engine.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  10. #10
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Alternatively--examine WRISTWATCH to see if it has any cool features like a calculator or something that tells different time zones.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  11. #11
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    To the WEST, you can faintly see the door to the BRIDGE. To the NORTH, the CREW QUARTERS. To the EAST, you see the entrance to the GALLEY. To the south, you see the CARGO BAY. Immediately ahead, you see the POWER CONSOLE. To the left, you see a WINDOW. On the floor a few feet away, you see your CARGO PACK.

  12. #12
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    You drop the WRISTWATCH down the grate, never to be seen again. God fucking damnit.

  13. #13
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Check the CARGO PACK for something to deal with this headache. Also, I thought the wristwatch thing was a pretty good setup, frankly.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  14. #14
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    You find a small LED FLASHLIGHT, an EMERGENCY RATION, a BOOK OF MATCHES, a sheet of UNICORN STICKERS, and a NOTE that tells you to sack the fuck up and take your headache like a man. There are bigger things at play here.

  15. #15
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Hmm... alright, grab the CARGO PACK and head to the POWER CONSOLE. Identify buttons.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  16. #16
    old school Bud Luster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Return to daydream.


    Fuck Tenzing.

    Fuck monkeys.
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    The middle class needs sick beats.

  17. #17
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    All system indicator lights on the POWER CONSOLE are off, so the buttons reading GRAV, AIR, and HEAT are irrelevant, as are the power switches assigned to each of the ship's segments. You see an AUXILIARY SYSTEMS toggle that will get this ship moving again, but the unbreakable cover is locked. The captain's got the only key. I wonder where he is.

    NEW OBJECTIVE: Find captain and obtain key.

  18. #18
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Place one UNICORN STICKER on the console because, well, CUTE! Head WEST.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  19. #19
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    You reach the BRIDGE, but the door is frozen shut.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    RAGE QUIT

  21. #21
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    CREW QUARTERS
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  22. #22
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    On the way, peek through the WINDOW.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  23. #23
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Quote Originally Posted by isnate View Post
    RAGE QUIT
    Your MOM enters the BASEMENT and reminds you of your continued failure and absurd level of physical unattractiveness. You're kicked out of the house and take up residence underneath a MANHOLE COVER where you ultimately die at the grasping hands of an ominously titled drifter named KNUCKLE JIM.

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    CREW QUARTERS
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    On the way, peek through the WINDOW.
    Looking out the WINDOW, you see a vast, inhospitable landscape of rocky grey crags and ice sheets. There's no sign of help. You'd better get out of here quickly.

    Arriving at CREW QUARTERS, you find the door stuck. The pneumatic release panel is fucked, but you can see the pressure pipes exposed on the left. If only you had a blunt object.

  24. #24
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    CARGO BAY AND LET'S GET ON WITH IT
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  25. #25
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    The door to the CARGO BAY is wide open. You enter to find a stack of CRATES, a two-seat PLANETARY ROVER, a MED KIT, and the CORPSE OF A STOWAWAY.

  26. #26
    old school Bud Luster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    search stowaway.
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    The middle class needs sick beats.

  27. #27
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    In his pockets you find a CLIF BAR, some LINT, and a DRY-CLEANING RECEIPT. No identification to speak of.

  28. #28
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Do the CRATES seem sturdy enough to be able to beat the shit out of a pipe with? Also, are they liftable?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  29. #29
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    Since I know that the answer is going to be a PAIN IN THE ASS, let's go to the fucking GALLEY when you give me your SNIPPY RESPONSE.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  30. #30
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dynamic Title: Escape From A Situation That Isn't Ideal.

    OPEN MED KIT. POCKET CLIF BAR FOR LATER TRADE.

    12/16: A Winged Victory for the Sullen @ The Independent
    12/17: Sleepy Sun @ Brick and Mortar
    12/31: Derek Plaslaiko, Dave Aju @ f8
    1/8: Tamaryn @ The Chapel
    1/28: Beacon @ The Rickshaw Stop
    1/29: Ty Segall, Wand, Cold Beat @ GAMH
    2/7: Robag Whrume, Daniel Bell, Sassmouth, The Black Madonna @ Public Works
    2/14: Sparks @ Ace Theater Hollywood

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