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Thread: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

  1. #1
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Thoughts, suggestions, Bueller?

    I'm starting a lobbying force to get some quality time with Dani which you should all support if for no other reason than it's clearly doomed and will probably be very funny. To start, a list of reasons why I'm do-able:

    1. Young, fit, passably good-looking

    2. Smarter than a two-dollar whore. Wait, that's the wrong reference. Where's Dennis Miller when you need a witty qualification? Oh that's right, they stopped being witty around '92. Well, I'm pretty smart in any event.

    3. Drugs? I put the question mark there because it's hard to say if that's a selling point. Of course, if it isn't, then this thread is already doomed I should think.

    4. I'll be rich and famous by the next decade almost for sure, and you'll get to point at movie posters and go, "Yeah, I did that asshole once."

    5. Um... I curse. A lot. But it kinda works, like Kevin Smith.

    6. Technically since I'm the last great man, you'd be balling an endangered species, and really how often do you get the chance to do that?

    Anyone want to add to the list, especially if the addition is a sarcastic tearing of a new asshole for me?
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    I always assumed you were gay from your avatar. Anyway, Danielle is gay.

  3. #3
    Coachella Junkie bballarl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Yeah, she's so gay.

  4. #4
    old school york707's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Gayer than gay, I hear.
    Hunting has been part of our society since the first Europeans came over and shot buffalo and Native Americans and whatnot.
    ---
    The Dive Poets

  5. #5

    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Who in fucks sake is Dani?
    Ive got the demons in me, Ive got to brush them all away.......

  6. #6
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    I always assumed you were gay from your avatar.
    That's strange, I always assumed he was gay from all the sex he has with other men.

  7. #7
    Coachella Junkie
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread


  8. #8
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    r u talkin' about the countrygurl?
    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  9. #9
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    <---------------------------
    .................................................. ..............
    She added the phrase "meany head" to my profile.
    I hardly think I'm an attention whore.
    I train birds of prey and am I licensed falconer

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Ohhhh.... Trying to get with PF. I would say drugs or an overwellming amount of useless music knowledge. Maybe backstage passes to Daft Punk and really good LSD....
    Ive got the demons in me, Ive got to brush them all away.......

  11. #11
    old school superfiction's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by I'm Rosetta Stoned View Post
    Maybe backstage passes to Daft Punk
    somehow i think she can get those. and besides its not THAT hard. you just gotta know how to do it
    http://blogs.1077theend.com/internbryce/

    Quote Originally Posted by OnlyNonStranger View Post
    I bet all those Canucks fans from last year would love it if Mumford & Sons headlined.
    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    It is good rioting music.

  12. #12
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    PF, share your sexy. i'm getting restive here.

  13. #13
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    passably good-looking
    wtf
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  14. #14
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    lol....passably down the road....just keep passin
    Go raibh míle maith agat

  15. #15
    Member fasttrack's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    everybody's horny
    I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    P.S....PF is my future wife so ya'll back off.Her,me and our robot buddies,oh yeah and sonic youth the night before daft.I just dont think she knows this yet,I will be chasing every cart on the Coachella campgrounds.
    Go raibh míle maith agat

  17. #17
    Milkshake suprefan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    First off, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. Thats the mystery here ya know. And yeah Dani is gay.

  18. #18
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Ahh, that was exactly the response I wanted out of this. A barrage of insults... and best of all:

    It's WAY funnier if she's gay.

    Also, I can have a vagina grown out of my back in like a week, Dani, so how 'bout it?
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  19. #19
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    Thumbs up Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread



    E

  20. #20
    No Clownery full on idle's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Dude please chill the fuck out. last greatlskdfjlas

  21. #21
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Who isn't chill? Why is it so hard to be preposterous in here sometimes?
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  22. #22
    old school invisiblerobots's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread


  23. #23
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Who isn't chill? Why is it so hard to be preposterous in here sometimes?
    All you do is drool. It's disgusting man.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  24. #24
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Hey dude from the Wasteland...

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  25. #25
    Member jerpar24's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by suprefan View Post
    First off, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. Thats the mystery here ya know.
    You know what it is a mystery.
    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaSigChi4 View Post

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    E

  26. #26
    business time tessalasset's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Definitely bring her drugs.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    This is the equivalent of musical water boarding.

  27. #27
    Member tiffdud41's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    I've always had this really cool mental image of her. I bet I could pick her out--just using intuition.
    I don't have anything clever to say right now.
    Tiff's Myspace

  28. #28
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    All you do is drool. It's disgusting man.
    Hey listen, if I'm drooling it's only because this man cut my face:

    I was just trying to get what I thought would be a funny ball rolling, mates. Turned out it was more of a Hindenbergian blimp.

    Seriously though, what isn't funny about a noob with a reputation primarily for being an asshole, addict, and drug dealer trying to roll up to the mod who's heard it all and seen it all and just have the conversation go like this:

    (Just my side of the conversation, Dani's words omitted to protect her true feelings)

    "'Sup, Dani, what's the story tonight, gorgeous? Ooo, damn girl, say, have you been rolling around in some doggie doo-doo or something, 'cause you look like THE SHIT! No no, I know it sounds like a line some comedian must have written but I just pulled it off the top of my head, that's kinda how I roll. You know, that's a cute little laugh you got there, really brings out those dot-eyes I've been noticing in your avatar. Sooo... you got any hobbies that don't require any money whatsoever, 'cause if so I'd like to treat you to some of whatever they are sometime. Well of course you'd "enjoy that," Dani, after all we're talking about a date with me--it was a rhetorical question. What do you mean it was neither rhetorical nor a date? Well sorry, but if I'm paying--and remember I can't afford anything whatsoever, that's why I specified FREE activities--then it's a date to me. And as far as it being rhetorical goes, well, to quote the great William Shakespeare... um... "Some questions are more rhetorical than not... especially when the titties are totally hot." I think The Tempest, might have been paraphrasing a little.

    So how about I just pick you up, preferably as soon as possible 'cause I'm kinda horny, like, right now. I'd prefer to drive since I have a 2000 Sentra, so, you know, I like to show it off a little. Yeah it's a custom job--I got that color of green that they stopped making after the 90s 'cause it looks like the ocean when it's really gross, and there's all kinds of custom-designed scrapes and dents and shit, cost me like 4, I mean 8... after taxes and shit it was 30 grand to get it all scuffed up and reeking of cigarettes. Oh, West Coast Customs, I wouldn't trust anyone with my materialism unless they have a show on MTV, of course.

    It's supposed to be conceptual, like Pimp My Ride but ironic and shit. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm totally ironic. I mean anything about me that looks on the outside like it might suck even a little bit, that's definitely just something I made ironic. What do you mean, 'How could a face be ironic?' They couldn't, silly girl. Unless it was a face made of asses or something like that, I suppose that might qualify. Sorry, did you just say then I'm overqualified? Overqualified for what? Hey, it's okay that your jokes don't work, irony takes a lot of practice and dedication to truly live it. Like I could be 6 feet tall if I wanted to, but that shit's so played out, so I went with short instead. They can't fucking tell me what height I should be. I agree with you on that, I am a loner, Dottie--a rebel--you're absolutely right, very perceptive.

    So tell me about you a little--where'd you grow up, what was your family like, what are your goals, dreams... right, right... yeah, that must have been rough... hey, not to interrupt but just answer one quick question: how long does it usually take for a guy to refuse to leave you alone before you'll give him a hando in his Sentra just so he'll stop talking to you? Why don't you want to answer that? 'Cause it's kinda important. Not even a rough ballpark? How about we play that game where you tell me whether I'm getting hotter or colder to a handjob?"

    Yeah that's right, I just typed a ridiculously long post involving a confusing premise that might not even be funny at all 'cause I've been railing pills all night. That's Sparta for you, sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  29. #29
    business time tessalasset's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Dude you talk too much.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    This is the equivalent of musical water boarding.

  30. #30
    Milkshake suprefan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official How To Holla At Dani Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    That's Sparta for you, sometimes.


    Dude, shut up.

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