Hey Shitheads it's not the 70s anymore! The Rolling Stones FUCKING SUCK DICK NOW!

[Marlon Brando]

Why the fuck would any of you cocksuckers want to see a bunch of ex-heroin addict geriatric wankers get up on stage and take a super sized senior citizen liquid shit on the Coachella fields? You want to see Mick up there trusting his 69 year old penis? Does your girlfriend want to suck Keith's furrowed old herpes spewing wang? I bet a lot of you perverts get off on elderly porn don't you? You like watching grandma ride cowgirl don't you ya pedophiles? Mick can't sing anymore you asshole Magellans. His current vocals sound like Chewbacca getting violently ass rapped by a giant raging purple homosexual stegosaurus. I would never go to a Rolling Stones gig unless some NASA scientist invented a goddamn time machine to take my ass back to 1978. You can't enjoy a modern Stones gig unless you're TRIPPING BALLS on some hallucinogens. Not California hallucinogens, that's pussy shit. I'm talking the strong man shit that you get from guys who live in cabins in like fucking Vermont with fucking ZZ Top beards. I'm talking shit that makes you see Jerry Garcia riding fire breathing dragons with Riders in the Storm playing in the background. I'm talking about acid trips most of you soft faggots couldn't handle. You can't call your mommy and daddy once Jerry starts riding a big green dragon. I'm not talking pussy Harry Potter dragons, I'm talking big bad Leroy Brown motherfuckers that would scare the living shit out of Mike Tyson. You don't wanna fuck with those dragons. I'm glad these old clowns aren't at Coachella! Fuck you Mick! Go eat out some grandma in assisted living Keith! FUCK THE ROLLING STONES!!!!

[LickTheLizzard]

tl;dr

[krk67]

Diatribe on an old band and it not being the 70s, yet OP named himself Marlon Brando. Inter-esting.

[Neighborhood Creep]

ZZ Top confirmed

[kuuguy]

Rolling Bones?

[GuyInTucson]

Everything the OP stated is 100 percent factual

[Marlon Brando]

Everything the OP stated is 100 percent factual

You're goddamn right it is. The Godfather would never lie to you.

[nick5745]

http://www.coachella.com/forum/showt...ight-Headliner

http://www.coachella.com/forum/showt...ooking-Incubus

http://www.coachella.com/forum/showt...-Indie-Artists

What do these threads have in common? Two things: they were started by the OP, and they're awful

[Jman4321]

Thread of the year.

[canexplain]

Yea I agree. Fuck Bowie, Lou Reed, Neil Young, Clapton, Jimmy Page, those old fuckers just don't hold a candle to the young guns ....cr****

[wstsidela]

Incubus?

[Twattycakes]

tl;dr

Yup. Also what I said about his other posts.

[Marlon Brando]

Yup. Also what I said about his other posts.

The Oilers really need to get their shit together this year. How many times do those fuckers have to be given the first overall pick before they field a decent team?

[anonimouse]

what's wrong with sucking dick?

[nathanfairchild]

[T-REV]

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/ne...hella-20130118

[WhatLies]

i lol'd

[Twattycakes]

The Oilers really need to get their shit together this year. How many times do those fuckers have to be given the first overall pick before they field a decent team?

[Relic]

You want to see Mick up there trusting his 69 year old penis?

[ENluv12]

The Mule>Marlon Brando

Hell just froze.

[gaypalmsprings]

[microcuts]

what's wrong with sucking dick?

Not a damn thing. Unless you're 69 years old, apparently.

[Boourns]

Incubus?

Incubus is how you know to never take someone seriously in any imaginable way.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

Why the fuck would any of you cocksuckers want to see a bunch of ex-heroin addict geriatric wankers get up on stage and take a super sized senior citizen liquid shit on the Coachella fields? You want to see Mick up there trusting his 69 year old penis? Does your girlfriend want to suck Keith's furrowed old herpes spewing wang? I bet a lot of you perverts get off on elderly porn don't you?

I am a big fan of Old And Young Lesbians

[TomAz]

Nina Hartley FTW

[Marlon Brando]

I am a big fan of Old And Young Lesbians

Old Lesbians? You have a thing for extremely saggy tits and extremely wrinkly and loose vag? If that's your thing dude you keep on jerking off to metamucil and catheter commercials. Whatever gets you off man, go with it.

[TomAz]

Why do you care what he jacks off to?

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

Old Lesbians? You have a thing for extremely saggy tits and extremely wrinkly and loose vag? If that's your thing dude you keep on jerking off to metamucil and catheter commercials. Whatever gets you off man, go with it.

Actually I like watching the young girl grimace as she sticks her tongue in her roid rippled asshole.

[heart cooks brain]

I bet a lot of you perverts get off on elderly porn don't you? You like watching grandma ride cowgirl don't you ya pedophiles?!

holy shit.

[chbludevil]

Granny Anal Cream Pie FTW