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Thread: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

  1. #1
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    1. Wear sunblock, as well as chapstick with SPF or your lips WILL burn.

    2. Drink water and then more water.

    3. Wear the comfiest shoes you can find. Closed-toe shoes are essential if you're going to try to get near the front of the stages at night, so your feet don't get stepped on.

    4. Choose the right clothing: light clothing during the day, and bring long sleeves at night. (It's a desert, it can get a little chilly for some.)

    5. Arrive in a good mood, this is going to be a good weekend for you.

    6. Book your hotel or camping spot early. Sleeping options can often sell out more quickly than tickets.

    7. Shower (please for the love of god). Your neighbors in the crowd will thank you.

    8. Eat and take a break. Sit down.

    9. Save drinking large amounts of alcohol till afterwards, because the sun will kill/drain you.

    10. It's smart to buy the t shirts/merch you want early. They often sell out at night and the lines are very long. Locker rentals are available to keep stuff in during the day (but don't leave vinyl because it will melt).

    11. Expect to wait in the morning at the entrance gate in long slow moving lines. Either arrive way early or relax and take your time.

    12. Don't be a scarface and try to smuggle crazy ass drugs in there. While relatively lax, security/police do escort people out from time to time, and that would be a bummer of a weekend for you.

    13. Don't "push your way" up front. This is kinda important. If there is an artist you want to see, get to that stage while the artist before is still on and just wait it out, you just may end up see something else you like too. In other words, don't be the asshole.

    14. Have a physical meeting spot with your party, because your cell phone reception is spotty at best.

    15. Bring sunglasses.

    16. Know that you WILL miss some acts you wanna see. But do move around to the different stages and see as much as possible.

    17. Expect LOTS of traffic to and from festival grounds. Have patience.

    18. Buy your 3 day pass as early as you can. Coachella has sold out in the past, but not every year. Board mod Psychic Friend usually gives a warning of sorts somewhere in the message board, if things are getting close.

    19. Don't lose your digital camera. In case you do lose it, to help the good folks at lost and found, you can take a photo of your contact information and have it on the camera... it could be you holding up a sign with your phone number, email, whatever.

    20. Don't forget condoms.

    21. Limit your time in the beer gardens. They are well away from the stages and over-priced, and you will be missing out on a ton of musical fun.

    22. Get sleep.

    23. Print out a set times schedule and keep it in your pocket, or save the schedule on your phone. Circle or highlight the bands you want to see so that you don't forget. (They will have printed schedules there, but sometimes it's difficult to find them so it's better to just already have one.)

    24. Plan any of your tent signings early, and prepare to wait for your favorite, but don't go nuts at the signing tent, you'll miss lots of music. Artists and the signing tent run way late and there are always cancellations throughout the day.

    25. Bring more cash than you think you will need.

    Bonus tips:

    26. When possible, don't wear a backpack. Especially in the crowds near any stage. Unless you are working, you should leave it at the hotel, tent, or even a locker. The person behind you will be glad you don't bump them every time you decide to dance a little. Plus, it's one more security check you'll have to do.

    27. Hats might be a good idea for sun protection, but don't wear something obnoxiously big that will block the view for those behind you.

    28. NEVER text "Where are you?" or any text that requires a response because by the time you get one, your friend won't be where they said they'd be. Text affirmative statements such as "Meet at Sahara Tent at 6:30pm" or "Meet in beer garden by main stage at 8pm". Finally, time stamp your texts because ambiguous times like "Meet me in 20 minutes" doesn't mean a damn thing.

    29. Give yourself enough time to go from one side of the Polo Grounds to the other. It's a bigger area than you think, especially if you're going from the VIP or Main Stage area to the Sahara tent.

    30. If you choose to write on cars in the parking lot - please - keep it on the glass, the dust will scratch most paint. You and your friends can still marvel at your jr high bathroom drawings without doing any damage to someone's car. It's a win-win.

    31. Consider bringing something for chafing. You'll be doing a lot of walking around. Try Goldbond body powder, Chamois Butt'r, Monistat anti-chafing cream, or Bodyglide sticks (runners use them). Lots of men like using underarmor or other brand compression underwear. (Tip credit: PlayaDelWes, JustSteve and weeklymix)

    32. Bring supplies for the portopotties: hand sanitizer, wet wipes, seat covers, p-mates for the ladies, and toilet paper can all be lifesavers because the portopoties will likely run out of supplies early in the day. (Tip credit: jlandgren and koryp)

    33. If you have glasses, bring both extra contacts and contact solution as well as eye glasses. The desert air is super drying. (Tip credit: Ha.SK)

    34. Bring earplugs. Your ears will thank you when you're standing right next to the speaker of an especially loud set.

    35. Ibuprofen can be a lifesaver for muscle aches, accidental sunburn, or headaches.

    36. Baby wipes or face wipes can help to keep you refreshed, especially to wipe off sunscreen, sweat and grime when the sun sets. (Tip credit: ivankay and whynotsmile99)

    37. The toilet trailers have flushable toilets and are air conditioned.

    38. If you have allergies of any kind, bring Benadryl/Claritin/Sudafed. All the dry grass and dust in the air can be a killer. (Tip credit: lizng and The Dude)

    39. Consider bringing a way to recharge your cell phone. Having to constantly search for a signal will drain your battery quickly. Turn off 3G/4G/Bluetooth/Wifi unless you really need it, to save your battery. There are usually tents that offer recharging stations, but that's time taken away from listening to good music.

    40. Fanny packs are super convenient for carrying stuff without getting in the way. (Tip credit: ashleysmashley and amyzzz)

    41. Consider using a car finder app on your phone, or making a point of writing down directions to your car. You'd be surprised how easy it is to forget after 12 hours. (Tip credit: baily)

    42. Make sure to bring any medications in their original bottles. Otherwise, security will confiscate it. (Tip credit: ChristinaStelly)


    ***Credit goes to CDUB for this whole post. Thanks CDUB!***

  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Also, read the weather report and plan accordingly in case, you know, it ends up being 50 degrees, rainy and windy.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    To you guys I say Wat?????????? Off to ?????? ....... cr****
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    It's hard to argue with that.

  3. #3
    Member Riggins33's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    I hate when anyone does one of these they always say stay out of the beer gardens. I have the most fun in there getting drunk.

  4. #4
    Member El.C.Dub's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Tip: do not keep any vinyl purchases in your car... You can pay to ship them or keep them at record store until fest is over

  5. #5
    Member El.C.Dub's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Oh yes, mentioned above but worth stating again, DO NOT use the paint for decorating your car on anything but glass/windows, it will ruin your car's paintjob if you do.

  6. #6

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Turn 3g off on your phone and only use it to find friends. Turn it off while you sleep. You can have it last all weekend if you are smart.

  7. #7
    old school nosurprises12's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    2013: The Year Tip #37 Became Not-So-Secret
    Quote Originally Posted by roberto73 View Post
    I'd contribute to this discussion but I'm still busy reminiscing about the halcyon days of punk. You know, the mid-90s.

  8. #8
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    I always love when this list comes out. Makes Coachella more real! It is getting closer
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  9. #9
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by nosurprises12 View Post
    2013: The Year Tip #37 Became Not-So-Secret
    Shhhh....

  10. #10
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Don't get too wasted before the fest.

    If you are wasted by 2 p.m., you will not make it until the end of the night. If you do, you will be a shitfaced pile of garbage and won't remember any of the performances you saw.

    Just take it easy throughout the day, have some waters in between drinks and drugs, and be responsible.

    LADIES: I recommend bringing some sort of feminine cleaning wipes. My fiance can't live without them at festivals. The bathrooms are nasty, clean yourself up after you use them for god's sake.

  11. #11

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    the trailers don't exist
    Quote Originally Posted by TickleMeElmo View Post
    Coachella will come out of the closet announcing it's gay. Most will applaud it while some will sell their passes.

  12. #12

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    no toilet trailers this year.

  13. #13
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Wait, what???
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  14. #14

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    14/28 - I had zero issues with cell phone service last year. calls went through and texts went through right away (i have verizon).

    18 - this needs to be updated to reflect the near-instant sell outs that have been happening.

    37 - definitely one of the most important things. not sure why this isn't more well-known.

    the beer gardens aren't that bad. the ones by the main stage have speakers in them, so you can still hear the music, and see it from (relatively) far away. i would avoid the beer garden by the Sahara though.

  15. #15
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    LADIES: I recommend bringing some sort of feminine cleaning wipes. My fiance can't live without them at festivals. The bathrooms are nasty, clean yourself up after you use them for god's sake.
    These come in handy for guys too.

  16. #16
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    This reminded me to order a stash of p-mates.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  17. #17

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    Don't get too wasted before the fest.
    I can attest to the fact that you will in fact have a shitty time for the duration of the festival if you plan on getting blitzed that Thursday night. No need to rush.
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Shut it down.

  18. #18
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by nyarlathotoats View Post
    I can attest to the fact that you will in fact have a shitty time for the duration of the festival if you plan on getting blitzed that Thursday night. No need to rush.
    Well I actually meant not getting too wasted before you enter the festival.

    Like drinking in the campgrounds, parking lot, etc.

  19. #19

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    oh. well, in any case, it can't be stressed enough that heavy drinking/drug use at an outdoor all-day festival is probably a bad idea. moderation is key
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Shut it down.

  20. #20
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Especially when that sun is beating down on you all day.

    Things can get very rough.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    1. Wear sunblock, as well as chapstick with SPF or your lips WILL burn.
    Word of warning: Last year, a fatass old security guy took my spray-on sunblock on the last day, insisting I had filled it with vodka (I'm 40 -- I can BUY vodka). He wasn't impressed by my explanation that sunblock contains alcohol or my insistence that he prove it by taking a swig.

    So I had to buy the overpriced goop-y shit they sell in the festival.
    Last edited by xmichaelyx; 01-07-2013 at 12:14 PM. Reason: pic url

  22. #22
    Member christopepper's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by alysiarenee View Post
    no toilet trailers this year.
    Say it ain't so!

  23. #23
    Member rambleonfreddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by nosurprises12 View Post
    2013: The Year Tip #37 Became Not-So-Secret
    yah, please delete this!

  24. #24
    Member deanlnds's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    should have just titled this 42 tips for coachella newbies...

  25. #25
    Member Smasher's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Don't forget your thickets!

  26. #26

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    it's so! there were too many plumbing issues last year or something. i guess one flooded at one point. apparently people can't poop and flush while on drugs.

  27. #27
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  28. #28
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    Quote Originally Posted by alysiarenee View Post
    no toilet trailers this year.
    Do you have a source for this? If you can share where you read this with a link, I will update the original post.

    Quote Originally Posted by deanlnds View Post
    should have just titled this 42 tips for coachella newbies...
    It's a tradition!

  29. #29

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    A tip for not losing your phone is to buy those nintendo wii/ds wrist straps and attach one end to your pants and the other to your phone.A0PG_1_20120217_1687621.jpg
    It helped out a lot last year! But I believe for iphone 5 and/or galaxy s3 require specialized straps or cases.

  30. #30

    Default Re: 25 TIPS FOR COACHELLA NEWBIES (2013 VERSION)

    I'd ad:
    - To tie in with the bit about bringing plenty of wet-wipes etc... Clean up after yourself if you make a mess in the porto-potties, those coming after would greatly appreciate it. Good Karma.

    - No matter how cute she is please don't put her on your shoulders. SURE, she can see but it just pisses off everyone who is now staring at the back of a bitch-pole. So annoying.

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