How is there no Mother's Day thread?

[Devin the Dude]

Happy Mother's Day.

[algunz]

Thank you, and you better be nice to your mommy today too, D.

[Devin the Dude]

I am. She has been a lot nicer to me since I stopped sucking the Devil's dick. We actually get along now. Crazy world.

[koryp]

I'm contemplating a happy Mother's Day text message to avoid the phone call. On a scale of 1-10, just how awful is that?

[unit300021]

My mom decided to go out on a ladies trip to palm springs this weekend. That is cool I guess.

[Hannahrain]

My mother and I are much closer when Hallmark dictates we ought to be, so I sent her an assortment of nondescript pastel blooms and ribbon-scrolled sentiments sufficient to sustain our relationship until this time next year.

[gaypalmsprings]

My mom decided to go out on a ladies trip to palm springs this weekend. That is cool I guess.

It's sunny and 104 here today. I hope she likes it hot!

[nyarlathotoats]

I'm contemplating a happy Mother's Day text message to avoid the phone call. On a scale of 1-10, just how awful is that?

With or without a sent gift? Without seems rather fucked up

[gaypalmsprings]

[koryp]

With or without a sent gift? Without seems rather fucked up

No gift, so what's that like a 7?

[nyarlathotoats]

Yeah, 7 seems accurate. Might as well add a smiley face and heart in the text too.

[Devin the Dude]

On the fucked up scale, 9. On the feel guilty scale (for you), 3. I'm guessing you're not that close to mommy.

[canexplain]

Happy Mother's day to all the Mom's. cr****

[gillster17]

I did the text... and she proceeded to call me right after

[koryp]

On the fucked up scale, 9. On the feel guilty scale (for you), 3. I'm guessing you're not that close to mommy.

The guilt is why I'd even bother with the text.

[koryp]

I did the text... and she proceeded to call me right after

See that's helpful. I'll probably just have to call to avoid that silliness.

[Devin the Dude]

Wow. 8 people love their mothers. Pathetic.

[amyzzz]

I love my mom! I called her and sent her a card. And thanks, Devin.

[TomAz]

My mother's dead. Happy mother's day mom.

[Devin the Dude]

I miss you TomAz.

[locachica73]

I did not call my mother yesterday and I feel bad about that, but by the time I remembered it would have been too late. I am going to just pretend I didn't know it was mothers day. She forgot my birthday though, so she probably forgot it was mothers day too.

[marooko]

To answer the question, no one really gives a fuck about their mother's.

[captncrzy]

I had a great Mother's Day; Taylor brought me donuts and a Portlandia Travel Guide, and then we went to my parent's house and my Dad and husband made dinner (sticky ribs made with apricot preserves and coleslaw) while we sat around and got drunk.

[Miroir Noir]

The kid and I took O-Bob to a Mother's Day brunch that ended up having the most comically bad service of all time. At a certain point, it stopped being infuriating and just became funny. I was going to write up a list of complaints to email to the restaurant's manager, but I realized they would read it and just think I was some sort of histrionic, prone-to-exaggeration jerkoff and would probably just ignore me for not being believable.

No idea why I continue to go out to eat on Valentine's, Mother's Day, etc., when restaurants are complete shitshows.

[locachica73]

My kids made me a whole tray of chocolate covered strawberries and bananas. They came over and made me green chili chicken enchiladas and mexican rice. I did get a little bitchy though because we had planned to hang out for the day together but then they didn't show up until after 5pm and still hadn't cooked. They know that I have a hard time if I eat dinner too late because I have such poor digestion. I feel bad for being bitchy once they showed up with the big platter of fruit, but damnit we had a plan. (I really need to get over my freak outs when people don't stick to a plan)

[TomAz]

Now i'm hungry.

[Robin]

I called my mom yesterday. It was a short conversation. Apparently, watching golf on tv was more important than talking to her daughter.

[roboto]

Congrats mom, you made me.

[locachica73]

I have a ton of leftovers.

[footixy]

Why does golf always invade oldies?

Hi mom!